Home Discussion Forum To my golden Dawn, please critique?

To my golden Dawn, please critique?

Oh fair haired maiden
fancy your laughter I must
for you are my purpose
my trophy to wave
You love me despite my folly and short-comings
and act as a wise mentor with just a kiss
you illuminate the world, and they look with envy on
to what a lucky slob am I, to possess you
If a doctor’s prognosis, be grandeur
by a mere quack to the quirks of fate
I will drift in waves, and silent sunsets
and see you as an angel, with golden halo
Heaven need not authority
just a shade umbrella on a tropic beach
and you clad in a bikini and a smile
sipping fruit juice though a straw
Oh how the bitter would deny us
as they linger on their departed
and take their rage on the enlighten
saying we are not poets
Of course E.A. Poe heard this too
when his bells, those silver bells, sang
and his contemporaries claimed plagiarism
such is the world of the artist.


  1. “sipping fruit juice through a straw”
    is a very romantic line…
    I’m thinking peach.

  2. Awwwwwwwwww, very nice.
    Love the Reference to Poe’s “The Bells” one of my all time favorites.


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