Six kinds of propositions:
1. Untrue, incorrect, not beneficial, and which is also unpleasant and disagreeable to others.
2. True, correct, not beneficial, and which is also unpleasant and disagreeable to others.
3. True, correct, beneficial, and which is also unpleasant and disagreeable to others.
4. Untrue, incorrect, not beneficial, and pleasant and agreeable to others.
5. True, correct, but not beneficial, and pleasant and agreeable to others.
6. True, correct and beneficial and also pleasant and agreeable to others.
which ones do you like speaking or writing? You might like to know which ones are suggested. You can get them here http://www.watphaitasom.com/dhamma_pdf_files/essentials.pdf on
Number 3 as the “usual” response style.
Number 6 only when it is necessary to give this information to the person and it is for a greater good (just as necessary medicine can taste unpleasant, sometimes someone needs to know something which will displease them).
Agreeableness is NOT wussy … it is the exercise of compassion, of caring about others. Always be truthful, correct, and as kind as you possibly can, even if what needs to be said is not pleasant. This benefits us in 3 ways:
1. Psychological: When we focus on caring about others, we decrease our own self-absorption. Self-absorbed people are unhappier and more prone to depression (both major and minor).
2. Spiritual growth: The spiritual path requires two endeavors: Loving-kindness/compassion and wisdom/method. Striving to be kind in your speech is one way of engaging in loving kindness.
3. Karma: to speak unpleasant and disagreeable truths when there is no benefit to the listener earns you bad karma … same to you, buddy, somewhere down the road. I personally don’t care to add to my suitcase of unnecessary strife.