Home Discussion Forum should I tell a secret about a cheating husband?

should I tell a secret about a cheating husband?

OK so I know of some information that Im not sure if it is my place to tell but it is still haunting me a bit and I need advice.
A really good friend of mine was involved with a married guy. She knows it was wrong and stupid and she DEFINITLY learned her lesson. She was really young and just got pursuaded into it and is now in therapy.
Now here is the story: The guy she was involved with, has a couple kids and is obvi married and the wife found out one day by looking in his computer. HE LIES to save his marriage and says that the girl (my friend) was stalking him and he wanted nothign to do with her but she sent him dirty emails. SO the wife said, well if she is crazy then tell the police, he does and pretty much tries to get my friend in serious trouble for harrassment. The charges were dropped bc my friend had info that clearly showed they were in mutual contact. I mean, this guy brought her to the home he lived in, told her I love you, the whole stereotypical nine yards. But his wife never found any of it out even in getting her name cleared.. I have all the email correspondences that he sent, bc I helped my friend make copies for her lawyer and she sent them to me. What I want to know: how wrong is it to send them to his wifes friend, who I know. This way, the wife will at least know the truth and it will come from her friend. Oh and my friend just wants it to all go away and wont talk about it anymore.
Is it very wrong? And will karma just sort all this out on its own anyway? Or should I give the wife’s friend who I also know, the emails her husband sent. – by the way some are of his privates. And yes the wife has no clue about it. She thinks he is a saint.
thanks. I know its not my business. I just feel for my friend bc he lied on affadavit about her and he basically got away with it. . The wife will not find out bc she just has the husband deal with things and they moved out of state after the whole thing. The wife does know they got together once (it was really over a year) and then thinks my friend went pyscho when he supposedly broke it off. she has no idea the extent of affair. Id agree and say, its not my biz. Thanks all


  1. It is none of your business, so keep out of it unless you are asked by the wife, in which case you don’t lie or asked by your friend, who says she doesn’t want to discuss it…..so leave it!

  2. Your friend slept with a married man. Now she is paying the price. She needs to get herself out of the mess. You should stay out of it. It will all go away eventually. Who cares what this guy thinks or what his wife thinks. He will cheat again and will get caught again. His wife is blind and will not listen to anyone. I doesn’t matter what you say to her she wants to keep her family together.

  3. You must do whatever your friend is comfortable with. I think she is now taking the high road and good on her! Yes, eventually Karma will kick in so don’t worry – what comes around goes around – every time!

  4. I’d say give it to the wife if you don’t think the guy learned his lesson. If he’s just going to go out and do this to his wife and another girl again, then stop it now. But, if you think he is done and won’t be cheating on her anymore, then let it blow over and know it was a mistake and they both learned their lessons. Good Luck!

  5. Let the husband’s lawyer tell her. The husband’s lawyer is REQUIRED to tell her. You are not.
    And I would ask your friend what she wants you to do before doing a single thing. It is her mess, not yours.

  6. Hello,
    I’m sure as much as she’d like to and may appear to others as if she does, the wife doesn’t think her husband is a saint. When she asks for the status on the charges she will find out they were dropped due to insufficient evidence. She may give her husband the benifit of the doubt this time (for the family’s sake) – but she will be on guard from this point on.
    It’s not your place to forward on private emails – especially if your friend just wants this to end.
    Just continue to be there for your friend, she is lucky to have you.
    Let buddy dig his own grave, which I’m sure he will.
    Take care & good luck

  7. It is not your business to tell on him. Give him a break. He was looking for some young new stuff and she was willing and able and wanted to do it. It takes two to tango under the covers. Don’t get involved.

  8. Giving the emails to the wifes friend is only opening up a can of worms that your own friend doesnt want to hash. As far as the cheaters wive goes, she knows exactly what she has; if she doesn’t then I would help her out with the emails. But I bet she won’t make a move toward divorce because she has to save face.

  9. Ask yourself this: Will it benefit ME in any way? If you gain no benefit from this other than settling a vendetta you have against him for wronging your friend then why would you do it? The only person(s) you will hurt are the wife and children. Mind your own business.

  10. I d give them to the wife so that she knew just how much of a lying cheating b@stard her husband really was…..its got nothing to do with you…..but everything to do with her being informed……so do it annonomously. cheers : )


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