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my spiritual journey?

this is for people who are interested in spiritual awakening, and if you are an atheist I have an alien conspiracy website you can go debunk (www.abovetopsecret.com), in addition I will not be responding to any comments because of the ignorant retorts that atheists like to dish out on here.

With that said, I was raised a Catholic but never really paid much attention to it all. In fact I hated catholic school more than anything else. It was horrifying. But anyway, that was a temporary phase, no one really believed that, and in college I started experimenting with drugs and such, but those didn’t really make me happy. In fact I was a bit depressed, not clinically or anything, because I kept it a secret, but if I had gone to a hospital and confessed my “sins” (small joke) they would have put me on medicine. But other than that I was appeared happy even though I was never really satisfied with my life. And then after the Iraq war started I noticed a lot of commotion going on in the religious area. I was never into politics but I could tell that the religious right were at it again. So I decided to look into some things on my own. During an english class we had to write about a religious topic, so I choose meditation. I researched meditation and tried it myself. Doing it for just a few moments, I realize that some of my addictive cravings subsided. I continued on with it, and started studying Buddhism. By that point I was hooked. I was amazed by Buddhism mostly because the goal of Buddhism was “enlightenment.” Never in my life had anyone mentioned this as a goal that could be reached. In my family life it was all about following rules, at school it was about getting good grades, and in college it was about getting laid. But with Buddhism, there was a new realm of wisdom and learning that never seemed like an option before. I immediately took to it and my depression was cured. For the first time in my life I was really happy. And I continue to be happy, six years later. I have my down moments, especially when I think about how backwards people in the world are, but I take solace in expressing my story and my spiritual values to people. I also found a book called the Consolation of Philosophy, which is great for beginners and offers a no nonsense course in metaphysics and spirituality, minus all the asserted doctrines. The baghavad Gita, the Hindu text, for example, is very passionate, but a little on the indoctrinating side. The Upanishads is wonderful, as well, but none explain things so clearly as the Consolation. I highly recommend it as well as the Upanishads. But other than that, I take great pride in telling my spiritual story to others. When I do it face to face with people, they can barely comprehend what I’m saying and usually don’t allow me to talk fully about it, which is why I come here. And unfortunately there are a lot of atheists who like to discredit people like me, but to each their own. So if you are out there and have been searching for something more, I highly recommend meditation.

that is all for now. peace.

7 Comments

  • I hope you won’t be offended if I suggest this, but had you thought about exploring the use of meditation and contemplation within Catholicism? There is a long tradition of such practices, which are aimed at opening oneself up to God and growing towards a state of loving union with Him.

    There are many tetxs you could look at, such as ‘The Cloud of Unknowing’, or the writings of the great mystics, such as St. John of the Cross or St. Theresa of Avila. If you explore a bit further, you might find that your love of meditation fits more comfortably with your cradle religion than you expect it to.

  • Thanks for telling your story. And its true that I have a very similar story, but unfortunately I haven’t been as strong as you have.

    My “spiritual” experiences have been powerful, but all but one of them has been very much NOT what I was told, as a Christian, would be acceptable.

    Once, I was very very scared, so scared I didn’t know how I would make it through the next hour. I asked Jesus for help and I got it. After that so much happened in my church, the one that I grew up in,that it just made me not want it anymore.

    Then I started paying closer attention to what I was told that a Christian was supposed to do and to believe. And I tried, but just could not twist myself into the convoluted knots I’d have to in order to believe them. That God would damn people who weren’t Protestant Christians, that I had to convince people that their faiths, ones that THEY grew up with, shared with their families, loved were of the devil and had to be given up in favor of mine. That everything in the Bible is Absolutely correct and historically accurate…I just could not wrap my head around it. So I forgot it. That version of God just scared me, I couldn’t see the good that everyone talked about, not in the things I was being told, so I just stopped thinking about it.

    But later, I had to be honest, I could live like an Atheist, but the truth was that I wasn’t. That experience that I had when I was afraid was very real. I couldn’t ignore it. So again, I tried to be a “good Christian” but by now the Christo-political thing was going and I just could not agree with it, and the things that were there before too.

    It wasn’t until the thought hit me that Christianity wasn’t God that I realized that I didn’t need to be a part of it to have God in my life. But that fear was still there.

    Even so I started tentatively looking at other faiths and found sense and beauty in many. Then I found Wicca and the idea of both a God and Goddess which made sense. Though Wicca wasn’t in the end for me, the idea of seeing God as both male and female was. But still there was that fear.

    Then one day I was in a great deal of pain, more than I’d ever had to deal with. I remembered the though of the nurturing and healing Goddess. I asked her for help. Had the thought to go outside where it rained on me for about a minute! But it helped, a LOT.

    Then I added meditation to my life. All of this helped me. But I was still scared and at one point rejected what helped me because that is what a “Christian” would do. And waited for what I was taught was “God” in my life. And it didn’t come. When I sincerely prayed and asked for God, one of these “Pagan” things would happen.

    So that’s where I am now. Trying to rid myself of the prejudice and fear that I was taught so that I can accept the gifts God has actually given me. Its good to see that someone has been able to overcome it.

    Thanks again and blessings (note I’d like to say Blessed Be, but you know)

  • I loved your story, and when they are that long I don’t usually read all of the text. Yours was not boring. It seems to me you have found a philosophy that you can hold to and have become much more comfortable in your life. I say I’m really happy for you.
    My husband was friends with a Buddhist monk when they lived near. He used to tell me of many of the philosophies he learned from that man. He was joyful when speaking of him. Mostly he took a lot of what he learned and applied it in his own life.

  • I applaud your strength. I’m happy you found what you were looking for 🙂

    Many people do not realize how wonderful it is to find your inner self.
    Thank you for sharing your story *S*

  • Thank you for sharing, though it was a bit long for a question.

    I’m pleased you have found your path and wish you well upon it. You should perhaps try blogging your experiences? As the answerer above says, you’d be surprised how many people have had similar experiences or will identify with what you’ve written. Including some atheists like myself.
    .

  • thanks for sharing your journey. I think yours is probably more common than we think. mine is very similar, I found enlightenment thru meditation allowing myself to know my true self. I too found that my addictive cravings subsided. I found a peace like no other and comfort within.

    Edit, I don’t know whether anyone looks back over the other answers given. Its nice to see the majority write from their hearts and personel experiance, that to me is proof of the divine or whatever name we use to explain what is most real to us.

    Jenettte, don’t fight it, meditate and relax and let it go. I had the same problem as you dealing with my Christian upbringing, when you find that light within, all darkness will dissipate, even a thimbleful of light will lighten an entire room.

  • No man can forgive your sins. Catholicism teaches a false gospel of works that cannot save (Galatians 1:6-9).

    You never met Jesus through all that. Jesus loves you so very much! 😀

    And believing in Jesus is the only way to be saved from being sent to eternal torment in hell.

    Salvation is a FREE GIFT that happens in a split second when you believe in Jesus! It is impossible to lose or “leave” salvation (John 6:39-40, 1 John 5:13).

    The truth about Jesus is that the only way to be saved and to get into heaven and avoid being sent to eternal hell, is by believing in faith alone that Jesus, who is God, died for our sins on the cross as FULL PAYMENT for all our sins, and then Jesus rose from the dead (1 Corinthians 15:1-4). Believe this and you will be in heaven, no matter what!

    Please pray now: “Jesus, please forgive me of my sins. I believe that You died on the cross for my sins and You rose from the dead. Thank You for eternal life!” You will be in heaven with Him forever when you die. 🙂

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