I mean, I’m not suicidal. I just wonder what the point is. To tend to the earth? Is that why we’re here? Because obviously millions of people waste their time, doing things that don’t matter at all, and even more actively participate in the destruction of the earth. I don’t want to live here. All of this hatred and negativity. I don’t want to be here, dedicating my life to earning money so I can survive. Maybe I should just move out into the middle of a forest? Away from people, though there are some amazing, wonderful people, to just be with the animals and plants. I’ve researched extra-terrestrials, many religions and beliefs and I just… Are we living to feel happiness? Because maybe my sacral chakra/some other chakras are all messed up. Because I’m 19 and most of my life, I’ve pondered why I keep living in this hate-filled cruel world. It’s impossibly hard to be as honorable, as loving, as wise and kind as I want to be and try to be. To be truthful and slow-to anger and a martyr surrounded by people that don’t give a damn. I find it increasingly difficult to be happy in a world like this. Maybe it is because I don’t know where to go, what to do to be a good person, to live a life of learning and unconditional love at all times. To get a car seems cruel to the earth. To go back to college seems like I’d just be exhausting myself to earn money for it and to attend it, not for the learning, but for the piece of paper you get when you’ve completed so much. It all seems fake to me. It’s all a HUGE unnecessary game, and I’m sick of playing it. Any advice? I pray, and it’s the only thing that’s helped me survive this life, but I just… I don’t know. I’m not asking for proof someone if listening, but… I need some direction. I’ve lived on my own since I was fifteen, so I’ve learned a lot, but I don’t have the same resources one would have with parents.