Home Discussion Forum Just in my opinion? very intriguing topic. read!?

Just in my opinion? very intriguing topic. read!?

Today I attended a retreat for all people in my grade where we discussed sexuality, abstinence and chastity. I found it quite interesting at times, and there were many facts and messages that were being conveyed. One in particular I am thinking about was “ In older generations media conveyed messages about sex being off limits and now the media is saying that it is okay.” This was a seemingly unimportant statement at the time, but as I grew bored of what was being said at the time, my mind drifted to this statement.
I found it peculiar that the speakers kept on emphasizing how media plays such a huge role in shaping young minds, and how the media of these days is conveying all the wrong messages. How the media of the “good old days” conveyed the better message. This got me thinking on how really if you look at these statements it all boils down to the media, in particular the “media’s” rendition of all things. When I consider this, the media is brainwashing us to think and act the way it tells us to, my grandparents and possibly my parents were strongly influenced by things they read and saw on television. The message being, of course, sex is one big “no.” This led to a generation of stricter more chaste people. Somehow in between these two different generations the media’s approaches shifted creating a much different set of youth. My generation is being told that sex is okay, that everyone does it. Of course the older generations frowns upon this and tends to shove their ideals down our throats. But think about it, where did they get their ideals from? Where do I get my ideals from? There is one obvious answer to these questions.
The media dominates our world, and influences people so much. The media has caused beliefs to shift over time creating generation gaps. Why is it though that I have to listen to some one telling me over and over why sex is so wrong. Now do not let me mislead you, I am not trying to find a loophole or reason why people should go and toss away their virginity. I just believe that all these beliefs stem from what, for a better way of describing this power source, I shall call “the man.” Why can I not create my own ideals, why must I have to put up with such mixed messages, is it not too much to do as you believe, or does there always have to be a man behind the curtain.
I wonder in a world where so many people’s opinions are thrown at me, where is my own? I think that I should be able to say when I believe I am “ready.” I act on my own, with no influence but my own personal awareness and knowledge of what is correct. This ideal changes from person to person, so I think that instead of being bombarded by messages by the media we should all follow our own personal, spiritual and sexual path, without outward interference.


  1. In my opinion, the most unbiased and most natural ‘belief system’ was that of the primal days, where natural instinct was the only thing that influenced our behaviors. Back when there was no communication to express complex and abstract ideas like we have today.
    But in today’s day and age, it’s not just the media that has influenced your way of thinking, or your beliefs. It’s EVERYTHING that you have observed, heard, learned, etc. It’s called enculturation…where your every experience shapes who you are as a person.

  2. The statistics indicate that Abstinence is not working. 88% of True Love Waits signers have premarital sex anyway. They need a scapegoat to blame this on, so they pick the media. The real issue is the delay in marriage. Older generations often got married shortly out of high-school, now people don’t get married until their mid or late 20s and hardly anybody is a virgin at that point.
    Media has always been sex driven, older shows were just less explicit, but used a lot of innuendo. I’d tell you to ignore the people who were telling you that crap and make smart choices that make sense for you and your relationship.
    I used to go to conservative churches that teach that abstinence crap, and I learned that the leaders of these churches actually crack jokes about 30 and 40 year-old virgins behind their backs. Now I just send my Christian friends to the site below which debunks the whole thing against premarital sex in the Bible. It covers same-sex lifestyles too. I hope it helps you.

  3. It is easy to point the finger at the media but we have to remember that media moguls (with rare exceptions) follow the bottom line. So they only provide what you, the public will buy. Stop watching or listening or reading the stuff and it will disappear. The problem is to get enough people to do that. You can do it in your own life. My late wife and I, in order to spend time on strengthening our marriage, stopped taking the newspaper and watching television (except for Jeopardy!) for two years.
    The media has not caused beliefs to shift, they have reported on those shifts. And they have been able to expand their coverage to topics that were unthinkable in my childhood because we, the people, have allowed the changes in law that were required for that to happen. By the way, in my day the media, there were only newspapers and a fledgling radio presence (I am 73), did not say sex was off limits. The more conservative papers did not mention the subject at all and the Sunday tabloids were full of what was actually being practiced in some circles. The topic of sexual conduct was left to the churches and lawmakers (condoms were still illegal when I was a boy and the pill was not yet invented). This meant that there was a very great possibility of pregnancy, which tended to cool things a bit.
    You have to remember that the sexual revolution is still being played out. Women achieving the vote, getting some of the rights that men have, being able to work outside the home (ask some older mothers what living in the ‘burbs was like!), the availability of effective contraception, have all destabilized the old way. Not that any of that was bad it is just in the nature of things. The challenges lie in sorting through all that is happening and making your own path, as you are beginning to do. Children are notorious for not listening to their elders (I didn’t …my mother was right in advising me not to marry my first wife!) and they tend to go for the glittering baubles of popular opinion; carried in the media of course. This is a part of nature ….and sexually it keeps the gene pool stirred up. Now that I am one of those old people I try to steer the young ones to a way of life that will bring them happiness and, hopefully to avoid the mistakes that I made.
    You will get your ideals from inside you, as a normal part of maturation. We arrive here knowing much but very little of how to function in the world and so we rely on those older that us to give us guidelines. As we grow we develop our own understanding, asking questions (Religiously doubt is the beginning of faith) reasoning things out and then coming to our own values and opinions. I love the present chaos because it opens up such great horizons for humanity. There is beauty in chaos …look at fractals.
    I wish you well as you make this epic journey, just be sure that the choices you make cause no harm to yourself or others.


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