Moms, have you written your letter to Santa???

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I thought this was so cute! Sorry Dads, it said moms at the bottom and I didn?t change it. But you can substitute Dad in there if ya want! Hope it makes you all smile like I did!
Dear Santa,
I’ve been a good mom all year. I’ve fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor’s office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son’s red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I’ll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I’d like a pair of legs that don’t ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don’t hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.
I’d also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
If you’re hauling big ticket items this year I’d like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn’t broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, “Yes, Mommy” to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don’t fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recordi n g of Tibetan monks chanting “Don’t eat in the living room” and “Take your hands off your brother,” because my voice seems to be just out of my children’s hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.
If it’s too late to find any of these products, I’d settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.
If you don’t mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leav e your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don’t catch cold.
Help yourself to cookies on the table but don’t eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always,
MOM…
P.S. One more thing…you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa

8 Comments

  1. Ah, that is not me. I only have one child and she’s folding laundry right now while I goof off on the internet. (She’s owed me a favor.)
    But it is my friend with 5 children to a “T”. She asked me to come over and help her make dinner a few days ago. She’d had some dental work and was groggy. Within an hour, I was ready to curl up in a ball and weep. The chaos was maddening! Dogs, cats and kids were everywhere! They were like back talking spider monkeys. It was as though the sensed my weakness or smelled my fear. She thinks this is fun. She’d have more kids, if they could fit them in the house. What an adrenaline junkie! When the kids grow up and move out, I bet she takes up base jumping as a hobby.

  2. This is great. Reminds me of ,y daughter-in-law. Only can increase the number of little ones to four. They are a handful even when I help of an evening. The second oldest boy wrote his own letter back in Oct. when the new Lionel catalog came it. He took it out and put it in the mailbox himself to make sure it got sent.

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