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What do you think of my plot?

Hey Yahoo Answers, I’m writing a book, and would like to hear your opinion:
Eons ago… before Earth was created. There was a world, with inhabitants with superhuman capabilities. Their ruler was a mighty God, who had a split personality. One half was named Lumiere, the other Ame Manger. Lumiere had the power of life giving; while Ame Manger could only destroy. Ame was jealous of Lumiere, he wanted to have the ability to create life. So he separated from Lumiere, and destroyed the planet, with his counterpart and the inhabitants in it.
Only two survived; two very gifted children loved by Lumiere: Soldat Argent and Oro Tuteur. They were the best of friends before the incident, sharing everything; including their grief of the lost planet. They both had ideas of creating their own planet, with beings similar to them. Except Oro wanted to make slaves of his creations, and they came to a disagreement. They fought for centuries until they settled upon an agreement. They were to split the universe in half, and make their ideal planets without the other.
Soldat Argent created his own, a small green planet with peaceful natives and beautiful, lush land. Their prized gem-The Jewel of Entity- was the relic of their planet. It was the manifestation of Soldat’s power, for he feared it could be used for wrong purposes.
Oro created the Shadow realm, and created an altered race of beings with powers similar to his own. They feed upon the things that all living beings strive on. Love. Hope. These could be found in blood.
Oro was still angry about his quarrel with Soldat, and sent his army of “vampires” to Soldat’s planet. Since Soldat did not have an army, or powers, he was forced to escape. He fled to his back-up planet, Earth. They settled there. Their descendants still living to this very day…
Oro searched for Soldat for years, but could never find him…whilst his search, his race of “vampires” grew hungry and starved to death. So Oro Tuteur created the Requiem Stone, an embodiment of his power, which can bring back the dead, and gave it to the “vampires”. Weak and defenseless, Oro fled from his race, floating in space until he reached Earth. By the time he landed, he perished away…
The year is 2029, and here is the main conflict:
In a world where we finally run out of fossil fuels. Where our only energy source is a Jewel that was discovered in underground, broadcasting its power worldwide….is taken.
Jonathan Silverbell, a normal poverty-stricken teen who struggles with life’s hardships…discovers the world of vampires. Realizing their plan of world domination, he sets off on a journey with the aid of his best friend Christopher Goldenrain to find all five pieces of the Jewel of Entity, and bring an end to the vampire legacy.
P.S. Jonathan is the reincarnation of Soldat Argent, and Chris the reincarnation of Oro Tuteur. But they do not know this. Well, maybe not Jonathan…
Also contains: Zombies, chi (energy) based attacks, the Requiem Stone (the vampires’ version of the Jewel of Entity, which can bring back the dead), and a hidden history behind each character.
And one more thing, if you have any ideas, could ya share it with me? Thanks!


  1. Wow! It sounds really good. I thought when I first saw what it was about that it was another cliche overdone supernatural teen story, but when I read it through, I thought that it was actually really oringinal. I like how it starts one way, then changes, then goes straight to the future etc, I really like confusing plots and this is one I would deffo read if it were available in shops. I think you should do this, and publish it- I’ll be first in the queue on release day!


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