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I recently have an English teacher who has been giving us (high school juniors) numerous lectures on philosophy and has had a significant change in my life. I’m scared that I comprehend this stuff too well for my age. I recently have dropped the ego I used to maintain and now I feel better than ever.

It’s just that things around me are getting worse, with my friends, my body, my self-esteem. I just realized how I don’t fit in with the groups of friends I have, I’m not really like any of them. I am sexually frustrated because I am gay and I am in love with one of my straight friends. I’m 16 years old and feel like I’m going through a mid-life crisis.

I also realized how much public school is confining me from learning the knowledge I am capable of knowing. I’m stuck in this awkward teenage highschool boy’s life and I want to move on already. I just finished The Alchemist by Paul Coelho and I feel like I found my personal legend and need to get out and pursue it.

I know of no one smart enough to give me answers to these problems. I feel silly posting this on the internet but I really need a serious response. Thank you.