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What do you think of my storyline?

What’s shakin’ Yahoo answers? I’m writing a book, and want your opinion about it:
In a world where we finally run out of fossil fuels. Where our only energy source is a Jewel that was discovered in meteorite, broadcasting its power worldwide….is taken.
Jonathan Silverbell, a normal poverty-stricken teen who struggles with life’s hardships…discovers the world of vampires. Realizing their plan of world domination, he sets off on a journey with the aid of his best friend Christopher Goldenrain to find all five pieces of the Jewel of Entity, and bring an end to the vampire legacy.
Also contains: Zombies, chi (energy) based attacks, the Requiem Stone (the vampires’ version of the Jewel of Entity, which can bring back the dead), and a hidden history behind each character.
And one more thing, if you have any ideas, could ya share it with me? Thanks!
If you want to read it, here’s the link: http://www.worthyofpublishing.com/book.asp?book_ID=13853
Anyone reading this, i’m redoing the question to explain my book in more definition. Here’s the link: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101101113123AAGsTwt

8 COMMENTS

  1. This sounds AMAZING! If this was already a book it would be in my collection. I hope you get it published and if you do I also hope you tell me!

  2. It’s not bad, but it doesn’t really sound like something I would read. The first two lines were good, the energy supplying jewel stolen part. But I’m not sure what vampires and zombies and chi based attacks would bring to it. It just seems like you’re trying too hard to make it appealing to more people. If it was just Jonathan going across the globe to find the jewel, then maybe I would read it.

  3. Sounds interesting but not really sure about yet ANOTHER vampire book.
    As for ideas, maybe your hero could have some murky, vampire-related past? Maybe he could have a vampire dad or something like that? Or he really wants to find the vampires to steal the Requiem Stone to bring back dead girlfriend/mum/dad/brother etc. Can’t wait to read it 🙂

  4. ~.αи∂ ιи тнє мσяиιиg, ι'м мαкιи ωαffℓєѕ.~

    that is so fab! i love it! i will certainly read it 🙂 email me if you get it published please

  5. I wouldn’t read it, sorry.
    Seems way too cliché for me.
    I found it interesting until you mentioned vampires.
    Why, WHY, does there need to be vampires?!

  6. Things that I like about your story:
    – the jewel that is an energy source
    – the jewel is stolen
    – the character Jonathan Silverbell
    Things I do not like about your story:
    – how Silverbell and Goldenrain both contain colors
    – the world of vampires. I say this not because vampires are overdone, but because the concept just seems so out of whack with the rest of the plot. Maybe you have some great reason why vampires need this stone, but I really don’t think it fits. I’d say the evil person should be a corporation or an alien species or something else.
    Hope I’ve helped.

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