This sounds really strange (and long) , but I’ve done research about the ‘real vampire community’ and realized I sound kinda like people’s descriptions of psychic vampires (who drain people’s energy, not their blood). I’m a 14 year old girl, but that doesn’t automatically mean I’m some rabid twilight fan. But I have some reasons that I might (and might not) be a psychic vampire.
1. I have a 5 year old brother, and we’re pretty close, but when I’m in a certain mood just being around him makes him scream. I can just look at him, or say something totally innocent, and he starts crying. And when he’s all emotional, it makes me physically feel better, like hyper and energized. That sounds horrible, but I really do love my brother. I have to consciously stop myself from making it worse or pushing him over the edge (I know just what to say, but I don’t).
2. My mom. She’s really sensitive to people’s body language and what they think of her, and apparently being around me just pisses her off. It’s totally irrational. She keeps telling me not to look at her or stand there doing nothing in the same room as her, it gives her the creeps like ‘something’s sitting on her soul’.
3. My friends. Really, I have only 2 good friends. One I spend a bunch of time with and one I don’t. The one I’m always around has changed dramatically in the past few years. She used to be energetic and popular, but started having panic attacks (mostly around me) and being always tired. She hasn’t had a single panic attack since she started going to a different school.
The other friend and I have weird control issues: she leads me around everywhere and pets me like a puppy, but really she’s dependent on me: She’s really afraid of losing me and keeps complimenting me about really random stuff. Both of my best friends consider me their only real friend.
4. Everyone else. In school I’m considered a loner and a weirdo. Other people besides my mom have said that I give them the creeps.
Now, some reasons why I think I’m NOT one:
1. When I was little I was obsessed with media vampires. At 7 years old I convinced my self that I was one of those. And bit people. Not fun.
2. I’m kind of a paranoid person. I used to think I had a bunch of weird diseases, now is this the new form of it?
3. The only reason I found out about psychic vampires is that when I was 12 I thought I was Otherkin. I was sure that I was a cat in a previous life, and this belief made me subconsciously act more like a cat, which almost stopped when I stopped believing that. I think it was psychosomatic, and this might be too.
4. I’ve tried to consciously drain energy from people and didn’t feel anything strong enough to really convince me it worked. (felt really stupid though).
So, sorry this was so long, but what do you people think? (yes or no answers accepted, I won’t freak out at anyone for saying i’m not one)
Some people use ‘psychic vampire’ as an insult, but to others its just a description of themselves. I don’t really WANT to be one, but the name doesn’t insult me either.
Ya know, I’ve realized I sound like a huge hypocrite in the first ‘additional detail’. I’m saying that I don’t want to be a psychic vampire, but seeming to assume that I am one. Just forget I wrote anything.
And yeah, I sound a bit crazy. I still do want to know, though. I can’t just forget about it. Should I repost or delete this question?