Home Discussion Forum My daughter has won a prize at school. What should I do?

My daughter has won a prize at school. What should I do?

I call myself a Taoist. I believe in simplicity, humility, ‘doing without doing’, and the pointlessness of ‘learning’.
Should I be proud of my daughter? Or should I be disappointed that she has not ‘shrunk from taking precedence’?
What do you think?
“Tao doesn’t call attention to itself…
It doesn’t strive for success.”
Tao Te Ching

24 COMMENTS

  1. What’s more important to you–you’re ideologies or your daughter’s love? She will be gravely disappointed if you’re not proud of her.

  2. Sorry but i wouldn’t like to have a mohter like you. If my mother didn’t take pride on the things I achieved in life I would very uspet.

  3. Congratulate and be proud of your daughter.
    There would be nothing worse for than to not be able to make you proud. It would end up in her thinking that nothing she does is good enough for you.

  4. Be proud of her. If she wants to learn, let her! How can you live and work without knowing anything? Going to school and learning new things will secure a good future for your daughter, so be proud of what she’s accomplished and let her know it!

  5. be proud of her and praise her. if you do not she will lose self esteem which is very damaging for young children.
    dont inflict your philosophies on her at sucha tender age.

  6. If she received the award because someone recognizes her achievement, then congratulate her. Just let her know that she should always strive for the greatness NOT for the award.

  7. What you have is a valid concern, but this can be an object lesson for her as well.
    Your concern is that she understands the importance of this concept, but at the same time you want your daughter to feel your support and encouragement. So, how can you do this in a way that does not compromise your beliefs.
    Think about your daughter and how she feels. What would help her in this situation?
    You have a daughter capable of doing something every well. There must be a way to tell her that you are pleased with her that will be meaningful to her.
    One word comes to my mind on this: self-efficacy.
    Look up that word, and I think that you can use her accomplishment as a way to help her learn this important trait.

  8. YOU are the Taoist …not your daughter….these things are for her to experience …..i respect your beliefs but allow her to be herself; i understand as a parent you are responsible for her until she reaches adulthood but she has the right to experience different aspects of life these may include being rewarded for something she has done…give her the opportunity until she can make the decisions for herself… yes be proud!
    peace@love=0)

  9. know that you child is not you. grant her independance of mind. just like she respects your personal choices, respect hers. she has done well. she deserves your acknowledgement. she also deserves a cuddle and some money. lol

  10. You are not alone in this incidence, it involves your daughter also.
    So keep your ism upto yourself and do not impose it on your daughter.
    I think, you should try to make her happy with all your simplicity and humility.

  11. I’d say congratulate her.
    And you say ‘pointlessness of learning’, what exactly do you mean by this? Learning is extremely important. The very act of survival requires learning. How can one continue to live without learning from ones mistakes? How can the human race continue to progress both physically and technologically if we do not learn?
    Oh, and congratulations to your daughter for winning. I’m sure she dissevered it.

  12. celebrate the joy of her success
    without being noticed the toist masters would not of been known.
    the trick is to live accept and move on without attachment to the good or bad things this is why the Taoist Masters were known and became famouse not becouse they saught it but were.

  13. Ok, you’re taoist and no doubt bringing your daughter up the same way but she is still a child and children need to be nurtured and encouraged like small seedlings. She needs positive input from you. You can encourage your child and show her that you are pleased that she has gained an award for working hard at school. You will not be puffing her up with pride, you will be affirming that you love her and that you are interested in what is going on in her life.
    Your daughter didn’t draw attention to herself, she was rewarded in a positive way for working hard at school.

  14. Im sure your child is not continually seeking affirmation about her self-worth…
    Your child intelligence of varying degrees was marked out by her school as a student with great potential…
    Let your praise be sincere and free from evaluation…
    Appreciate the whole range of qualities that exist within your child!

  15. dont ruin your daughters life my making everything about your religion; and remember it is YOUR religion and not necessarily hers. dont turn every little thing into a philosphical debate. if you dont show your daughter that you’re proud of her for winning things, she’ll grow up with very little self-worth.

  16. Be proud of her accomplishment and praise her. Now is probably not the time to make her feel bad about accepting a prize. Now is the time for praise and encouragement.

  17. Take the whole family out for a dinner as a family gathering,
    a simplest way of gratitudine.
    Furthermore,when the stomachs are full,everyone would be happy.

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