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Would it be acceptable and a little ironic to sign off a birthday card to my sister like this…?

She is a Fundamentalist Christian in her early thirties and to me she acts condescending and controlling and I really do not think I want her in my life anymore. I have another brother in his early thirties and he actually talks to me like a person (I am 21). She however acts like I am an ignorant kid of 10. She acts like this in spite of the fact I graduated uni with first class honours in subjects that have some relation to the human condition and human history/society/ethics. She graduated in French. Anytime I see her she cuts across me while I speak like what I was saying was unimportant and insignificant or speaks right over my head to another person like I am not there. There is nothing more infuriating than having your individuality unackowledged and dismissed as inferior. I tell her that she is very narcissistic and egotistical to behave in that way. She carries on nonetheless. Recently since giving birth however she stops me mid sentence when I am speaking to her with her baby on her lap and tells me ‘not’ to speak over her one year olds head (presumably because it might make them shy or it is disrespectful or something). So while I may have given her the benifit of the doubt in the past claiming A.D.D or head in the clouds for her behaviour to me, I cannot do so anymore because she knows quite clearly it is not a nice thing to do.
She always signs off her birthday cards with ‘God wants the best for your life’ etc. etc. and full of God bless you’s and full of messages of recruitment to the cult (don’t get me wrong, Christianity is wonderful but not in the mass hysteria it has become in Fundamentalist Churches today). I feel that her behaviour shows her to be a false Christian in the utmost sense of the word. It is all superficial and full of technicalities ‘you can’t get to heaven by good deeds alone’ type of thing (great I can be an asshole then but believe in Christ without emulating him)..So I was thinking I would end my birthday card to her with ‘science and knowledge wants the very best for your life, knowledge bless you’ as a counterpoint to her shoving it in everyone’s face all the time instead of getting a personality of her own and keeping her faith discreet. I feel awful whenever I am around her and I have never been disrespectful to her in my life, nor have I ever hurt her or used her for an ego boost which I feel she does do to me. Is she an abuser? I find her presence utterly suffocating and the fact this passes for Christianity utterly repugnant.. I have been a very spiritual girl since I was a child and have a set of ethics myself but I do not appreciate her pomposity. I feel like telling her she is a wolf in sheeps clothing to help her understand in Biblical terminology.
Wispy she constantly does rude things to me with the pretense of religion…

11 COMMENTS

  1. 1Cor.14:34-35 Let your Alan Alda keep silence in the 4077: for it is not permitted unto him to speak; but he is commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law.
    35 And if he will learn any thing, let him ask his Hot Lips at home: for it is a shame for Alan Alda to speak in the church.

  2. Just go with love and best wishes – don’t get into a fight with her, however annoying she is. I am a Christian, but would never foist my beliefs on everyone else like this, it’s rude.

  3. wow u know its not good to bottle up your feelings like that. My sister is a little like that and every now and then we just have it out. Then we’re good for a while. She prays for my soul and I kick a$$ when people mess with her. We all have our rolls to play.

  4. Lol nice idea. However, I would consider buying a card with a pentagram on it and sign it “Satan bless you.” or something along those lines for the lulz.

  5. no it would be rude to act just like she does
    treat her with respect and be better then her
    why lower your self to her level and act as she does

  6. “condescending and controlling”
    “infuriating”
    “narcissistic and egotistical”
    “A.D.D or head in the clouds…behaviour”
    “not…nice”
    “a false Christian”
    “superficial”
    “shoving it in everyone’s face all the time”
    “[get] a personality of her own”
    “used [me] for an ego boost”
    “an abuser”
    “her presence utterly suffocating”
    “utterly repugnant”
    “her pomposity”
    “she is a wolf in sheep’s clothing”
    ” i have been a very spiritual girl since I was a child and have a set of ethics myself”
    signin’ your sister’s
    birthday card
    as you suggested
    would be funny
    –if you loved her

  7. Just say “Christ hates false Christians” and never EVER be drawn into a discussion about what that means. Never say Jesus, always Christ. Repeat the phrase loudly and often. Anytime she ever mentions anything even remotely related to her church or to Jesus, simply say that. Sign all cards letters and correspondence with this phrase. Be consistent…. NEVER pass up an opportuntiy to say this… I got my “friends and family” to completely stop evangelizing to me in just under a year, in this way.
    This is ESPECIALLY effective if someone interrupts you….. if they cut into the middle of your sentence just quietly say it… if they dont stop talking, wait a couple seconds and repeat it… when they STOP talking, say it one last time, and then, as if nothing happend, go on with “as I was saying…” and finish your sentence. Repetition is the key. Stop commentating on HER behavior…. it doesnt matter to her if SHE is narcissitic or if SHE is egotistical… you want to focus your comments on what Christ thinks. Remeber, whenever YOU feel bad, or put down or disrespected or suffocated…. just say “Christ hates false Christians”

  8. The unresolved jealousy and condescension and favoritism in my family finally broke all the siblings apart and none of us speak to each other any more. None of us have spoken for 20 years. So I can empathize with your feelings toward your older sister very well.
    I can only theorize about how to repair such damage, but I do not speak from the success of repairing such dysfunctional relationships. I do not wish to fix my messed up relationships but if I were to try, this is what I might do:
    1.) Tell your sister her behavior has the very real potential of destroying your bond with her. And explain how she’s hurt you.
    2.) If she denies she’s at fault in any way and pretends to be innocent and victimized by you, let her know that your sad she’s chosen to act that way and treat her with courtesy ONLY in the future. The bond is not only gone but she doesn’t want it anyway. No birthday cards, nothing . . . NO birthday cards. Only friendly “Hello” and “Good-bye” when you occasionally see her.
    3.) If she seems to want to make things better between you, then let her know how much you’ve been hurt by her words and actions and let her know that such things MUST STOP or you’re simply back to # 2 above.
    She should not treat you the way she does. And you should not let her get away with it! Fix it or dump her. And if she doesn’t want to fix it, what choice do you have? No relationship is valuable if only one person is willing to make it work.
    Anyway, good luck and God bless. Remember, I failed with my own siblings . . . but I will admit, I never took my own advice either.

  9. Fundies twist the religion to fit what they believe. I live with one, so take it for what it’s worth. No there is absolutely nothing wrong with how you want to sign the card, but if you want her out of your life why are you sending a card at all? So you don’t sink to her level? Yes I guess it’s your choice. It seems like that will start an argument.

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