About 3 years ago, me and some friends decided to play with a Ouija Board, which at the time I had no idea about. During this event I had supposedly been claimed by this spirit who went by the name GRAIL. I began asking questions involving my death and other stupid questions. This so called spirit had then told me I was going to burn to death in two years prior to this event. After this I went on living my life fine, not ever really believing what this board had said. Then, a year before my supposed foretold death, I went to this party at the same house that I had played this Ouija Board. Now this certain night, I ended up dropping 3 hits of LSD. The thing that was weird is that my whole life, I have always had second thoughts on this drug, but that night there was no thinking, I just did. On my trip, we ended up leaving the party and driving to my friends. we parked in the drive way and sat. While sitting my friend eventually convinced me that I had just died in a car accident on the ride to my friends place. Thats when I went into an extreme state of mixed emotions and fearful thoughts. During the time I had pictured my death in a vehicle and could actually see the emergency crew cleaning up the wreck site while my eyes were engraved into the ground. All of this convinced me I was dead, and all I could think about was how much I Wasn’t ready to go. After the death scene I ended just having a casual fry. After all this, as months passed I then played with this board again, this time really convincing me I was going to die before the end of 2007, with now the thought of it being a car wreck, cause of the LSD. about a week before the end of the year I had managed to convince myself otherwise which I believe actually saved my life. Once 2008 hit, I had a whole new perspective on life and things got really good. I was appreciating everything in life and about it. I no longer judged and finally felt whole and referred to it as seeing the light(seeing the better in life). Then on a certain night, I was under the influence of THC,or weed, something inside me had then told me that I was going to win the lottery which had brought great sensation to me. Now, I must add that My whole life I had went without ever thinking about the lottery, just so you know Im not some greedy bastard who thinks money is happiness, cause I knows that In fact the opposite of happiness. So I ended up focusing all my energy on this, trying to figure it out, always trying to find the answers, WHEN, and HOW MUCH. I then thought I had come across the answer in my head and was so convinced that I had actually told all my friends. The day had come and I didn’t win, making all my friends and some family assume I’m crazy. This at first had an affect on me convincing me I was crazy. but only lasted for about an hour, then I knew I wasn’t I was just speaking my mind. But then I soon came to realize that I was missing big points out of all this, or thats what I believe anyways. I mean I believe that I’m not crazy, I just wanna know of this all means something big, or if it was to help me with my fears. And it seems like I’m always going from One set of beliefs to the next all the time until I reach a point where I feel most comfortable. I really just wanna know if taking this chemical man made substance fucked everything up for me, or if it has truly done good for me. I hope you can at least help me in some of these areas if not all. I think I am just very spiritually confused right now and I am hoping you might have some answers. Thank you if you read this and I hope to hear from as soon as you can.