Home Discussion Forum What is this spiritual loneliness feeling and how to alleviate it?

What is this spiritual loneliness feeling and how to alleviate it?

I long to be surrounded by people who are deeply spiritual…I have never met a person in ‘real’ life (not on the internet) that was spiritual. Has anyone journeyed through this sense of isolation/loneliness? It kind of feels like….like I would be the happiest girl in the world if people around me would awaken and our world became more spiritual….
This feeling of isolation is growing…like I want to meet and be together with others who value unconditional love, joy and peace over negative stuff and not just conform to this world any longer…? I know that this, too, is part of the illusion…everyone around me is a spiritual brother/sister and an aspect of our greater Self. So how do I relieve this feeling of yearning deeply to meet others of a spiritual mindset?
As much as a negative feeling this is …several rare moments have also been that much on the positive side when I realize how *EXCITING* it is going to be when we all take off our cloaks of personality/ego and remember/recognize our brothers and sisters for the true Self we are…so this deep and inner yearning is not always manifesting as negativity/loneliness, but also as positive/love/excitement….
I hope this makes sense. What I am saying is that it is terrible loneliness at times while at other times, when I am able to ‘peak through the clouds’, it is a hint of bliss/joy at the prospect of true unity at a deep level…*ONENESS*…
But those times when I am able to peak through the clouds are rare…
I know on a deep level we are all one, but that doesn’t help here/now–I still feel lonely…I want us to come more together here/now.
I don’t give thumbs down…all answers are accepted and appreciated 🙂
Love and blessings to all. Thank you all for your words of kindness and inspiration 🙂
((((((((((((((((((giant hug to all))))))))))))))))
I don’t want to sound overly dramatic ya know….I am okay 🙂 in fact at most times I am a pretty happy person…this loneliness is more of a background feeling…but maybe more and more it is coming to the top… I just have this deep burning desire to experience true communion with others and God…to not see others as outside of me, but as one. I want this world to better and more fully reflect the inner love we all have inside.


  1. That’s fine, but remember others feel as you do, and you can’t be an island to yourself. We all desire everyone would know the Lord. Spend time around other believers to be encouraged. We become more like Christ by the suffering we go through. Everyday will not always have joy, or go as we desire.

  2. The loneliness of purity….. until we are all spirit, the tranquility of solitude must be indifference. This is what has come to me through my own pain. Hopefully things will change soon. Love

  3. We don’t find them because in the workaday world it’s so difficult to broach the subject of spirituality.
    I once began talking with a coworker who was a young gay man, and discovered that he had a great love of God, and tremendous interest in finding God’s company through his church and prayers. He had a very kind heart, and the conversation began because he refused to be angry at someone who had stolen $40 from him. He just smiled and shrugged and said, “Oh well. We have to forgive.” He didn’t have much money and $40 should have meant something to him. He just quoted Jesus.
    God sends such folk only now and then, whilst sending a hundred of the “other” kind. I’m sure He has a plan and a timing to it.

  4. kasey, i know what you mean
    its something i think, we are maybe supposed to soemtimes go through by ourselves anyway, seeing as our spirituality is very personal
    but it would be nice to have peopel in ‘rea’ life to talk to, share, philosiphyse and learn with/from
    you cant base your own spirituality on others wakening to theirs
    thats the point, it IS a lonely journy, its confusing, hard, scary even, frustrating at times, but its still yours, for you, about you
    all i think you need is to remember, there are people like you or similar, here, even if not around you physically, we are here, in the net 😉
    ….ohh just got a good poem subject from this thank you kasey ;-D
    the point is, you come here
    to do just that 😉
    to your edit
    i totally get what your saying
    i feel it myself, its like exactly what your saying, a big mix of feelings and undersstanding
    you feel all kinds of things, its confusing, but exhilerating at the same time, and you just KNOW thats a good thing
    well, you think you know anyway hahah
    thats the whole thing about spirituality, i dont think you can be certain of it in this life, you just have to literaly go with how it feels at any given time

  5. “This feeling of isolation is growing…” and, it will continue to grow until you give your heart ‘totally and completely’ to the Lord God and to all others, unconditionally.
    I used to feel this progressively uncontrollable feeling of loneliness until I realized my heart had to be completely overflowing with the Love of God. All my efforts and endeavors went to naught no matter what or how much I did for others. Only the Lord God can replenish your Spirit so that you always have Him first and foremost, within. 😀
    Peace and Blessings

  6. This is a complicated question because the answer is on many levels, your not alone, you have me for a start, and there are many people on here that are very spiritual. You might not like this but there is an element of truth in this next bit, who you are on the inside as a spiritual person is not who you are on the outside, when your very comfortable with your own self as a spiritual person your inner and outer energy are in sync so to speak and you will naturally attract these kind of people in your life. I used to feel like you and still do to some degree, my girlfriend I met on a date line and it took us both a little while to really come out of the closet so to speak but now we have the relationship has its own set of interesting things to enjoy and speak about. People are all on their own paths and so there is always an element of lonliness involved. Just recently after doing much research in quantum physics its really put the fact home that on all levels everything is as one, a thing all spiritual teaching has known for years that only physics has known for 110 years, try and meditate on this, draw in the energy from your room, your home, the street ,the country and the world around you. Your not alone sweet, we are all here.

  7. Sometimes you have to draw people out to discover their dreams, desires, and beliefs. Don’t assume that you are the only spiritual person on earth.
    Come down from your throne and interface with the real world. Schools, churches, libraries, galleries, museums, and coffee shops are excellent venues to begin.
    We all crave fellowship. Not that you have to be rabidly social every minute of the day. Just find a comfortable balance between total isolation and social interaction.
    Tell yourself: “I will reach out to at least one person today. I will appreciate their innate spirituality. Instead of expecting them to admire ME, I will respect and admire THEM.”

  8. We can perhaps understand a God who would forgive sinners who come to Him for mercy, but a God who tenderly searches for sinners and then joyfully forgives them must have extraordinary love! This is the kind of love that prompted Jesus to come to earth to search for lost people and save them. This is the kind of extraordinary love God has for you. If you feel far from God, don’t despair.
    (He is searching for you.) Blessings to ya
    Love Him and keep loving Him and the loneliness will leave. 🙂

  9. I got that feeling a few months ago and went outside and looked up at the stars and began yelling at God. Not sure if HE heard but a few (3) days later I got a call from Social Security and they sent me a check to take care of my needs at the time, under the guise of it being a Social Security Disability payment.
    I’m about to yell up there again tonight.
    I found that when I’m feeling lonely I only need to go out into Nature, wherever that may be for you … and sit there and think or pray or do nothing and see what happens. It might take a half hour, maybe less, maybe more, but for me I had a bird sit near me and my dog came over and rested his head on my knee and a chipmunk came up and told me not to fret. Nature will talk to you in God’s absence so you never need to worry. The NEXT thing is to eliminate FEAR from your life! (FEAR is only Forgetting Every Answer Rises). Whenever you don’t have an answer to your questions you begin to have FEAR but if you are patient and take the time to relax and just forget all the FEAR you have in your life at the time, the FEAR seems to disappear, leave, fade away. Once you become relaxed and non-fearful, the answers will slowly pop up to the surface. Try it! It works.
    I was ordained last Sunday and since it is through the Universal Life Church and their only tenet is to “Harm No One” … and we are accepting of ALL religions and faiths, even atheists as far as I know since that is also a faith. I have named my “sect” Fontanetum which means “the Springs” in Middle Age latin. If you know any Latin buffs I would like it to eventually be “The Springs of the Light”, or “The Springs of Light” Fontanetum et Lux perhaps? “The Springs and the Light?” Anyway, any help would be great.
    So, RELAX, go inside yourself and look for the pinhole of light, open it up, step inside the brightly lit room, and absorb the energy, re-charge. Should your Higher Power pop in for a refresher posit your question and absorb the knowledge. When you open your eyes you will feel totally refreshed, re-born, and full of smiles.
    If that doesn’t work you can pop into our Church, which is currently the living room in my home, and we’ll discuss it further. I’m also happy to discuss this on here, in Yahoo Chat, or on email … whatever works best for you. HUGE donations are never refused since I really need to erect a chapel, but they are also never necessary for a comparison of thoughts.
    Lastly, please feel my hand upon your head and feel the Light flowing into you, recharging every core of your being, and placing you ABOVE FEAR, and putting you into a place of Peace … your Happy Place!
    And now I must go to spread the plague of LOVE!
    I AM

  10. as a christian I suffer from exactly that same understanding .however I am reminded from Gods word the Bible;Phl.4:8,whatsoever things are pure ,honest,just,true,lovely and of good report,if there be any virtue,any praise ,think on these things.that and trying to keep my own self in check{full time job}and trying to be my highest self for others,is allot to concentrate on.and I do miss happy friendships,I have none.Its disciplining your mind ,read good spiritual material,for me I stay in the bible .when Im through I feel filled up ,and so much more hopeful.I have to say ,I have studied eastern religions in my teens and on,however when I turned 40 or so ,maybe God saw me searching for truth and touched me,and since then Ive been a Christian.and I find it so much more substantial .Thats not the best word.But His spirit comforts me and gives me strength,and sets my feet on solid groung so to speak.and because of what your saying I truly can very easily at times get very very sad.but I still relate to every word your saying as my own expierence.although our “religous” expieriance is totally different,it makes it a little difficult for me to help.but I certainly can pray for you.and will.peace be with you

  11. Hi,
    I do know how you feel!
    Just keep your chin up, because truly even when it feels we are alone, we aren’t, they are there looking over us…You know I know this is true, because she made herself known to me, and God did too once as He intervene to me and spoke telepathically. Just know they are there, and it won’t feel so lonely. This it’s not easy I know, but some day you may understand….there is a time for everything, and even being lonely is one of them times. I do believe we do gain through our suffering in every way.
    We all here us like you:)

  12. I don’t know what your religious or spiritual views are, but I think that if they are not part of a mainstream religious culture, then sharing them can be difficult. For example, I am an atheist, but I am also a spiritual person. It is difficult for me to connect with others on a spiritual level because I do not relate to people’s views on Jesus, Krishna, Yahweh, or any particular rituals that people might follow.
    You seem to describe a pantheistic view of life. Perhaps you can connect with others who share this view. Or even if they don’t exactly share it, the pantheistic view would still allow you to connect anyway–much in the way that Theologynut has described to you in her answer.
    To answer your question: what is this spiritual loneliness? I might venture a guess and say that it is a sort of intellectual or creative isolation. How to alleviate it? I can’t answer that; sorry. But if you can find a way to connect with and share your thoughts, views, feelings, and ideas with someone else, and a way to delight in their thoughts, views, feelings, and ideas, then maybe you will connect and not feel so lonely. Good luck to you in finding a “kindred spirit.”

  13. I took the journey and made it to the felling of “oneness” that you’re looking for (but not in the way you would expect). Please continue on only if you are serious about being “open to new ideas”
    Try this, close your eyes and say “God help me, give me Jesus.”

  14. We may be alone but never lonely, the whole of every being in creation ever eager to connect to us in serving and some of them are doing whether we are aware or not, ask or not ( such as Sun, Air, shades and foods/fruits of plants and trees and so on ) , if only we let ourselves into it and that is spirituality – experiencing the connectedness of all that exist, where we never ever feel lonely!

  15. The problem is that you are still *you* and enlightenment/inner peace/whatever you like to call it is still a concept that you see as outside of *you*. You talk of ´peeking through the clouds´ – who is it exactly that is peeking through the clouds? You seem to have made it all about achievement, you have a new destination in mind. You have made losing all goals your new goal!
    There is no easy way to explain this. There is a zen saying, “If you steer onto the path, you turn away from it”. By trying to be spiritual, turning that into a new goal for yourself, you are in fact adding to your ego and doing the opposite. The way to go forward is just to DO it. Don´t do whatever it is you do to reuce your ego for any reason, just DO it. Do it for the sake of doing, without any thought for self.

  16. .
    Kasey, what you are feeling is a very natural feeling …. you feel you want to be amongst kindred spirits.
    But it’s not always easy to spot someone who is deeply spiritual, in every day life. It may not be immediately apparent.
    But I have found such people while following other pursuits.
    I have found spiritual people working in the care of animals, working in the care of the environment. I have found them on Courses teaching Chanting, Qi Kong, Feng Shui, Reflexology.
    I have found them in Clinics practicing Homeopathy, Herbal Medicines, Acupuncture. I have found them in Shaman Drumming Groups.
    But it has taken a few weeks for either of us to realise how much we had in common.
    I may be fortunate in where I live, and that these sorts of practices are available within a mile or two of my home.
    But I would say that to find a spiritual person, look for people who realise that there is more to life than just the physical body and who have an interest in pursuits that could be considered alternative.
    I may be a little bit biased here, but I find Buddhist centres to be of great value in these matters of spiritual friendship and spiritual community.
    “ANANDA: Half of the spiritual life is spiritual friendship, spiritual association, spiritual intimacy!
    THE BUDDHA: Say not so, Ananda, say not so. It is the whole of the spiritual life.”
    Samyutta Nikaya v.2 from: Some Sayings of the Buddha.

  17. I do understand what you are going through, and I think that I can maybe help you. I write about the connectedness that all humans should feel to each other, how everyone is amazing because we can teach and learn from each other, and how we need to respect and connect through similarities and then be exposed to the wonders of differences. It all sounds very kitchy, but I really mean it. If you are interested contact me at http://YoungGlobalCitizen.com there is a contact form on the top.
    Thanks so much I hope I can help you

  18. .
    Spiritual, no loneliness? To be of that is to be of no judgment of others as well as own self. Sincere and true forgiveness of all things, events and people as well as own self. To see the face of Love (i.e. Christ, God, Buddha, Light, etc.) in the face of all people, including self.
    This possible to do and be? Yes, very much so. Important key is…BE Love for the sake of Love…not for sought goal of not wanting to be lonely. Be unconditional Love, not Love with conditions attached to being Love.
    How is this known to be true? That is recorded in historical writings, books, scriptures. It’s recorded in not so recent history. It’s seen and known in people in “common” towns and walks of life. Some right in your own life yet maybe not aware of.
    Read and “learn” about teachings and stories on topic of judgment, forgiveness. The more that is “remembered”, “learned” about then any felt loneliness dissolves.
    This Love known…a person is NEVER alone.

  19. I know just how you feel because i feel the same way. But there are people out there that will have the same passions as you do, just pray to God and ask Him to bring you people that can be encouraging for you with similar passions. Trust in God and know that He wants those things too– oneness, joy etc. So you are not alone! the Creator of the universe is right alongside you! and many other brothers and sisters in Christ 🙂

  20. What does a small new born do, it cries for it mother, to hear her heart beat again, they do not have understanding yet, they do not understand they are out.
    We are like that, Job 33:4″ The Spirit of G-D made me..” yes made you flesh and gave you your first breath, and you have now been turned out. You want to hear the heart beat of you mother. you want to re turn, again. We need now our second breath given form the Almighty G-D.
    In Genesis 27:27 And He came near, and kissed him: and smelled the smell of his raiment, and blessed him, and said, See, the smell of My son is as the smell of a field which the LORD hath blessed:
    G-D will come near us when we smell the smell of putting sin out, we draw G-D of heaven and earth in holy union, to bring forth a son of G-D.
    A new born cries out to G-D read Psalm 57:2 I cry out to G-D Most High, who fulfills His purpose for me. We are seeds in the womb of the Spirit of G-D on earth, and when we labor, putting sin out as it is in heaven, the offering that is burning on our desire to serve G-D day and night, offering our free-will to do the will of G-D in all we do and say, G-D smell it and draws near. The holy union of heaven and earth, our appointed ordinances of heaven and earth read Jeremiah 33:25.
    Hear Solomon cry. the book of Song of Solomon 3:1 By night on my bed I sought Him whom my soul loveth: I sought Him, but I found Him not, 2, I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek Him whom my soul loveth: I sought Him but found Him not.
    verse 3 The Watchman that go about the city found me: to whom I said, Saw ye Him whom my soul loveth?
    verse 4 It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found Him whom my soul loveth: I held Him, and would not let Him go, until I had brought Him into my Mother’s House, and into her chamber of her that conceived me.
    Job 33: The Spirit of G-D made me (one breath, flesh, sin, death, Mother’s house-earth) but the breath of the Almighty gives me life. (the eternal breath of the Almighty in holy union, the kiss when the heaven and earth draw near, a child is given up to Us (the G-D of heaven and earth) to Us a son is born, Isaiah 9
    Set G-D As A Seal Upon Your Heart; G-D With Us, you will never be alone or forgotten, you are loved.

  21. loneliness is really a void within ourselves, a hollowness that cannot be filled with other people no matter how close, warm, and fulfilling our relationships might be.
    The yearning we feel is real; it comes from the depths of ourselves. But love is not the answer to this spiritual yearning. Fusing with another person will not solve all our problems.But if our real problem is our Spiritual Malaise – felt as loneliness – even the most ideal loving relationship will not fill the aching void.
    For a time, probably, love will cover our inner emptiness, but after the initial period of emotional excitement is over, our fundamental hollowness will make itself felt again. Then we may blame each other for our spiritual alienation. We may respond to the reappearance of loneliness by changing partners. With a new person to love, we can become lost in romance again, forgetting momentarily our inner incompleteness of being.
    The belief that ‘true love’ will solve our spiritual dilemma is one of the strongest illusions of the world. Perhaps only a series of disappointments will convince us that love cannot solve our spiritual loneliness
    Spiritual loneliness cannot be filled with relationships based on personal needs. It is not a specific human being who can fi ll this kind of void but a certain kind of relationship that we build with the subtle forces of the universe. It is fi lled by building a relationship with a vision, a purpose, a noble plan that expands beyond our personal needs. We are not trying to “save the world” but are trying to connect to an energy that is the building block of making a better world.
    The best method of feeling connected is a dual approach consisting of inner expansion of space and outer expression by service. Find a worthy cause and serve with all your heart. Serve on a regular basis. Find an organization that does what you love and agree with and give of your time, your talents, your creativity. Go there in person and give a few hours on a regular basis, every day or every week. Do whatever is asked of you and learn to be a selfl ess team player who is group conscious and cooperative. Do not complain, do not boss everyone around, do not throw your weight around just because you are so talented! Just serve and do whatever is asked of you. Make sure you are reliable, consistent, and humble. You will not believe what this will do for your spiritual wings. This is called “selfl ess service.” Do not wait “when you have the time, the kids are grown, the dog is better, the husband/wife are willing, the temperature is perfect, you have retired, and so on
    and on.” You know the drill! In selfl ess service, you are linking with the powerhouse of the purpose and direction of life and you will never again be lonely.
    “Service and
    mental expansion
    stretch us into the higher
    dimensions where there is no
    loneliness, no separation,
    no depression.”
    Second, elevate your mind to the higher level. This is crucial especially for people who are well educated and serious thinkers. Our mind is often what traps us and imprisons us or leaves us in a deep loneliness. If we let our lower mind have the last word, it will separate us from life using all sorts of clever excuses. How to raise your mind? One is scientifi c meditation. Two, is serious study of high-level esoteric writings. Read, contemplate, and apply what you study in your daily life. You can add a third layer by translating some of these serious writings into different languages and by paying attention to the deeper layers of meaning. Translating deep subjects is a wonderful tool of expansion; it really puts us into the energetic levels of the author and the written materials. Service and mental expansion stretch us into the higher dimensions where there is no loneliness, no separation, no depression. The subtle aspects of life, the feelings of the heart, the process of knowing the beauty of life cannot be measured by our material bodies nor by our material relationships, but by the experiences we have when we link with our hearts and higher minds to what is the most essential in life: expanding our love, our light, and our spiritual will to sacrifi ce our own agendas for the greater good. There is no better way to accomplish this link except though service and inner expansion.
    I wish each of you a seriously expansive year where you are able to link to the most essentials in life and to the Greater Life that surrounds you.
    With love and gratitude,

  22. Question backatcha… does the spiritual path always lead through the desert?
    I’m reminded of the 40 days and nights and the phrase “dark night of the soul”.
    I wouldn’t consider myself deeply spiritual,,, sounds like too much of a commitment, lol. I’m just deeply curious!
    Something I heard the other day… “to be alone is to be “all-one”…loneliness is a different thing entirely…when you are alone, there is no other and there is no-one to experience loneliness” (Osho)

  23. I understand the loneliness. I found that during my loneliest time all I had was Jesus and I spent a lot of time in prayer. I could feel his presence with me throughout the day I was at peace being alone with him. I missed my friends and my family but they hurt me, the let me down, and were not there for me when I needed them most. Jesus is the only one who will always be there for you. Spend this time getting to know him. Try a United Pentecostal church. Take time making friends most of the time they let you down or bring you down. You have the only true friend availabe to you give him everything you’ve got.

  24. Rumi wrote this for you. You are not two different beings. He knows you well. With any luck, this longing will never leave. Don’t try to get rid of it too soon. Honestly. He wrote it for all who know how to listen and then who keep listening. It is so worth hearing.
    “Love is not condescension, never
    that, not books, not marking
    on paper, not what people say of
    each other. Love is a tree with
    branches reaching into eternity
    and roots set deep in eternity.
    and no trunk! Have you seen it?
    The mind cannot. Your desiring
    cannot. The longing you feel for
    this love comes from inside you.
    When you become the Friend, your
    longing will be as the woman in
    the ocean who holds on to a piece of
    wood. Eventually wood, woman and
    ocean become one swaying being,
    Shams Tabriz, the secret of God.”
    Rumi, Sufi poet

  25. You need to find a religion that follows these principles.
    (Hebrews 10:24-25) And let us consider one another to incite to love and fine works, not forsaking the gathering of ourselves together, as some have the custom, but encouraging one another, and all the more so as YOU behold the day drawing near.
    (1 Corinthians 1:10) Now I exhort YOU, brothers, through the name of our Lord Jesus Christ that YOU should all speak in agreement, and that there should not be divisions among YOU, but that YOU may be fitly united in the same mind and in the same line of thought.
    (1 Peter 2:17) Honor [men] of all sorts, have love for the whole association of brothers, be in fear of God, have honor for the king.
    Regarding his followers, Jesus said: “I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love among yourselves.” (John 13:34, 35)
    I find this love of spiritual togetherness at my local Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

  26. My dear,
    We all long for this at least the majority of us who are awake. I have been desiring “home” a place where there is nothing but everlasting peace within. No matter where I have lived I never could feel “home” and didn’t really understand why or where this feeling was coming from until I awakened.
    Home is peace within; a place where no one can hurt or scare you. As long as you are a part of the physically living in this earth plane you will encounter the unexpected daily. I often ask myself this question, “Why do I swim up stream against the current fighting for my life?” Where is there to go, what is there to do? These are the questions that get lost in the mid-stream.
    I am lonely too which has made me weary, bitter, unmotivated and sad. This journey to the other side is bitter/sweet, but I am ready to go home anytime…physically and spiritually.
    Consciousness/awareness is drawing nearer and we will be in communion with God and others.
    May you be filled with peace to overflowing.

  27. The question that you have asked is the question of every human being. We are born alone, we live alone, and we die alone. Aloneness is our very nature, but we are not aware of it. Because we are not aware of it, we remain strangers to ourselves, and instead of seeing our aloneness as a tremendous beauty and bliss, silence and peace, at-easeness with existence, we misunderstand it as loneliness. Loneliness is a misunderstood aloneness. Once you misunderstand your aloneness as loneliness, the whole context changes.
    Aloneness has a beauty and grandeur, a positivity; loneliness is poor, negative, dark, dismal. Everybody is running away from loneliness. It is like a wound; it hurts. To escape from it, the only way is to be in a crowd, to become part of a society, to have friends, to create a family, to have husbands and wives, to have children. In this crowd, the basic effort is that you will be able to forget your loneliness. But nobody has ever succeeded in forgetting it. That which is natural to you, you can try to ignore — but you cannot forget it; it will assert again and again.
    And the problem becomes more complex because you have never seen it as it is; you have taken it for granted that you are born lonely. The dictionary meaning is the same; that shows the mind of the people who create dictionaries. They don’t understand at all the vast difference between loneliness and aloneness. Loneliness is a gap. Something is missing, something is needed to fill it, and nothing can ever fill it because it is a misunderstanding in the first place. As you grow older, the gap also grows bigger.
    People are so afraid to be by themselves that they do any kind of stupid thing. I have seen people playing cards alone; the other party is not there. They have invented games in which the same person plays cards from both sides. Somehow one wants to remain engaged. That engagement may be with people, may be with work…. There are workaholics; they are afraid when the weekend comes close — what are they going to do? And if they don’t do anything, they are left to themselves, and that is the most painful experience.
    You will be surprised to know that it is on the weekends that most of the accidents in the world happen. People are rushing in their cars to resort places, to sea beaches, to hill stations, bumper to bumper. It may take eight hours, ten hours to reach, and there is nothing for them to do because the whole crowd has come with them. Now their house, their neighborhood, their city is more peaceful than this sea resort. Everybody has come. But some engagement….
    People are playing cards, chess; people are watching television for hours. The average American watches television five hours a day; people are listening to the radio… just to avoid themselves. For all these activities, the only reason is — not to be left alone; it is very fearful. And this idea is taken from others. Who has told you that to be alone is a fearful state?
    Those who have known aloneness say something absolutely different. They say there is nothing more beautiful, more peaceful, more joyful than being alone. But you listen to the crowd. The people who live in misunderstanding are in such a majority, that who bothers about a Zarathustra, or a Gautam Buddha? These single individuals can be wrong, can be hallucinating, can be deceiving themselves or deceiving you, but millions of people cannot be wrong. And millions of people agree that to be left to oneself is the worst experience in life; it is hell.
    But any relationship that is created because of the fear, because of the inner hell of being left alone, cannot be satisfying. Its very root is poisoned. You don’t love your woman, you are simply using her not to be lonely; neither does she love you. She is also in the same paranoia; she is using you not to be left alone. Naturally, in the name of love anything may happen — except love. Fights may happen, arguments may happen, but even they are preferred to being lonely: at least somebody is there and you are engaged, you can forget your loneliness.
    But love is not possible, because there is no basic foundation for love. Love never grows out of fear.
    But why do you feel attracted towards one certain person? It is because of your imprint. He must resemble your father in some way; she must resemble your mother in some way. Of course no other woman can be exactly a replica of your mother, and anyway you are not in search of a mother, you are in search of a wife. But the imprint inside you decides who is the right woman for you. The moment you see that woman, there is no question of reasoning. You immediately feel attraction; your imprint immediately starts functioning – – this is the woman for you, or this is the man for you.
    This seeking to relate to others is nothing but escapism. Even the smallest baby tries to find something to do; if nothing else, then he will suck his own big toes on his feet. It is an absolutely futile activity, nothing can come out of it, but it is engagement. He is doing something. You will see in the stations, in the airports, small boys and girls carrying their teddy bears; they cannot sleep without them. Darkness makes their loneliness even more dangerous. The teddy bear is a great protection; somebody is with them.
    But the first basic thing is to know your aloneness absolutely. This escape from yourself you have learned from the crowd. Because everybody is escaping, you start escaping. Every child is born in a crowd and starts imitating people; what others are doing, he starts doing. He falls into the same miserable situations as others are in, and he starts thinking that this is what life is all about. And he has missed life completely.
    So I remind you, don’t misunderstand aloneness as loneliness. Loneliness is certainly sick; aloneness is perfect health.
    Once you have entered your innermost core of being, you cannot believe your own eyes: you were carrying so much joy, so many blessings, so much love… and you were escaping from your own treasures. Knowing these treasures and their inexhaustibility, you can move now into relationships, into creativity. You will help people by sharing your love, not by using them. You will give dignity to people by your love; you will not destroy their respect. And you will, without any effort, become a source for them to find their own treasures too.
    Whatever you make, whatever you do, you will spread your silence, your peace, your blessings into everything possible. But this basic thing is not taught by any family, by any society, by any university. People go on living in misery, and it is taken for granted. Everybody is miserable, so it is nothing much if you are miserable; you cannot be an exception. But I say unto you: You can be an exception. You just have not made the right effort.
    May you always shine like a Star and be fragrant like a Flower,
    God bless your Life with infinite Love and Peace, Amen.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here