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How to tell you parents that you are Pagan?

hello i am 17 years old and over the past few years i have chosen to take the Pagan path…. i love my parents and don’t want to hurt them, but i cant sit there and lie to them anymore about my religion… does anyone have any advise on how to tell them without getting in an argument or getting kicked out…. if you have any suggestions or anything that might help i beg of you to comment!

7 Comments

  • All truths are but one truth, all gods are but one god adnd all godesses are but one godess, we apply a name unto that which is infinite to bring it down to our own finite understanding. In my lifes path as a pagan I have been on all sides of the argument from aggresively defending myself from the hardcore fundamentalist christians to my own family, my father is a non denominational free accepted mason and my mother is an orthodox roman catholic…the arguments were loud and served no purpose but to cause more friction and hardships than needed. I learned that there is no shame in saying we agree to disagree (if only to myself). I see no need in telling my parents that I am a pagan any longer as I have said it once and made my decision known. I no longer live with my parents and I do not discuss my faith around them. Path of least resistance, as I said at the top all truths are but one truth and I cannot disrespect anothers faith with out first disrespecting my own.

  • I follow the following when discussing my beliefs with my family. They are extrememly religious in their Christian faith. I have come to understand that you can’t change their mind, or make them understand. You will need to decide if this is the right time to tell them.

    “If for a tranquil mind you seek, these things observe with care: Of whom you speak, to whom you speak, and how, and when and where” via Pagan Magic

  • Hello,

    There is a guide that has been put together by the IPCOD to help Pagans prepare for Pagan Coming Out Day on May 2nd. It does not address teens and I would caution that when you are a minor or are financially dependent on someone else, coming out is more complicated. Think carefully about if this is the right time to come out and if you are emotionally and financially ready to do so.

    http://pagancomingoutday.com/resources/ipcods-guide-to-coming-out/

    Good luck and I wish you well.

  • Seriously, I’d wait until you’re 18 and out on your own if you think there is any chance they will react negatively. 🙂 I’m 31 and I *still* haven’t told most of my family!

    If they’re not very religious, it may not be a big deal. But if they are deeply devoted to one of the “one true way” faiths, you may create a never-ending cycle of harassment for yourself as they try to “win you back” to their faith. It’s not worth the headaches.

  • I am a High Priest of a Wiccan church. Not knowing your parents or how religious they are, I would wager that its going to hurt them when you do tell them; you can’t avoid that. I also do not know what type of Paganism you follow; but most pagan paths adhere to the tenet of accepting responsibility for our actions and choices. My advice is to try to talk to your parents. If you know any older more experienced pagans in you area, see if they might be willing to talk with them. Hope this helps.
    Blessed be

  • I have approached the problem with my own parents by not labeling my faith directly. When we have conversations about religion I answer questions and give my opinion honestly but do not argue. If they say something which I find offensive, instead of giving into my initial desire to defend myself, I ask them why they feel that way. I have been called weak before, by my spiritual ‘peers’, but I prefer to think of it as practice in conflict avoidance. The one and only time I directly argued with my Mom, she came the understanding that according to her faith, my professions would have me in Hell. No matter how much I fervently disagree with her belief, I could see genuine concern and fear in her eyes. I decided that I would rather my religious pride took a back seat to the thought that were something to happen to me, she would worry for the rest of her days that I was suffering some sort of eternal torment.

    There are many ways to affirm your faith, even publically, without injuring your parents. Attend events (like Pagan Pride Day or even a Renaissance Faire) take classes at local metaphysical shops. Join online or community discussion groups.

    Sorry to be so long winded but this is obviously a topic close to my heart 🙂 Above all, don’t lie to them, it makes it appear as though you have something negative to hide, which you don’t. Just… be gentle with the manner that you speak to them about you faith.

    If you are ever uncomfortable answering the question “what religion are you?” You can always do what I do. Say, “thats complicated” smile and ask them what they believe. That is usually all they are after anyways.

    Hope I helped at least a little bit.

    BB

  • If you’re going to be moving out when you’re 18, I’d just wait and tell them then. If they would actually throw you out of the house, it’s not worth the risk. I’m sorry if they are so hateful. I can’t possibly imagine what religion they could possibly be that they would reject their own child.

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