I’ve read about Kundalini Syndrome-that if someone experiences a Kundalini awakening(Kundalini is the energy contained in a serpent-like coil at the spine at the 1st chakra and it can be moved up the chakras all the way to the crown-the 7th chakra at the top of the head. Doing that doesn’t cause an instant Kundalini Awakening though that’s a more involved process) without being prepared they can have some serious problems and that sometimes this happens spontaneously even to children in response to traumatic incidents including being born. I looked at my life and childhood and it seems to explain a great deal. Could a Meditation/Spiritual Teacher tell me for sure if I’m right?
I’ve always felt this very raw energy that I can just direct at things and immerse myself into things for long periods of time.
When I was a kid I distinctly remember getting freaked out from seeing a big green monster I thought was an alien after waking up. Could it just be a very weird dream or could it be a Kundalini Awakening? I know unprepared Kundalini Awakenings can sometimes have nasty side effects and my childhood was anything but easy or typical for that matter. I recognize what psychologists call post-conventional moral reasoning in very early childhood memories. But also had major problems with temper. This seems to be abating as I’ve learned to treat my emotions as alerts rather than part of myself, and not thinking of them as being positive or negative. I used to try to deny them thinking they’d just go away. That doesn’t work.
Even when I’ve been quiet, passive, timid as I was for most of my childhood I felt a strong energy inside me, a restless energy that wanted to get out, that wanted to do things. But I also felt too much anxiety most of the time to use it around people. As I’ve gained confidence in young adulthood people are starting to notice I’m like the opposite of who I was but personally I see it more as my real personality surfacing.
There was lots of depression. I’ve been dxd with OCD and Anxiety problems. Looking at my past it also could fit Asperger’s. Since that involves very long periods of intense focus and there are many meditations(the basic one is to focus on nothing but meditation can also be used to focus on single things) the argument could be made that people with Asperger’s/Autism are in a state of meditation when engaged in special interests. Could my problem really be that I’m in a constant state of meditation and still haven’t fully figured out how to direct and control it?
I can do weird things like closed-eye synesthesia and have been able to do this but didn’t recognize that this was anything out of the ordinary until recently.
Other things-When I was a teenager I decided to experiment to see if I could voluntarily hallucinate. And it worked. I made myself hear a commercial jingo in my head exactly the same way as if I had really heard it. I even asked my mom if she had just heard it and she said no. This scared me and I never tried it again because I was afraid I would lose control of the power to make myself voluntarily hallucinate and develop psychosis.
I also remember having lingering and intense thoughts about the dream lasting for several years, especially while I was heavily fascinated by aliens in grade school and even found myself wondering if it meant anything.
I also have a memory of a dream in early childhood where this older kid/teenager/young adult was standing at the top of the basement stairs. He was going to die and wanted me to save him. I bluntly told him “so what? everybody dies.” I only vaguely remember his appearance, but here’s what’s scary. He almost seems like he looked like me at an older age. Other than not remembering exact appearance the dream is bizarrely clear in my memory for dreams from that age. I’m not sure if it happened after or before the monster/alien dream.
Here, I have an awakened kundalini .. And luckily I have found a realized kundalini satguru who is willing to give guidance with one .. www.guruswamig.com ..
It’s only after I met the correct teacher that I realized what I was experiencing was an awakened kundalini .. What you said in your blog sounds like a confused mind trying to explain to one-self all the symptoms that can happen .. We try to reason it based on our limited understanding and hearsay .. The best thing to do is to find an authentic teacher who can give clear guidance to yourself wherever you might be … That will only help in an effective manner.. Depending on one’s own intuition for these matters don’t help in the end.. Find an actual realized being .. The help you get will be cherished for an entire life ..
Like you stated, the Kundalini is simply energy that resides inside of you. Many have considered it a life force of each individual, sometimes kind of like the soul or divine part of each person.
These are what are thought to be the syptoms of Kundalini awakening:
Involuntary jerks, tremors, shaking, itching, tingling, and crawling sensations, especially in the arms and legs
Energy rushes or feelings of electricity circulating the body
Intense heat (sweating) or cold, especially as energy is experienced passing through the chakras
Spontaneous pranayama, asanas, mudras and bandhas
Visions or sounds at times associated with a particular chakra
Diminished sexual desire or a state of constant orgasm
Emotional purgings in which particular emotions become dominant for short periods of time. Pressure inside the skull and headache
Bliss, feelings of infinite love and universal connectedness, transcendent awareness
Nightmares are not mentioned… And personally I think the idea of Kundalini has been made overly spiritual. Do I think that states of enlightenment can temporarily be reached? Yeah I am not doubting that according to MY definition of enlightenment. But to be fully enlightened and alive is not possible for anyone in our modern world. That is why things like this have died out in the west. I am not sure why you believe you have had Kundalini awakening based on nightmares. But Kundalini yoga / meditation is very useful for relaxation, focus, etc.