First, realise the truth that there is no self. The brain generates our sense of self but the self is not an entity but a process. This concept was called Anatta by Buddha. Anatta means No Soul in the Sanskrit language. The soul does not exist and is only a myth. Secondly, realise that all living things experience suffering. Treat others as THEY would like to be treated, not as you would like to be treated. Try to balance self interest with the interest of others, in other words, be fair. Try the gradual approach as opposed to the wham bam! It can be done.
I can never get over your “self” completely. That final step is trying to see your eyes without a reflection.
1) Love. Love is the dropping of the walls between you and other aspect of reality. The accompanying elation and joy is your true nature revealed.
2) Seek God if you have even the slightest experience with the concept. Whether he exists or not is unimportant. It is a symbol of the All, man’s personification of Everything. Seek in every corner until you have no where else to seek.
3) Know yourself. Examine every aspect of yourself. Expect test results to change over time, as you see through more and more of what you thought was “you” and find is just a construct designed to deal with the contructs of other’s “Me”s.
4) Build a good life to aid you in your search. Even Buddha failed to find enlightenment through suffering, searching from there to find another way.
5) Giving up desires is like trying to ignore a white elephant sitting in the corner of your room. Better to acknowledge the desire, then associate it with the goal you have, then continue focus on the goal. Each time the desire reappears, Acknowledge, Redirect by Finding Connections Between the Desire and Your Primary Goal, and finally, return to Your Goal.
6) It is your goal. It is a desire. Leave it for last. When all that is left is the burning desire for God/Enlightenment, with no return, no blame, no other desires, then we’ll see.
7) It is easy to pretend, to fake this. Thus I left much out. Contact me. I’ll help if you want it.
8) Don’t pay anyone, or follow anyone. They have stopped on the road and now live off those who seek to pass them by, drawing people off the path to live off their vending of what they have found in their travels. Listen, and move past them.
Attaining buddhahood, no matter how you go about doing it, is actually beneficial to others because once you obtain buddhahood all those you are karmically connected to will be spiritually uplifted. If you’re concerned about being selfish, let go of those desires that make you feel selfish. To obtain buddhahood you have to be free of desires so by the time that happens you won’t have to worry about being selfish. Regarding compassion for all beings, try seeing yourself in them and having empathy and understanding for what others are experiencing.