I have a slow moving terminal illness. I’ve gone thru a lot of the “phases.” I am not in pain. I most likely have several years that
will not be bad as far as pain etc is concerned. But my psyche feels stalled. I’ve never had this experience before so I’m pretty sure it has to do with the dx. I’ve had it for a long time so I’ve had time to deal with a lot of the emotions about it.
The reality is I can get on with my life. The quality of my life is not horrible. Plus I can look forward to several years like this. I’m a “creative-personality” but this doesn’t feel like any creative block I’ve ever experienced. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s my root chakra that is blocked. I guess that makes it difficult to move up to the others. Not sure about that.
I’m 60 years old to give you an idea of where I am in life. My life has always been the adventure that I wanted it to be as a young girl. I have experienced and explored life to it’s fullest since becoming an adult.
I don’t feel depressed. I feel pretty philosophical about it now (after going thru a lot of other feelings). I am limited in ways that I’ve never been before. I’ve always had high physical energy and now I have to ration it out and be careful not to overdo.
I’ve always been a free-spirit and I feel like I’ve been grounded and not in the good way. I have a lot of air in my astrological chart. I “do” feel that my wings have been clipped. I’m used to the sky and I never have been very grounded (the good grounded). Maybe this has to do with that. I’m not all that comfortable touching earth. I don’t know how to do earth and to be honest, I’m not that interested in learning.
I’m still creating every day. I spend a lot of time studying (my favorite hobby). I say this because, essentially, the things I do and love, I still do and love. Those two things have not been effected. I can still soar in my mind, like always. All the more difficult to figure out why I feel this huge frozenness inside. It feels like a lack of movement altho mentally there is no lack of movement.
I’m very in touch with my emotions and know how to process them so I don’t think it’s an emotional thing. It really feels like the root chackra.
I’ve always lived in my head. I “am” having to deal with a lot of earth-type things like remembering to order and take my medicine. There is a lot of it so that’s not so easy for someone like me. My memory has never been a strong suit. I have to remember dr appts, ordering oxygen, keeping the house cleaner than I used to because of my breathing (copd).
I guess I really am having to deal with a lot of earth energy and it sooo does not come natural to me. It’s hard to keep up with it all. I post notes to remind me of when to do these practical things but after a while I don’t notice them and once again I’m out of medicine or oxygen.
It feels kind of overwhelming trying to do all these earth energy things. I have no gift, not even a little talent with earth-energy. I just don’t know how to do all this.
I live alone and don’t have anyone to help me with these things. I have to figure this out somehow. This probably has to do with why my psyche feels so blocked. No movement. Stuck.
Well, at least I have a better idea of what I’m dealing with for writing this. If anyone has any ideas, either on the practical matters, or on how to get my chi moving again, I’d really appreciate any help. Thank you in advance.
I am an aquarius with air, fire and water in my chart. no earth.
I’m not sure what you mean by indulgences. I don’t have resources, neither financial, energy, people or anything else to provide indulgences. Most of the time I feel like all my energy is going toward just trying to survive in all areas. But I hear what you’re saying about getting some help. Maybe my dr “would” have some advise in that direction. I appreciate that so much.
Someone is praying for you. It’ll mess up your chi every time.
I’m no expert on chakras or astrology, but I can recommend some good books, starting with “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay. I would also recommend “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz and any of the Teachings of Abraham books by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Know that I will be sending healing energy your way.
Sounds like you need a cleansing. I’m not the best person to give advice on how, but a spiritual/chakra cleansing is def. the solution.
I’ve been there, yet not in the full description as yours. I’m a very creative person and yet I’ve not been able to produce much of anything. I do know that there is one thing that gets my juices going and that’s by listening to some music; something that will open up the unseen world and create visions of light and possibilities. This is one tool I use to battle the “stuck” feeling.
What sign are you anyhow because I’m guessing that you are earth, yet full of air in your description. I think perhaps a lit fire in your spirit should do the work.
As for your worries, you need to clear you mind and then work on becoming organized; come up with a routine that feels comfortable to you. This may help you be able to do the everyday things. Also, try to limit what you should do on a daily basis – don’t look at the big picture, but focus on the things that you can do NOW.
As for what you said: “I can still soar in my mind, like always. All the more difficult to figure out why I feel this huge frozenness inside. It feels like a lack of movement altho mentally there is no lack of movement.” – I can totally empathize with you saying that you’re having difficulty figuring out why you’re feeling frozen inside. This plagues many people actually – a stump in the way of their path.
I hope that I may have helped. I’m not the greatest on advice, but I do see the signs of a blockage and you’re need of a cleansing. Look into meditation and perhaps some music therapy. I sometimes use the internet for research and learning new things, but even then, that sometimes doesn’t help.
There is a lot here. But there is little as well.
Here’s why: The latter half of this is most telling — from Paragraph 8 and on — beginning with the following:
” I’ve always lived in my head … having to deal with…remembering to order and take my medicine … dr appts, ordering oxygen, keeping the house cleaner than I used to because of my breathing (copd).
” It’s hard to keep up with it all. I post notes to remind me of when to do these practical things but after a while I don’t notice them and once again I’m out of medicine or oxygen.
” It feels kind of overwhelming … I have no gift, not even a little talent with earth-energy. I just don’t know how to do all this… ”
Now — here is the pivotal portion in all of what you say:
” I live alone and don’t have anyone to help me with these things. I have to figure this out somehow … No movement. Stuck.”
Here is the First great step to the healing, to wit: ” Well, at least I have a better idea of what I’m dealing with for writing this. ” And your asking for help is your Second great step.
Actually, you already named your solution to this and have the remedy already. Simply: you are doing far too much alone — you are far too solo!!!! Especially given your medical needs and the stresses that accompany all of this. What you are undergoing is ‘burn out’.
You are lacking the balance of Inflow and Outflow with others and are practicing a method of living that is not sustainable. This is why you are “Stuck”, “Frozen.”
Bear in mind that Chakras’ are micro-nodes no different in purpose than those found on any planet, star system, or galaxy. We all are micro-versions of even greater structures in the universe. We require inflows and outflows of energy tides. You are no different than the want of universal dynamics. You have simply placed yourself in a condition of imbalance. That’s all.
Commence now and cease with indulging yourself. Go to someone you know or are comfortable with — or — ask your health provider for advice and seek out a social-health service agency that are trained to direct you to caretakers and social workers and LVN’s and who will be glad to help manage your daily affairs.
Once you commence with a schedule and rhythm and begin outflowing with others again, the rest will fall into place naturally.
Finally this thing of chakras and all of that is of secondary and tertiary importance: ‘That’ application can come later once you are more grounded. ‘But not now. Leave that be for now.
There is simply no healthy way that one can undertake to manage all of one’s health concerns in addition to the other matters of daily living and still expect to stay glued together. Something will give. Something will break down — ‘has to.
All right, put your self-indulgence aside (or pride if that is applicable) and go get help. This way you can get back to your creative works in a truly creative, constructive manner… So, do this and fear not.
From what I observe, you’re okay. You’ll be just fine…so long as you activate yourself to get help. Throw out the indulgences [fixations upon things that retard movement; self-absorption]; these do not work.
At this age, pray and leave everything to God. Be cool. Adjust with the present environment. Be contended and happy. Guide. Be a mentor. Go along with the luck wherever it takes you and enjoy.
Up to the age of 25 our body will grow gradually and be able to have full energy. It will remain in the same condition, of course, based on the type of usage of our body and mind, for up to 45 or 50 years of age. Thereafter the energy level comes down and all our parts like ear, nose, tongue, skin, and also our inner body functions slowly weakens. There is no surprise in it. Our body can be kept trim by regular yoga.