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opinions about my poem?

Lonely, dark infested nothing,
Cast aside from the grasp of life.
The box of emotions drained by the unforgiving hands of the Succubus,
Beat down and left unconscious of myself,
Standing hysterical, deteriorating.
Internally assaulted as the messiah makes me fluster,
Forced to retreat, subconscious actions prevail.
Left bewildered, destroyed by the game of love.
Tricked, defeated by the sorcery of the dark witch.
A witch, once a sweet angel mutated by selflessness.
‘How I love thee’
But betrayal generates a murderous blade which smites my soul.
Salvaged remains rescued, fixed together like the string of clues to a murder mystery.
Rekindled soul cast away from darkness, reborn and given new life.
This new vessel caresses my tortured soul,
Eradicates the witch, reinvents sorrow and turns my feelings pure.
it isn’t finished these are the first four stanzas how is it? is it bad?


  1. I think its good, i love ot wright poetry, maybe you should try to wright some more. I am trying to get a book together with mine


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