Need the opinion of fellow rap geniuses……?

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Are these 1st few lines good for my rhyme?
My infinite hypothesis workin like Stephanopoulos/
Sayin it how I see it truthfully, minus the politics/
Common sense, we lost it since we traded it for dollars and cents/
The benjamins have made us break away from our true essences/
Overrun with selfishness, the mirror’s where your effort is/
Compression of the soul makes for feelings of inner detriment/
Materialism got ya like a deadly spiritual pestilence/
(Pause, reset so my next rhyme flows properly)
Metaphysical medicinal properties that I’ve learned/
Like a modern witch doctor switchin’ rituals with words/
Shamanism in lyricism the schism is deterred/
Unifying fellow man one with the universe/
(I’ll post the finished rhyme later if you, the fans, recommend it. Thanks)

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lady dreadz.

i love your broad usage of vocab in this. really loving it

Afro Robot

love your lyrics man

swiftnibbler

nice volcabulary, however you will most likly never go mainstream if ur song were all that level. Its very hard to relate to. maybe cut back a tad, not alot, but a tad on huge words.
Otherwise ul most likly stay under ground. Hiphop has changed.
Def good tho but keep working on it. Write different versions on a song.
make one like his, and another with a lighter volcabulary and see peoples responses to each one.
It almost fels like ur trying to hard on this. thats all

ROS

You know i’m all for that kinda rhyming, vinnie paz and jus allah are among my favorite MCs, but i just cant see how that would sound out loud. On paper it looks good and somewhat intimidating but you can only take that so far. Just by looking at it i can tell there wouldnt be much a flow that can be created, and i’m just being honest.

nobody

better than most ive read. i recommend i post the finished rhymes.

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