HomeDiscussion ForumI have to ask--Especially you FSMers--Have you considered my viewpoint?

I have to ask–Especially you FSMers–Have you considered my viewpoint?

I am a Discordian. We worship the goddess Eris, except for when we forget to, except for when we don’t for other reasons, like not being Discordians. We think with our Pineal glands and our religious symbol is a golden apple. I am a Pope. You are a Pope. He is, she is, and it is, a Pope. We are all Popes, and, as Pope, it is my right to grant you Popedom. So, just for reading this far, I declare you a knight and Pope of Discordia.
Our main tradition is eating a hotdog with all the fixings on a Friday morning, because it breaks the rules of various traditions. It breaks the rules of:
-Catholicism (no meat on Fridays)
-Judaism (no pork)
-Hinduism (no beef)
-Buddhism (no meat)
-Pastafarianism (Pasta for breakfast)
-Discordia (no hot dog buns).
We are a truly correct verifiable religion. We basically believe everything that Discordians believe, except for when we believe other things, or don’t believe anything. Our only set religious law is that everything is somehow related to the number five, and that a lot of things also have to do with twenty-three. Of course, a lot of things have nothing to do with either.
So, what do you think?
Lobster phone is still a Pope.
Brother/Sister/Others, let us fight that curse!
I will never again accept the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He touched me with his noodly appendage. Luckily, the Invisible Pink Unicorn came and told him off, but she recommended me to Discordia, and I found out that one of the powers, as Pope, that I might or might not have, is theicide. So, now I’m hunting Flying Spaghetti Monsters. I will mount his eye-stalks on my wall in front of which I eat hotdogs on Fridays.
Godot Is Waiting For You is WINning this internet right now, but four days is a long time.

12 COMMENTS

  1. I am an Accordion. Sometimes referred to as the sailor’s piano. I make notes when you compress and expand my body. Hit my keys for different notes.

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