Home Discussion Forum I need a boost from a true Broken Heart?

I need a boost from a true Broken Heart?

Broken Hearted and Need some More Advice?
I need some advice and understanding on how to get over someone that did something so cruel. I was married for 4 years, yes a little rocky, I never hit her or anything like that, her family and I did not get along. She has narcolepcy and we moved to chicago where my family is from florida. Then one day came and I was rushed to the emergency room and they found I had a brain anurisym and it was starting to rupture. They told me I needed emergency surgery but being that my wife had narcolepcy, I didnt want her to come back and forth from the hospital and with no help. I was worried about her, so I discharged myself from the hospital against the doctors orders and drove her and myself back to florida, where she has family and I was made to believe that we would have more help there. Her sister recently divorced and was texting her alot telling her she wished that my wife was single so they could have it like it was long ago, by going out and big plans. Anyways 3 days before my surgery in florida, she left me. I went and had surgery and when I got back home, I was served with a restraining order and then on christmas eve divorce papers. I am back in chicago now and doing better. They gave me a 5% chance to live and I did it fully and 100% perfect. But I am so missing her and cant get her out of my mind and I dont know what to do anymore because I know she wasnt right. I sit here feeling worhtless, I put on some weight because I wasnt able to do anything for the last 8 months while recovering. I sit on the computer hoping she comes on on emails me or calls and nothing. Please give me advice, I feel so lost without her even though all she did. I know there are two sides to every story and I was not perfect. But I always took care of her and I always provided for her and I always loved her. I put my own life on the line to make sure she was safe and back home incase something happened to me. Now she doesnt ever call, she changed all her numbers, she emailed me once telling me to move on with my life. I never hit her, yes I did call her some names in times of heated fights of hurt. But even if I wasnt inlove with someone or we grew apart, never would I leave someone I once loved like I was left. Am I wrong for still loving her and missing her? I am so down in the dumps and my life really feels over. Nothing makes me happy anymore, I sit here all day and night wishing, praying and hoping for a mirracle and people think Im nits because the way she left me and then to do all she did while I was trying to recover. I never got a normal clear chance to recover. It was and still is the hardest thing I have ever been through and all alone to boot. I undersatnd all you all are saying and I thank you, but it is so hard for me, she never gave me any type of closure that I so desperatly need. After all to me she was my wife, my life, my world and my love. I put my life on the line for her to not even look back and do this, who could do this to another person, I will never understand. By the way I am now 41. I was also wondering does Karma really happen????? I am just curious seeing the way she left me and carried on with her life between her and her sisters fun and games and to act like I never meant anything at all. And to think I was her husband and to me that meant the world.
Wisen smart, to be honest with you, it sounds like you have had some men issues to say anything like that about my situation. The restraining order was placed because her family told her to make a restraining order or they would disown her, second of all at court it got dropped because she lied about everything to get the temporary injunction. But thanks for the advice. LOL

5 COMMENTS

  1. You have to face the fact that you blew it and must take full responsibility for the consequences. Once you learn that, you will be o.k.
    For some reason I do not feel sorry for you. In order for a woman to place a restraining order, you must have really mentally abused her which is as bad and as painful as a beating. A woman just does not leave overnight because she was on the rag. You said it yourself, there is always two sides to each coin and you are showing your side only.

  2. If you haven’t already, I would write her a letter. A hand-written letter would be best. Tell her exactly what you wrote her. That you know you were not always perfect, but you feel so lost without her. That you always took care of her and always provided for her and always loved her and still do. Let her know that you put my own life on the line to make sure she was safe and back home in case something happened to you. Let her know that, if there is any way in which you need to change, that you are willing to change for her — even willing to get counseling if that is what she so desires. Let her know that she was your wife, your life, your world, and your love. If you need to, tell her you have done a lot of growing up since your ER incident.
    Tell her that you would love to hear from her and include your phone number and email address, just in case she really did delete them.
    Ask her politely and kindly to please let you know one way or the other — one last time — if there is a hope for your future or if it’s really over and you need to move on.
    I wish you the best.
    Good luck!
    ps – you are not foolish to still love her. Did you not promise in your wedding vows to love…until death?

  3. i am so so glad you recovered. yay! you will get over this gal when you busy yourself with others. there are myriad websites for dating and companionship and friendship, get busy buster and make some friends.
    we all want what we cant have, it is biology and that is what is stumping you. nothing more. everyone feels that way.
    you arent wrong, you arent bad, you are normal. tomorrow is another day and it is the first day of your new happier and healthier life,,,if you let it. reach out. at 41 there are tons of gals who would like to meet you. and to give you some ammo go to a website called ‘www.askmen.com’ and click on the ‘dating and love’ section, in particular the stuff by a guy named ‘doc love’. your game needs a little fixing, you need a confidence check. their dating and love section will remind you of how to play the dating game.

  4. i know how you feel, it recently happened to me but i am older, i tell you the truth time will help ease the pain, she proved to you she isn’t deserving of your love.
    sorry, her sister should have been happy for her to have a devoted husband, instead she was jealous and miserable.
    misery desires company,
    so they’re just two more women on the loose going from club to club.
    you will find a good woman who won’t leave you,
    yes God works all things out for who love Him, and are called according to His purpose.
    so i say go to a bible based church, and find a decent girl.
    ”karma” is not in the bible per se’ but it says ‘ye reap what ye sow’. same thing.
    Galatians 6;7
    also whatever measure ye meet out shall be met out to you, Matt, 7;2-4
    look it up, learn the bible.

  5. I hope that you are doing much better – always remember that you are not alone, there are many people in the same situation where the love of thier lives has a change of heart. Reach out to your support systems or try to find a support group to help you through the process. it’s extremely though when this type of event happens in our lives – a very valuable part is the lessons learned, to never build your wold around one person. Not having closure is just not fair – everyone deserves this especially after a long term relationship like yours. Let us know how you are doing.

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