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Why do i feel this way, and how can i truely become a shaman?

Serious answers only please)
First off, I am 17, my mother died a few months ago, and since i have never met my dad i was homeless for awhile and lived with a family member. Recently, that family member’s boyfriend made it obvious he did not like me, and hated me living with them and wanted me out. So i left, and i am now living with a friend. I am suffering financially, my job is cutting my hours severely to the point of 5 hour pay checks for two weeks of work.
While my mother was alive, i was a very spoiled person. I was also an asshole. Since my mother had died, i have gotten into things such as tarot cards, simple tarot spells, and the use of herb’s via teas and pastes. I have given readings to my friends, and made them various things from medicine to teas for relaxing or for good luck.
I am beginning to realize alot of things about reality i never knew before, and im beginning to see things clearly. As in, i can see through the simple, petty problems most people look at and know what the true answer or goal is. I also noticed i am starting to get….angry. I am starting to hate people for things that they do, especially my friends. I am seeing my friends for who they truley are rather than what i want them to be.
( I say nothing, i treat them no different and i don’t mention anything unless asked. It’s not my place to tell them these things. I just have been seeing them and realizing them)
I am very interested in shamanism, not because it is cool, or because im following a blind path. I want to help people, i want to be someone my friends and even strangers consult for help, wether it be advice, tarot readings, medicine, teas, simple spells, knowledge….anything. Most of all, i want the knowledge shamans are able to obtain from the unseen planes that most people are not able to see or communicate with.
Why have i been feeling this way recently, and how can i truely become a shaman?

4 COMMENTS

  1. To answer your first question…it seems as if you have gained a lot of wisdom recently and may have opened a pathway to see deeply into others…maybe you should repair your aura and you would not feel so angry, you might be picking up on others’ energies..
    To answer the second question, study. Study study study. Try and become the best at what you can do so you can provide the best help you can.

  2. all I have to say is study hard, maybe meditate some and soul search deep within yourself.
    I myself happen to be a Wolf Therian/Shaman
    and I also have a friend thats a shaman. I normal just help people out in finding their ‘inner animal’ I couldnt tell you how many people ive helped so far. but good luck

  3. Find Shamans or a shaman and other people into the occult and spirituality in your area. You can find others in your area on
    http://www.witchvox.com/
    Go to your library or bookstore and look at the books in the occult section. Some are better than others. Some are awful. Read a lot of them and after a while you will get a clue as to which books are better, though I will give you a list of some good ones.
    You should also look at different magickal traditions and get a sense of what you gravitate toward. Besides Shamanism, there’s Wicca, Voodoo, Thelema, Chaos Magick, and others. It’s good to have an overview.
    Start off slowly with meditation exercises before you do something more complicated. Magick is all about controlling your own mind. You have to be able to do that first.
    Here’s some books for you:
    Shamanism: Archaic Techniques of Ecstasy by Mircea Eliade
    “Meditation for Beginners” by Jack Kornfield
    “The One Year Manual” by Israel Regardie
    “Drawing Down the Spirits” by Kenaz Filan and Raven Kaldera
    Blessings and good luck!

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