Why does my daughter's father keep telling my daughter he wants her to be a lesbian?

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…..ok, so I approached dude (once) about having these inappropiate conversations with a child (10 yr old)he only sees about five times a year and rarely calls.He denied the incidents and called my daughter a liar.This (the same conversation) has happened about three times and I assuming it will happen again.I am ready to put his azz on supervised visits.AND!!!!His “wife” is bi.*Do you guys think I will have to worry about that hag molesting my daughter?MAIN ?:How do/can I stop these converstions from happening?I really can’t blame anyone but myself for reproducing with a total noodle!!!
sorry Orihime, I did not mean to imply that at all! My thing is, she can be whatever!The conversations just need to be geared towards grades and her being the best she can be!By no means does sexuality hinder that.
ok guys! hello!?!?!?the question is at the top with additional details.Why are you spinning off the last comment?
Ms./Mr.Mia Wallace-I am shocked @ ur response! Why the race card?There are irresponsible parents in every race.Yes I myself was irresponsible getting preggers @ 18.But shyt happens,I am much more concious now than I was back then.but again, why bring race into this?Black or Hispanic? Do the world of favor and just disappear!

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Sissy Space-Sick

Your last line says it all !

SYDNEY.

Aw poor girl=(
he’s probably got her so confused.
Well, I’m going to be honest here.
I dont think you should let your daughter
see this man much more.
He doesn’t seem like he cares much anyway,
my father is the same way. I’m 14 now,
and I’ve learned he’s never going to change.
Your daughter will one day too.
But if you don’t want to take that approach
you could do one of two things:
-supervised visits
-all three of you talk about it together.
Good luck =)

Mia Wallace

Wait………you got pregnant (and I assuming he is black, maybe hispanic) by this black man and are shocked that he is irresponsible?
You, yourself called him a “noodle”. Now why are you angry about his actions? You are just as responsible for getting knocked up by some “noodle”
Yeah, you better call child services.
EDIT>>>>>>yes, but your avatar is representing you as black or possibly a minority. Percentage wise my answer is factual based on this assumption. No need to get up tight, but you did prove my original thought, so thank you.

t001_f4n

If you think she is in danger then by all means go for supervised visits but let your daughter be who she is, no one should try and be influencing her.

fantasy:.

get him out of her life
no sleeping over.
and yes, supervised visits
at ALL times

orihime

Those are inappropriate conversations for him to be having with your daughter at 10 years old. Its the same as if he drilled it into her that she should be straight and was oppressive that way. He probably should have supervised visits with her, but you do not have to worry about his wife molesting your kid. Bi or Homo does NOT equal child molester or pedophile. Bisexuals and homosexuals usually are attracted to people around their own age. A straight person is equally likely to be a pedophile, because pedophilia is something COMPLETELY different than sexual orientation.

nite_angelica

I would put him on supervised visits.. or stop them altogether if you feel it’s appropriate.
As far as his wife molesting your daughter because she’s bi… that’s ridiculous. I’m sure she likes grown up girls, that’s what bi chicks like. Child molesters like little girls. Totally different categories there.

lisajkane

You think she might molester your child because she is bisexual? Are you serious? That is a pretty strong accusation just because of her sexual preference. Your right to be concerned that he talks to your 10yr old about becoming a lesbian, that is a totally inappropriate conversation to have with a young girl. Are the visits court ordered? If not i would get them involved. Then you have the backup if this continues. Go and talk to a lawyer about your concerns because if he is in and out of her life that is very unhealthy for her. Personally I think the visits should be consistent or not at all. She needs stability in her life.

Tranyup----> Andy

A. You don’t know one or the other, if someone is 10, its a chance she may be making it up, or he may be saying that she just is. It would be different if she was 3-4yrs old, cause at that age they don’t know how to lie about this type of thing.
B. Molesting your daughter, it could be a worry, but at 10, if you haven’t already, you need to discuss with her what the actions she needs to do to prevent it, and if anything close ever happened, to make sure she knew how to get away, feel okay talking to you about it. That way, if he does try to have the conversation again, she can know to come to you about it, and how to get out of the situation w/o her feeling like it was her fault. (I was a raped/sexually abused by my father as a toddler, and know that self-blame occurs alot w/ rape/molest victims, even several years later)
C. Why this conversation may be going on? several reasons:
– he doesn’t want to see his daughter be with a nutcase like himself
– he feels that she won’t get hurt as much by a woman, which is completely untrue, there is hurt on both sides of the spectrum.
– he is some kind of physcopath that needs to go to jail for his unpure thoughts even!!
She is at a tender age, not yet a kid, but not fully grown. She is aware of alot more then you think she is, cause kids now-a-days learn so much from tv and society that they are beyond us. She is going to soon become the “rebel teen” where you will no longer matter except for $$ and a ride and such. So instead of having to let her deal w/ school, friend, and relationship issues w/ her peers and herself, be a ear, and let her know to trust you.

zournlightwalker99

u cant stop them from happening. let me take that back dont let ur daughter see him. hes just like me (yes i`m a guy) we like feemale to female. its hot it turns us on.

an

Gross..I’d be worried. That’s disgusting. It seems like he’d want her to be a lesbian because he thinks its hot. And if any guy thinks that of his daughter, that is just wrong. I’d be afraid to let my daughter go to his house. If I were you I’d make sure the visits were supervised.

catherine h

First and formost–just because his new wife is bi does not make her a child molester. The problem here sounds to me as though your daughters father, in common with lots of men–doesn’t want to share his daughter with another man. He is clearly unbalanced. Your daughter will not be lying about these conversations have none of that rubbish. 10 year olds do not have the imagination/life experience to make that kind of stuff up.
I would warn your X that these conversations are inappropriate and foolish. Tell him you have every intention of allowing him reasonable access but that if these damaging conversations with your daughter do not stop then the visits will have to be supervised. My guess–he’ll quit.
Good luck if he does continue though you must carry out the threat of supervised visits. If there is a chance your daughter could be subjected to this in the future. Hope this helps.
Now this is comes from an old dyke who has raised two daughters and is now helping to raise three grandchildren. so I do have some experience her to draw on.
Your daughter will be who she is regardless of poison dripped in her ear. She is lucky to have a savy Mum.

Ignorance is Bliss

That’s disgusting, he shouldn’t be able to see her at all. He is a nasty pervert and this has nothing to do with gay or lesbian he is just nasty. Just make sure she tells you EVERYTHING that goes on when she is with them…at least you have some red flags to warn you!

stevienicksfan

Wow. When I first read just the lead sentence, I thought – maybe lots of reasons: as a lesbian, no unwanted pregnancies, lesbians have the lowest rate of STDs, etc. etc.
But, VERY inappropriate to say to a 10 year old! Ouch!
If it continues, if he has legal visitation rights, you might have to report him to social services and see to it that his visits must be supervised by a third party.

andrea s

Sounds like an extremely dangerous situation for your daughter
Id report these conversations to whoever it is in charge of his visitation

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