HomeDiscussion ForumQuestion specifically for pastors and those who perform marriage ceremonies and to...

Question specifically for pastors and those who perform marriage ceremonies and to Catholics and all?

Is a marriage considered a sacrament and holy in the eyes of God if you were married at City Hall (by the state) and did not follow it up with a church wedding.
My parents were married 45 yrs (city hall, no church ceremony) and their union is “right with God”. How do I know? Because, in retrospect, and even today I witness the struggle they endured to be exemplary parents through years of crisis and my mothers infallible love of Jesus. They haven’t been to church in decades but the way they live their faith is so humble and so real, there is no screaming halleluya or jumping up and down and having your body literally shaking with the “spirit”, all there is is a quiet spiritual knowledge that transcends anything tangible.
My marriage is regrettably nothing like theirs and I didn’t have a church ceremony either. I believe the “sacrament” of marriage is in how you grow 2gether in love during those moments of joy and the character that’s built while fighting the inevitable challenges..
and that there’s not one human who can proclaim any marriage “holy” no matter what is in your particular denominations doctrine.
Abe – If their marriage is not real, then I don’t want a real one as many of those “real” ones end up in divorce.
Marysia – calm down please, I didn’t mean to offend you, I guarantee my parents could care less what religious label is put on them, they are too solid in their faith for such frivolity. You obviously have strict adherence to yours, may it serve you well.
Od Ephraim – lovely, thank you so much
Pastor Art – I agree and thank you!


  1. Marriage is simpler than man makes it. In Genesis Isaac took Rebekah into his tent, and she became his wife.
    No ceremony. No certificate. No state-created serial numbers.
    Ceremonies are fine, and I have conducted weddings, but the bottom line is that two become one. If you were united in city hall, that’s fine.

  2. according to the Catholic church they never received the Sacrament of Marriage.
    apparently that was ok with them, and that’s fine.

  3. Who are you trying to convince of what?
    You are using 1 thing…to prove/disprove another thing.
    Rearrange a couple of things and realize what you’ve actually learned and what actually proves what.

  4. The catholic church might have a different view, but my view is they have a legal marriage, were committed to each other. So they ARE married, period.

  5. You are confusing a good marriage with a holy marriage. Your parents have the first, but not the second.
    However, as long as they are good people, I doubt God will send them to hell over it.
    –I am just saying that, in the Church’s eyes, they are not married, so it is not a holy marriage. However, I am sure your parents are good people, and that’s what really matters anyway.

  6. Catholics distinguish between “valid” marriages and “sacramental” marriages
    All “sacramental” marriages are valid (obviously) but not all “valid” marriages are “sacramental”
    For a more precise definition, I suggest you contact the folks at Catholic Answers http://www.catholic.com : They are the experts

  7. Your parents are to be admired. “I’d rather see a sermon, than hear one, anyday.”
    And, I beg your pardon, but God joined my husband and me, and yes I believe our marriage is Holy. Doesn’t mean it’s perfect by any means, but what God did, had little to do with the church ceremony.

  8. the catholics are always looking for money and will stop at nothing even destruction of human flesh soooooo sad that cult is and very dangerous

  9. you sure hit that nail on the head!!… about the ‘sacrament’…. two people as good and loving as your folks could have just agreed together on a warm summer day to be together forever and they’d still have a marriage that could not be called anything but ‘holy’, in my opinion…. congratulate them for me, willya?…..

  10. If your parents want their marriage to be sacramental,why do they not have a little church wedding?
    Is there some impediment,like a former marriage?

  11. if that is how you believe and you are going to get up in arms and contradict anyone who asnwers what you asked — why did you bother asking?! this is not a debate board.
    i’m sorry your marriage is nothing like your parents. you should ask your parents how they made it work. i will bet some of it is – no arrogance or pride. there are often times when one person has to say – yes dear you are right – even though they are not 100% in agreement — it’s called a relationship where people work toward a common goal — compromise (common promise).
    as a CAtholic, no there marriage is not recognized but he church. since they are not Catholic they it really doesn’t matter to them now does it.

  12. Well in my opinion, I believe it is as real as any. Unless you can get Jesus to perform them personally then I would say that would be the only way.

  13. Real marriage is in the heart and sealed by the Holy Spirit.
    The act of sex comfirms your marriage vows.
    The traditions of religions are required. This was shown in the old testament/torah when a young women was in love with one man and was been force to marry another.
    To change the wedding oath she had to lay with the man she loved the night before her marriage.
    The church weddings are show and tell like water baptize.
    The wedding contract is for state.
    The uniting together in the eyed of is for.
    Stop make on the yoke of the church,if you choice to get marriage by the state,it is as holy as any other.
    Remember alot of church weddings to last and should have never taken plece either.

  14. Marriage is not considered a “Sacrament” in the Bible.
    Marriage is a covenant between one man and one woman.
    Most of what Roman Catholics call “Sacraments” are not Biblical.
    It goes not matter if you are married in city hall or before a justice of the peace or the Pope in a huge church wedding.
    What matters is how you related to your spouse after the honeymoon is over.
    Then again I’ve asked many couples, “Is the honeymoon over?” and as soon as they say, “Yes”, their marriage is in trouble.
    The honeymoon should never end.
    If your marriage needs help, seek a Biblical Marriage Counselor instead of a church ceremony.
    The links below will help you find a Biblical Marriage Counselor.
    Pastor Art

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