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How would a colony of psychic bats who practice hypnotherapy go about luring an Irishman into their cave?

Would they put chicken curry in a bear trap? Would they use their psychic powers to lure him into the cave? Would they hypnotize him to believe he is Batman, then use the Bat-Signal to summon him? How would the Irishman escape from the cave, if he only had dingbat repellent on him for protection?

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Blue-Eyed Christian
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Blue-Eyed Christian

They should all fly to the tree outside his bedroom window at night, preferably on a night when his window is open. Then while he sleeps, they can whisper their suggestions to him, something like “you really want to go spelunking in that big black cave outside of town!” Then when he wakes up, the ringleader bat can hide on the back of said Irishman’s head and guide him to the cave, kinda like Ratatouille under the chef’s hat. He wouldn’t escape because the bats would have him convinced that he wanted to live on the cave floor surrounded by… Read more »

hatrickpatrick
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hatrickpatrick

I’m Irish and I can honestly tell you that we’d probably save them the trouble by nosing around in the cave ourselves out of curiosity 😀
But yeah, if we didn’t do that then beer is the way to an Irish person’s heart

Dior
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Dior

well I cant thing of any cheezy irish man jokes so Im gonna go with the batman route. This irishman would believe he were batman and fight the bats with his bare hands (POW! BANG) and then just when it looked like he were loosing, robin would come and save him cause the show has to end with batman being the hero, what with all the kids watching – I mean you cant crush all thier lofty, idylic superhero dreams, its america after all, anything can happen here, just look at paris hilton.

am1432
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am1432

I think they’d probably know his fondness for dingbats, on account of the psychic ability and know that the repellent was all a facade. They’d douse him in the spray and the dingbats would come. Clearly, now that the Irishman is surrounded with a harem of dingbats, he’s naturally, instinctively even, drawn into the cave. He went in willingly, the bats are pleased. He will leave the cave when the dingbats grow lax and tiresome. The bats will let him, knowing he cannot live without experiencing the depths of the cave again soon. The cave…the *cave* is the Irishman’s greatest… Read more »

Jane
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Jane

Tell him you have a lovely dinner on the go, AKA a pint of Guinness.
Sorry but Freud did say the only people in the face of the planet you couldn’t analyze were the Irish…lol
Good luck with that.

PS: I love my Celtic cousins..

Just wanted to say that this is one of the funniest questions I have read in a long time, and the answers are hysterical!
Keep them coming..

Matthew D
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Matthew D

You offered chicken curry. What about Baileys?

kiki
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kiki

The physic bats, distant relatives to the vampire bats, would sneak up behind the Irishman as he’s eating his Lucky Charms and take a quick sample of his flesh. Upon doing so, they mark their new prey with a specific scent that they can then follow to trace their prey at the Irishman’s Headquarters. Once the Irishmen have drunk themselves silly with ale, the bats will then use their skillz learned from the Japanese masters to break into the Headquarters and drink their prey as the Irishmen continue to slumber and dream of gumdrops and girls in green skirts. Plan… Read more »

Trevor
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Trevor

“Hey you come over here into our cave”

Rio Madeira
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Rio Madeira

. . . What happened to your brain?

Question ?
Guest
Question ?

I eat bats

Horrible Personality
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Horrible Personality

Nah, they would just offer him a beer.

Bonzai Betty
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Bonzai Betty

The bats would ferment their pee until it smelled like beer, and then the drunken Irishmen would follow his nose to what he thought was the local pub, but he wouldnt know for sure because he would have already lost his vision due to drinking heavily all damn day. He would continue into the cave and find out the hard way that alcoholism leads nowhere, and he would bite as many bats as possible in order to escape and he would leave behind all his teeth like tiny spears in the bats back due to his growing case of periodontal… Read more »

BmBm
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BmBm

did they finally catch Bill O’Reilly with his pants down in a ho’house? did I miss the news?

allornothing
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allornothing

ok…

Beep
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Beep

Great.. now I have, “Zubat, I choose you!” stuck in my head.