Home Discussion Forum what should i do with my mom who has anger problems?

what should i do with my mom who has anger problems?

hello. i am an 18 year old dude that lives in the u.s with an asian mother. i go to japan from time to time so its definately not a stereotypical thing. from early childhood my mother seems to have problems dealing with anger or projecting her stress in various ways. i understand that she is just seeking attention from my own observations but the way she expresses her anger and the short fuse she has is just abnormal. today she was exploding and using a bunch of swearwords and screaming hysterically because her and my father rented a boring movie. although this is a easily solveable problem for the average person later tonight this could involve the police. (like multiple incidents in the past). It is extremely stressful for me to deal with this. one time she was waving a knife around and threatened to stab me. this was when i was maybe about 10 years old. her eyes get bloodshot she starts screaming and now she wants to kill me and kill herself. still to this day i dont know why she did that or what triggered her anger. but she said something about losing her friends because of me. she frequently has these parties in my house then on the phone later at night i hear her screaming at her friends. (from my room). (yes i have my own room). (but the lock on the room is broken so it doesnt even lock anymore lol..) i make this sound like a joke and its really not and fr years ive been trying to get help. I tried going to a psychiatrist ad he didnt really help very much. my school social workers dont understand. and my mom puts on a good act in public that she is very calm. she obviously isnt very calm because soon as she gets in the car with me back from school or back in the house when she comes home. she uses various degrees of regression projection and other childlike behaviors such as screaming stomping or throwing eggs at my dads car. i really want some logicall answers besides moving out. because i dont have a car a job or any sort of savings. or friends that would let me live with them. (still in high school). or seeking professional help because that obviously didnt solve anything. or having her seek professional help. because we all know. we tried many many times. she doesnt want to accept her problems plus no one can diagnose her with anything if she acts normal in public.

6 COMMENTS

  1. Holy Sh!t, wall of text. you’ve tried talking to psychiatrists, you’ve talked to school counsellors’, but…have you tried talking to her? just try approaching and talking to her gently. If that doesn’t work, well Idk my friend, no offense, but it does sound like your mom has some serious issues.

  2. Your mom must have some sort of psychiatric disorder. Unless someone can convince her to get help, there isn’t much you can do. sorry

  3. Hey dude I read most of what you said but i’m watching this Zorro movie so I skimmed the middle. My mom is schizophrenic and I have dated bipolar before. Your mom sounds like one of the two or both. Ok so i’m really sorry your mom is like this. My mom is like this too but I am in my late 20’s so it doesn’t even bother me any more I just laugh it off. There may be a medicine that can calm your mother down some. I’m not sure which one maybe percoset. You have to make sure the drugs do not give your mom suicidal thoughts because some of them do and you don’t want that. But she should see someone and get some kind of medication because its not normal to have violent outbursts like that and she’s probably bipolar or something else. Other than that you can try to be nice to her and with my mom I have to treat her like a kid in some respects. If she doesn’t want to be kind then I will not give her things she wants. Situations like ok mom well if you don’t want to talk nice today I will see you later and then I just leave. But if you are 18 and live with her that is not such a solution. It will get better when you move out. Just try to keep living a happy life or doing things that make you feel good. Also try to remember your mom has some sort of serious mental problem so she is like a little kid in a lot of ways. Once you see her as a child you will realize you can’t hate her because she can’t even control most of this. If you want to talk you can email me at ronbrgundy@yahoo.com or you can go on the internet and type in something like “bipolar forum” or “mental forum” and some stuff should come up with people just like you and me talking about their problems with family.

  4. ok ur mom hasit pretty bad… YOU should b the one to tell a phycologist or whatev. tell him what she does bcuz at tht point its serious. but heres the mpst important part 1. avoid triggereing her anger bcuz i no u dobt this but she cld hurt you. she doesnt mean to but she cld 2/, i know its something not expected ffrom the child, but be the bigger person because shes obviously sufferent from some kind of mental disorder nad try not to let it get to u too much bcuz ull nvr forget these memories. but tht doesnt mean to ignore at. DO NOT IGNORE IT try once more to seek help but differently. tell the specialist exacty what you wrote here. good luck!!

  5. Behavior of the such is very dangerous, it may sound like over reacting, but getting the police involved could be the right way to go. Someone who behaves in such a way can NOT be brought down with words, even it the words trigger the most powerful and painful thoughts toward themselves, they will only negetively react to this. I feel bad and I know where you are coming from, my mother was very much the same, she acted normal and polite in public, but she was a timebomb that was already set off when in somewhere private. I had no way of getting through to her, especially since my parents divorced, so my dad, even though witnessing these events in the past, could be of no help. Eventually, I was 17 when I finally decided enough was enough, I went to school the next day and reported dangerous behavior from her, and they took care of it. She now is much, much more melow, and thanks me alot for helping her get medication.

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