I'm having a spiritual crisis…?

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I’m out of money til tomorrow, and I’m out of cigarettes now….I’m already getting that all too fresh feeling in my lungs. Must Have Nicotine. Is whoring yourself out for cigarettes technically considered prostitution?

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Mr. Owl, PhD

Somebody call Marlboro Man!

Saint Luy Kid

Technically, yes. Is it wrong? No.
Is it extremely erotic….why yes, yes it is.

Ojoalvirus

It’s considered creativity.

al∞mega

In the recent past such social intercourse was actively encouraged

Wicked Witch of the West

Come here little boy…….come and get the nice cigarette……….
(Insert evil cackle here)

Stephan P

Can I save this if another atheist tries to say addiction are perfectly fine/safe?

Star Gazer

Well, that sucks, but it’s better than having midlife crisis.

CinnamonGirl69er

I can mail you some cigs, but dont think they would make it to you by tomorrow… well how close to Texas are ya?
You could use the “temporary insanity” clause if you get busted
They do say nicotine is more addicting than heroine.
Best of Luck!!
Cinn =)
LOL @ Mid life crisis and LOL @ call Marlboro Man.. he will hook you up so long as you smoke Marlboro’s or at least say ya do

Tag23

Talk about a cheap whore.

puddles

yes, technically.
i’ve done it few times for other things

Hannah S

I used to flash people for cigarettes…no need to go full whore, just give them a lil taste 😉

Burning Question

Yeah its prostitution, but what the hell…

Like a Fox

How much is a pack of ciggies worth to ya?
If your a good little whore i’ll give a pack. XD

NewlyBorn

Some prostitutes are considered holy and righteous… it all depends on how well you perform…
You probably heard the name of “SLAUGHTER HOUSE RELIGION” given to Christianity. ALL Christians need to snack God the Son Jesus Christ in some way as part of the “salvation” package. Jesus talked about eating his meat and drinking his blood to go to Heaven when you die!
John 6:53 (KJV) Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you (DUCK!), Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man* (*Jesus Christ), and drink his blood, ye have no life in you.
It takes years of Christian and Catholic Bible schooling to learn how to do it just right like the Clergy says or Christians can get real sick and die! Protestants have relaxed this warning, but Catholics still believe that the Host* (*wafer) and Wine is magically transformed into the ACTUAL Meat and Holy Blood of Jesus so in some parishes extraordinary measures are taken after Mass to monitor that no trace of the body of Jesus Christ is found in any spent chewing gum stuck under the Church pews! I AM NOT KIDDING!
1 Corinthians 1:29-30 (KJV) For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body. For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep* (*have died… hey… this is a Holy truth for the low IQ Christians who are sick! They are screwing up the Holy Communion… spiritually speaking, of course!).
The NT Bible writers say that most of the Jewish followers of Jesus wouldn’t stomach so much grossness and quit following him. They actually wrote that Jesus’ flesh was beaten to a pulp thoroughly tenderized and heavily marinated in Roman soldiers’ spit as the dignified “spotless Lamb of God taking away the sins of the world” while grotesquely hanging totally naked nailed to a Holy Cross! There is no historical record whatsoever that the Roman soldiers ever dressed any of their victim’s genital area in a white diaper before hanging them on any cross no matter how holy! In fact, there is no record that the Romans crucified anybody in Jerusalem outside of the Bible record, either. The Romans were much better known for IMPALING their victims driving a thick pole into their rectum and forcing them to stand on it until after a few days later when the pole would reach the heart or lungs killing the victims by their own body weight! Jesus hardly suffered a sissy man’s death hanging down from his 2 nailed hands that can’t possibly hold him hanging in there for more than a few minutes! Christians are brainwashed to believe that crucifixion is about the most tormenting death ever invented! Not so! Impalement can be a real pain in the @ss! God the Son Jesus Christ was able to conduct a long heated conversation with his peers on the other 2 crosses, with some of the guests at the crucifixion site, and with the Roman soldiers that crucified him! This fact alone proves that only a bunch of wanking perverts could have possibly dreamed up a Holy Cross religion like Christianity! 500 years ago the Protestants wised up and removed the hanging body from the Holy Cross to avoid silly questions. Only Catholics still display a dead body on the Holy Cross. Today ALL Christians and Catholics ACTUALLY snack on Jesus’ spit flavored Meat and drink his Holy Blood in the Sacrament of the Holy Communion to go to the Bible Heaven when they die spiritually speaking, of course!
The wanking Bible writers have this God rewarding people committing the most heinous crimes as long as they do it to further God’s Holy causes! They came up with bloody criminals like Moses, Samson, King David, Saint Paul, and so on. Even the King James Version of the Bible promotes the killing of infants in its fullest CONTEXT! Most Preachers on the low end of the IQ scale claim that the Bible is full of parables and that it can’t be taken literally… short of seriously! It takes many years of schooling and practice to become a professional preacher! They ALL know how to cover up, give thumbs down and explain away anything objectionable in the Bible! Making a statement that it was dictated by a “God” who claims to be full of wrath puffing fire coming out of his nostrils all the time that he gets mad is an insult to anybody with a respectable IQ!
Psalm 137:8-9 – O Daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction, happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us – he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.
The Bible teaches that the enemies of God ought to be killed in their infancy when it is easier to get rid of them (Amen?)! The old Bible strategy of birth control is not abortion, but the killing of infants AFTER THEY ARE BORN and before they grow up and become a menace to God’s chosen people developing WMD or what have you that not even God can defeat! (Judges 1:19)
Revelation 2:23 (NIV) (Jesus Christ says in his apocalyptic REVELATION for the last days) I WILL STRIKE HER CHILDREN DEAD* (*Just for the heck of it! No abortionist can beat Jesus at killing babies! (Amen?!) This time it is Sweet Jesus killing the innocent children to announce his 2nd coming and at the same time to teach everybody in the Churches a lesson on WHO IS THE BOSS! In our society today Jesus would be in jail for promoting the KILLING OF CHILDREN to favor a particular religion. That’s why the Preachers are so selective in what they teach from the Bible! They came up with the PRO-LIFE bit on their own to dissociate themselves from this REVELATION, and from the routine slaughtering of children including your own children in the Bible, and what’s even grosser yet about cooking and eating them for dinner! All this forced on God’s chosen people for his Holy pleasure! Christianity is a slaughter house religion! The Bible writers were very creative about how to call religious people’s attention!) Then ALL THE CHURCHES WILL KNOW that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds.* (*Christians may expose the Mafia, but they surely LOVE JESUS! And they cover up for his murderous wantonness! “The sweetest story ever told” is sheer religious scam!)
The story of Jesus was written long after he died (if he ever existed!). Christians claim that he was the greatest religious teacher ever known in the world. Jesus suggested the slaughter by drowning in the middle of the sea of anybody causing a Christian who is a moron in the Faith to stumble (Mat 18:6). He also suggested the voluntary shedding or dismembering of offending body parts like an eye, arm, leg or what have you to follow him (Mat 18:8), including male castration (Mat 19:12). Saint Origen one of the most prominent Early Church Father and Theologian castrated himself! They had the guts of doing anything to make it into the Kingdom of Heaven! Low IQ Christians are willing to comply without any hesitation! Most Christians today don’t pay attention to Jesus Christ’s gory suggestions, but throughout the Christian dominated DARK AGES some prominent clergy persons castrated themselves for the “Kingdom’s sake!” They were “DOERS OF THE WORD” not just politically motivated Christians like today!
Christian Americans had many “witches” and slaves abused and slaughtered here in this ONE NATION UNDER GOD just for the heck of it! (Google “Salem witches” and “castration” in Wikipedia!) Even Jesus says in perfect King James English, “Thou shalt know the truth and the truth shalt set thee free!” It took me a while, but I am set free from religion after faithfully “serving the LORD” for many years! I am an ex born again Christian Fundamentalist Independent Baptist minister very close to the Westboro Baptist Church family. My thoroughness in Scriptural support is beyond what Christians use to make Christianity to function! They poach a few verses here and there to show that “God is love” and that “Jesus died for you.”

Celes

Ewww, why would you want lung-caner-in-a-box when you could take a bite out of a thick-smoked Gouda with a TRICK JAW?
That Gouda would be me thank you very much!

Ashamed of Gravity

Dude I so totally know how you feel, it suck @$$ to be without smokes. Just see what Phoenix could do for you.

Cassie

I’ll tell you what…
If you and Phoenix agree to a three-way, I will take you to 7-11 and buy you as many packs as your heart desires.
Deal?

bigA

When this happens to me, I just go to sleep lol

Catholic To The Max

Why hasn’t MM answered this question yet?
🙂

BellaAurore333

I would not call it a spiritual crisis, however, I am a smoker and I know the desperation you are feeling!! Maybe, have a friend front you the money? Or I live in a complex…I have gone around to all the menthol smokers and asked for one and one and so on! If I could I would give you a pack…no problem! :/ Been there…feel for you. 😀 GOOD LUCK!

Instant Star Just Add Coffee

Naw, come on over and bring Phoenix. I’ll be happy to supply the cigarette’s…. and anything else.

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