Home Discussion Forum Why are my neighbors so unfriendly?

Why are my neighbors so unfriendly?

I live in an apartment and I always say hi to my neighbors and they never say hi back and are such snobs! I cant even make small talk with them without being snobs. Some are my age in their early 20’s and some are older people and even the older people like in their late 60s or old ladies, god they are the worst! So one time I am coming out of my apartment and this old lady hag that lives next door to me looked so paranoid and when I walked past her apartment because I had to leave my apartment, she slammed the door so loud and not just locked it but she put up a chain!!! and she kept opening the door and being nosy everytime I would walk past.
Also, one time the smoke alarm went off and it was coming from that same old lady so I politely knocked on her door and she answered it and asked: “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” And I said: “im sorry to bother you maam but I live next door to you and the smoke alarm is going off and it is coming from your apt and I want to know if you are ok and there is no fire.” and she slams the door hard again right in my damn face!!!!! it was that hard that if my face would have been any closer that she could have broke my nose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ow!!!!!!!!!!!! and again she locks it hard and hammers bolts in it from what it sounded like and I am thinking: “Jez you stupid f**king old cripple b**ch!!!! I WAS ONLY TRYING TO HELP AND BE A GOOD NEIGHBOR!! STUPID PARANOID WOMAN!!” So I am so afraid now to call my neighbors if I ever need help or even say hi to them.
Even this sweet young cute college girl that lives on my floor sees me and I never bother her and invade her privacy unless I asked if I can borrow some kind of cart to carry my groceries with or laundry and same thing:!! “She slams the door in my face and never answers the door when I am there!!!” What is with people?!!” I am not a stranger, I am their neighbor!!! Cant we just be friendly and say hi to each other and talk? How can I go about this?


  1. The best way to deal with people like that is a smile, a wave, and a loud “hello!”. Then just go about your business.
    Just because they’re goofs doesn’t mean you have to be….and maybe you can even lead by example!

  2. Wow that’s crazy. Do you have loud parties,make a lot of noise or the regular, or have people coming in and out causing drama or disturbances at all hours of the night? Those are the only things I can think of that would make people treat you like that. If you are a quiet,personable neighbor then they are just being snobs and it’s on them.
    You don’t have to be as rude as them but just don’t say anything else to them let them speak to you first. You mentioned you had to borrow a laundry cart so from now on try to get all of the things you might need so you don’t have to ask anything of them. After all who would want to borrow a cup of sugar from people like that? I wouldn’t trust them lol.
    And if one of them should happen to ask you for anything you say in a sweet upbeat tone “Well how are you? I was so sure I had done something horrible to you in a past life” And when they ask why tell them how you always spoke but they never did and say it with a smile to put them on the spot.

  3. Sounds like they are scared of you mate. How tall are you? lol.
    I would say you can’t force someone to be friendly, except by ignoring them and giving them space. Maybe you could try to take the protector role, and tell them that if they’re ever in trouble they can come to you. I don’t know though, when people are scared you can’t really do anything.
    Good luck

  4. Some people just aren’t friendly, don’t take it personally. Perhaps there have been incidents with crime in the neighborhood, and they don’t know you well enough yet. I’m sure there are people in your neighborhood that feel the way you do, and would want to be your friend. But those who don’t, don’t worry about them, there isn’t a law that you have to be friendly with your neighbors anyway. However, if it happens naturally, that’s great, and you’ll be lucky to have that.

  5. I truly love going out of my way to be nice to people like that! It drives them crazy! lol Just keep being your friendly self, don’t lower yourself to their level. Hopefully they will come around. As for the older lady, she may honestly be scared, if it were me, I would leave her a cheerful card on her door. She may be lonely you know, along with being truly frightened.

  6. Continue to greet them happily. Also, consider what type of neighbor you are being to them (example: do you play loud music late at night or really early in the morning, have loud guests, lots of guest in and out all times of day and/or night, have loud and/or smelly pets, park in the wrong assigned parking spots).

  7. No point in banging your head on a brick wall.
    I can see how having neighbors like that can be weird/annoying/frustrating. I don’t get along that well with one of my neighbors, but they at least wave, or say Hi.
    So with your neighbors, just ignore them. Don’t wave, don’t say Hello, nothing. If you’re walking by them, don’t even look at them.
    Don’t help them, don’t have any contact with them.
    As a society, I think we’re growing more and more isolated from each other.
    Not knowing what’s eating your neighbors, I can’t say what the problem is, and how you could get them to be more friendly.
    But, for your mental sanity, just avoid them. There’s no need for you to be friendly with them.

  8. I don’t get it, you’re mad at them for not being friendly, but you’re calling them derogatory names in this question. You don’t sound like you really want to be friendly, you just sound mad. Friendly people are friendly because that’s who they are, not because they expect a certain response from others. You don’t know what issues your neighbors may be dealing with. Have some compassion and leave them alone if they want to be left alone. You may be forcing this issue.

    • Hey, “LadyT” – why would you try to turn around and blame the victim for rude, idiotic behavior from his or her neighbors? Are you the lady next door, lol? It is very rude to make someone who is upset feel even worse and it is also very UN-ladylike!

  9. I had every intention of being friendly with my neighbors until I found out they stay up late and play the TV and stereo loud every night. I told them once, and they seemed apologetic and turned it down… just that once. They continued to be rude after that. I shouldn’t have to tell them every single night. Telling them once lets them know at what level it became bothersome. I rarely greeted them again and told hte management exactly why I was moving out.
    Perhaps you don’t know that you’re a bad neighbor.

  10. Forget about her, not your problem.
    If you have another concern regarding your neighbors smoke detector, call the manager when it occurs.

  11. Some people like their privacy. Leave them alone. Just because they live in close proximity doesn’t mean they are obligated to chat you up.

  12. Don’t bother with them they’re ignorant. There’s no point in dragging yourself down to their levels.
    Its possible that they don’t know the proper way to deal with people, and she might feel that if she acts that way, you’ll leave her alone.

  13. Unfortunate. Sounds like your bad neighbors qualify for a letter from YoNeighbors. Recommend communicating to your neighbors about the problem, but in a unanimous way. Good luck.


  14. For three years since I’ve moved in I am nice to everyone. I suffer from medical issues tand abd look after my elderly mom and child. No matter how hard it is for me to go out of the house I am friendly. This one person goes out of his way to look the other way when I am around. Makes me feel so sad when he does that. I don’t understand. My whole day gets ruined because many days he is the only person I see.

  15. But when someone waves or smiles back it makes my week, month or year because sometimes it’s the only nice thing that’s happened to me all year. You can make a difference in someone by just saying hi. My neighbour knows about my medical issues and she is studying nursing but not once has she asked me how I’m feeling but rather makes up things to complain about me in the neighbourhood. I am quiet and never bother anyone. Pleas it doesn’t take effort to be nice to someone

  16. I lived in an apartment complex and this one old guy never said “hi” back and just grunted. I usually give people a second chance, after that, I blow them off. My greatest revenge is making direct eye contact until I can tell they`re uncomfortable, and not smile, nothing, just walk by.

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  18. Wow someone said victim blaming, when another poster suggested to let them have their privacy. So now the neighbor who is minding their own business and being forced to interact with a stranger, is the problem? You people are mentally ill. And so is OP. Not everyone has to be your friend. Go get therapy.


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