Would they put chicken curry in a bear trap? Would they use their psychic powers to lure him into the cave? Would they hypnotize him to believe he is Batman, then use the Bat-Signal to summon him? How would the Irishman escape from the cave, if he only had dingbat repellent on him for protection?

15 Comments

  • They should all fly to the tree outside his bedroom window at night, preferably on a night when his window is open. Then while he sleeps, they can whisper their suggestions to him, something like “you really want to go spelunking in that big black cave outside of town!” Then when he wakes up, the ringleader bat can hide on the back of said Irishman’s head and guide him to the cave, kinda like Ratatouille under the chef’s hat.

    He wouldn’t escape because the bats would have him convinced that he wanted to live on the cave floor surrounded by guano for the rest of his life. They’d use him for their nefarious plans, such as making him go into town and get booze and cigarettes for their parties.

  • I’m Irish and I can honestly tell you that we’d probably save them the trouble by nosing around in the cave ourselves out of curiosity 😀
    But yeah, if we didn’t do that then beer is the way to an Irish person’s heart

  • well I cant thing of any cheezy irish man jokes so Im gonna go with the batman route. This irishman would believe he were batman and fight the bats with his bare hands (POW! BANG) and then just when it looked like he were loosing, robin would come and save him cause the show has to end with batman being the hero, what with all the kids watching – I mean you cant crush all thier lofty, idylic superhero dreams, its america after all, anything can happen here, just look at paris hilton.

  • I think they’d probably know his fondness for dingbats, on account of the psychic ability and know that the repellent was all a facade. They’d douse him in the spray and the dingbats would come.

    Clearly, now that the Irishman is surrounded with a harem of dingbats, he’s naturally, instinctively even, drawn into the cave.

    He went in willingly, the bats are pleased. He will leave the cave when the dingbats grow lax and tiresome. The bats will let him, knowing he cannot live without experiencing the depths of the cave again soon.

    The cave…the *cave* is the Irishman’s greatest weakness.

    The bats are wise to nest there.

    Before he leaves they use the hypnosis to make him believe it’s all of his own free will that he’s drawn to the cave, and that it’s his choice to return.

  • Tell him you have a lovely dinner on the go, AKA a pint of Guinness.
    Sorry but Freud did say the only people in the face of the planet you couldn’t analyze were the Irish…lol
    Good luck with that.

    PS: I love my Celtic cousins..

    Just wanted to say that this is one of the funniest questions I have read in a long time, and the answers are hysterical!
    Keep them coming..

  • The physic bats, distant relatives to the vampire bats, would sneak up behind the Irishman as he’s eating his Lucky Charms and take a quick sample of his flesh. Upon doing so, they mark their new prey with a specific scent that they can then follow to trace their prey at the Irishman’s Headquarters.

    Once the Irishmen have drunk themselves silly with ale, the bats will then use their skillz learned from the Japanese masters to break into the Headquarters and drink their prey as the Irishmen continue to slumber and dream of gumdrops and girls in green skirts.

    Plan B, if of course the bats were unable to infect the Irishmen with their saliva and thus their ticket into HQ was gone, would be to use their physic abilities to make the Irishmen think that they were leprechauns. If the bats were to properly place a pot of gold at the entrance to the cave, I think the Irishmen would readily approach and thus be ensnared by the evil physics bats.

    The Irishmen, sadly, would have no chance for escape. Physic bats are the deadliest of all adversaries and allow for no mercy.

    The end.

  • The bats would ferment their pee until it smelled like beer, and then the drunken Irishmen would follow his nose to what he thought was the local pub, but he wouldnt know for sure because he would have already lost his vision due to drinking heavily all damn day. He would continue into the cave and find out the hard way that alcoholism leads nowhere, and he would bite as many bats as possible in order to escape and he would leave behind all his teeth like tiny spears in the bats back due to his growing case of periodontal disease caused from years of alcoholism and poor oral hygiene! LOL

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