Home Discussion Forum Let's talk about love folks and our societal and cultural definitions of...

Let's talk about love folks and our societal and cultural definitions of it?

by helpful:

Is love a feeling or a committment? Something special for you or a promise to others?
I ask because I find that people sometimes have a hard time accepting love for fear of the cost – whether that be committment, time, energy. Love is supposed to be healing, but how can it heal those unwilling to receive, due to our own societal connotations on the word love (i.e. a man and a woman who love must want to marry or be somehow responsible for the other in some way)?

Answer by Averell A


  1. Nothing to be afraid of.
    I am here to get this right, then I get to go home.
    A long time ago I thought that love was something that you reserved for some special set of people that you had judged worthy of it.
    After a while I got to thinking about what Jesus had said about turning the other cheek and loving our neighbor I put the two together and realized that he had made no exceptions in these statements. It became obvious to me that he intended that we exclude no one from the love that we are supposed to be giving. I started thinking about my idea of love and suddenly realized that I had not been loving anyone at all. I had simply been judging everyone and every thing.
    Judging someone worthy of love is not love, it is only judgment. I actually started to cry when I realized this. I saw just how much of my life I had wasted being judgmental, thinking of myself as a Christian, when I was actually doing just the opposite of what Jesus had asked us to do.
    I thought about the verse judge not lest ye be judged, and I understood it for the first time.
    I realized that I have a lot of catching up to do. So many opportunities were wasted. I now try to apply the love that I have for the world in a universal way like Jesus asks us to do.
    If I start to feel afraid and think that I see someone that I should not love because of something I have thought or heard I try to catch my mistake as soon as possible. I tell myself that I have forgot the truth and have fallen for the same old trick that had cost me so many opportunities to be loving in the past. The horror of this realization is often all that is necessary to bring me back to my senses and make me drop the judgmental nonsense I was thinking.
    I still have a lot to learn about love, but at least I’m making progress.
    Love and blessings
    Your brother

  2. You must be willing to recieve the love of Christ to gain salvation. You must also be willing to follow him if he calls.

  3. More times than not, love is a decision one makes.
    It’s when the wants, and needs of another mean something to you. The more you love them, the more their happiness means to you.
    There are different grades of love, and lust has NOTHING to do with love.

  4. Both, and a choice. You can choose to fall in or out of love with a person, an idea or concept. And you are right somewhat about the fear aspect preventing love. Human nature is to be in control, giving up partial control is required for relationships to work. That, in my opinion, is why many reject God.

  5. Love is a feeling which, as coded by our society, requires various commitments. For example in our society it could mean comitting to monagomy, where in some other society sex “could” be allowed outside of the relationship so it would not be a commitment (don’t know if it’s true but it was in a famous movie, “The Savage Innocents,” that Eskimos shared their wives and were insulted if you didn’t accept the offer).

  6. I think there is a certain amount of confusion about love in our society. Many think it is just a sexual act. It means commitment. That can be inconvenient, because it can cause pain, the death of a police officer, a soldier, or supporting an unintended child, treating an enemy with justice rather than with revenge. I do not know how, but it does heal. Love is a life journey. It is not just one act. For the fireman who gives his life, his death is the culmination of a life of love. Some times a police officer sees so much crime that he begins to believe that everyone is a criminal. When this happens he has lost his way.

  7. Perhaps it is the fear of loss of control, fear of building up love at the risk of it someday being taken away, or the fear of giving up of oneself for another that keeps love at bay for many. I believe that if Love can be redefined, it can be very helpful.
    I have been told that the definition of love is the “desire to extend oneself on behalf of another” but I resist that. To me, love is a feeling – the best feeling in the world – and it is inspired by something special, be it a person, a food, a place or any number of things.
    We get that feeling about a person, and very often times we do what we can to keep that feeling alive. Some people think that means going down the “relationship path” from Like, to Like-like to Love & Committment, as tradition dictates. I suggest it means maintaining who you are and the circumstances that allow your own personal love to flourish and grow – to what? I do not know. Often times, the destination is not as important as the journey.


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