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how to go about telling parents, as a 13 year old, you want to take a break from christianity?

My parents are practising catholics, my dad was brought up to be one, and my mum is recently converted and very into it. They brought me up to be catholic too, but it just doesn’t feel right for me, nothing clicks. I want to explain to them that i want to find out about other belief systems, experiment and see what works for me. I’m worried they will flip out.
I do believe there is some form of higher power, such as a god, but i do not think it is how the christian faith portrays him, in fact i do not know if there is any faith that thinks of their god the same way i think of mine.
My outlook is this, if i be the best person i can be, then whoever god is, he will be pleased, and even if there is no god, it is a fulfilling way to live.
Any advice of how to broach this subject, made more complicated by being embroiled in the church activity, my parents,especially my mother, being very involved in the church, and knowing the priest better then most.
thank you so much.
ps, the reason i say take a break is that, i want to sort everything out in my head, then find a faith that beleives what i beleive, and i don’t know, i might go back to another form of christianity; I just want to make sure, i’m not doing it just for the sake that i’ve been brought up to be christian. I am very interested in the “new” age stuff, i can see auras and am developing my intuition. Before all the jesting starts, i would like to say that both my eyes and mind are fine, and if you can’t think of anything worth reading to type, then don’t.
thanks again.
I’m sorry guys, it would appear someone immature has given you all thumb down, i have been through them and think they are all worthy of a thumb up (even the really long one) and therefore have given you all thumb up. And come one guys, why 10 down for the first answer, =0 ???

27 COMMENTS

  1. The Qur’an says:
    [“Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error: whoever rejects Taghut (evil) and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trust worthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And Allah heareth and knoweth all things. ” (Qur’an 2:256)]

  2. “Mom, dad. I’m sorry but I no longer believe in what you believe, in terms of religion. Please respect my constitutional right to make my own decisions in matters of personal belief, regardless of age.”
    Just be polite. Have a sitdown. Tell them WHY you don’t believe. Eventually they may even come closer to your side of things.

  3. The teachings of the Church contradict the teachings of Jesus (pbuh) and that is the cause of the confusion.
    If a sincere christian who wants to follow Jesus (peace be upon him), asks priests about trinity, the answer that he gets is “It is a Mystery, not explained by Jesus (pbuh) clearly”, at that time again those forget that Jesus (pbuh) said,
    “I spoke openly to the world. I always taught in synagogues and in the temple, where the Jews always meet, and in secret I have said nothing” (John 18:20 (NKJ)).
    If trinity is confusing enough to be called a mystery, it cannot be from God. Because:
    “God is not a God of confusion.”–1 Corinthians 14:33, Revised Standard Version (RS).
    There was no mystery in the message of Jesus (pbuh), nothing secret. Will you accept the priests’ so called “mystery of trinity” and forget clear commandments of Jesus (pbuh)?
    Jesus (pbuh) clearly said:
    A) Mark 12:29: “the Lord our God, the lord is One”.
    B) Metthew: 26:39: “He went a little farther and fell on His face and prayed” (Following Jesus (pbuh) way is following what he did). Jesus (pbuh) prayed to one God
    C) Matthew 4:10 “You shall worship the Lord, your God, and him only you shall serve”
    D) John 5:19: “Most truly I say to you, the son cannot do a single thing of his own initiative but only what he beholds the father doing.”
    E) John 7:16 Jesus answered them, and said, My doctrine is not mine, but his that sent me
    F) Matthew 27:46: “Eloi (Allah?) , Eloi, lama sabachthani?” — which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
    (G)Jesus answered, If I honour myself, my honour is nothing: it is my Father that honoureth me; of whom ye say, that he is your God: John 8:54
    The trinity is a doctrine from about the year 325 AD, It has its roots in polytheism, It is not in the bible unless you really, really stretch it to fit. Jesus didn’t have to hide the concept of trinity if it were the basis of salvation.
    The New Catholic Encyclopedia – 1967, VOL. XIV, PAGE 299:
    The formulation “one God in three Persons” was not solidly established, certainly not fully assimilated into Christian life and its profession of faith, PRIOR TO THE END OF THE 4TH CENTURY. But it is precisely this formulation that first claimed to title “The Trinitarian Dogma. AMONG THE APOSTOLIC FATHERS, THERE HAD BEEN NOTHING EVEN REMOTELY APPROACHING SUCH A MENTALITY OR PERSPECTIVE.
    You should not accept the word “son” literally . Word “son” was used in bible for general human beings and other prophets also. “we all are the children of father in heavens” indicates that word “son” was used in different meaning of love and care. Mathew: 5:9. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God.”
    Jesus , Moses, Mohammad (peace be upon them), they all worshiped the same God, the God of Ibrahim (pbuh). All prophets taught “surrendering one’s will to God” that is the meaning of word “Islam”. JAMES 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
    Muslims love Jesus (pbuh), they believe in his miraculous birth with the will of God without a father or sexual act (the way Adam was born without a mother and father), , they believe in miracles that Jesus (pbuh) performed with permission of God, muslims faith demands them to believe Jesus (pbuh) was a great prophet of God and belief in the original message of Jesus (pbuh) the massaya.
    There was just not one holy book sent by God on earth through His messengers. The last testiment “Quran” had to be there from the same source, revealed to the Prophet Muhammed (pbuh), an illiterate person who didn’t know how to read or write) some 600 years after Jesus (pbuh) corrects the errors that crept (knowingly or unknowingly) into the message that Jesus (pbuh) brought. Unlike Bible that was written after decades after Jesus by people who never met Jesus, this book was not preserved on paper or in one church but in hearts of thousands of muslims who memorised Quran word by word the way it was revealved. Quran should prove to be a very valuable asset to both Muslims and Christians.
    Quran: [4:171] O people of the scripture, do not transgress the limits of your religion, and do not say about GOD except the truth. The Messiah, Jesus (pbuh), the son of Mary, was a messenger of GOD, and His word that He had sent to Mary, and a revelation from Him. Therefore, you shall believe in GOD and His messengers. You shall not say, “Trinity.” You shall refrain from this for your own good. GOD is only one god. Be He glorified; He is much too glorious to have a son. To Him belongs everything in the heavens and everything on earth. GOD suffices as Lord and Master. [5:73] Pagans indeed are those who say that GOD is a third of a trinity. There is no god except the one god. Unless they refrain from saying this, those who disbelieve among them will incur a painful retribution.

  4. My husband comes from a catholic family, and until about 2 years ago his dad STILL used to call him to remind him to go to church. He’s 34.
    He never sat them down and said “I’m not catholic any more”. You need to do this and there isn’t a gentle way.
    Personally, I think it’s good you are asking questions, but you should be more skeptical and ask for evidence…

  5. This may help you give concrete reasons why you question your parents belief system: http://gospelenigma.com
    That resource uses Christ’s own words to challenge popular religious practices.
    And the character in the story is about your age, so you may relate to what he is going through.

  6. Exactly the way you told us! Except say that you just want time to think things thru and sort it out. Ask them to respect your decision and not be forceful. If they are, as most parents might panic, don’t hold it against them and the entire religion and just remember when you’re 18 you won’t even need to have this talk with them.
    I’m Christian, but I understand that people need to believe because of faith..not because they are being pressured or force..and God wouldn’t want that anyway. However, I can tell you right now, that if you’re not pleased with the Christianity idea, you’re really going to be dissapointed with the other religious “trends” out there right now.

  7. Firstly tell your mum and dad that you would like to talk about religion. I would do this earlier in the day, and explain you’d like to talk say, after dinner. That way you prepare them a little so it’s not a shock when you bring it up.
    Then explain as you have here, honestly, openly and see what they say. Bear in mind they may find it upsetting, I guess it depends on how open minded they are. Your mum might be more accepting and understanding of your wishes, given she has not been catholic all her life.
    Edit: Make sure you emphasise that you are not completely rejecting their religion, merely exploring others.

  8. Maybe telling them them what you’ve said here. From what I know about the bible it does teach you to ask questions. The first thing that came to mind was Buddhism when reading your question. Tell them you do believe in a ‘Creator’ a ‘God’ but you don’t think what is written is very accurate and you’d like to do your own research into the matter. Best of luck. x
    [Phantom, she does believe in a high power, just not as the bible portrays them.]

  9. It might be best to do your soul-searching without telling your parents.
    Is there really a need to tell them?
    Once you are an adult and on your own, you can tell them whatever you want.
    I was raised Catholic and started moving away from it at the same age you are now, but I didn’t have any need to tell my parents so. What they didn’t know did not hurt them. Just continue to be a good person, and everything should be fine.
    I believe in choosing the path that promotes the most peace for everyone involved. Some may disagree, and that is fine. Just remember to do that which causes you and anyone else involved the least amount of grief.

  10. I agree that you have to tell them.
    Their reaction should guide you with your next step.
    If they freak out, rant and rave, attempt to force you to continue with the catholic faith, what does that say about them and the faith?
    Does it say..unbending, unforgiving, unprepared to acknowledge individuality.
    I hope they are reasonable and allow you to find your feet.
    But you say you are spiritual and believe in god.
    Do you really need an organised religion to maintain that belief.
    Most religions are structured, they have dogma that cannot be challenged.
    You may find these religions suffocating.
    Can you not just lead a good, honourable life, at one with your god, without the complications imposed by organised religions?

  11. 13 is a bit young to come out of the closet. Just go along as if everything is still the same. When yo are old enough to leave the house, yo can tell them. Because you may be outed when you do tell them.

  12. Be honest and maybe ask for time to figure this out, save them from overreacting and having you exorcised or sent to a nunnery or something.

  13. According to God’s word you are a young adult.Just read and find out about what moves you. But , as an adult, you are responsible for whatever decisions you make. You cannot blame your parents for the way you think.But God did say to honor your parents on the earth, so you will live long on the earth.Just smile and do what they want. Now they cannot make you believe anything.But as long as you are under their roof, they make the rules.My grandson asked me how long does he have to listen to his mother. I told him he can not listen now. All he has to do is get a job and get his own place and pay his own bills.He is also 13.His mothers house is not a democracy. It is a kingdom. And the queen has spoken.

  14. If the Catholic church and upbringing you are talking about is anything like the Catholicism that is rampant worldwide – then you will be no further from God or the truth if you never step foot in a Catholic church again.
    If you open a bible and read the New Testament once or twice, you will find plenty of things that conflict with Catholicism. If you pray with sincerity, you will even find that following Jesus is not a hollow, ritualistic religion, but a source of unspeakable joy and peace.
    I will pray that you discover that this is true, and that you don’t deceived in your search for truth.

  15. You have a friend in Jesus. Through Jesus you learn the truth and Jesus has promised to come back to save us from Satan, who incidentally rules this Earth. Don’t let satan win by you turning your back to your faith.
    Remember, God knows everything about you and He would be disappointed that you want to walk away from Him.
    God Bless You. See you in the New World that God is preparing for us.

  16. i believe yu INHERENTLY ‘ feel ‘ THIS :
    Watt yu will seek is Universe Citizenship.
    the ONLY Religion is : All Religions.
    the Greatest Book of Truths is All Books of Truth
    the Greatest Teacher who has EVER Lived is HE
    that Dwells WITHIN Each of Us.
    Simply – ASK yirr Pair-Rinse (this) :
    MaPa – WIN can i be free 2 chooze MY OWN
    R E L I G I O U S P A T H or Understanding.

  17. How about forgetting about god and keeping your outlook on life which is bang on. That way everyone is happy and no religion gets your time or money. As for telling your Mum and Dad, it all depends on how devout they are. If they are reasonable people they should support whatever you decide to do, especially if it just being good in a different way. If they are very religious, they will probably make your life a misery which is another very good sign that you are doing the right thing. You sound like you have your head screwed on and are going about it the right way in my opinion but don’t ignore the no religion option

  18. There is a thing that I teach and it’s called keeping things between you and God. When Jesus started doing the will of his father. He told his mother, the disciples, the multitude and the Pharisees, I am about my Father business. Jesus did not get permission from Mary or anyone else. Whatever God had for him to do, he did it. Understand that you are suppose to search for God within and pray that he will reveal himself to you but you must also believe in him. When you go to church, do not look at as if you are going to church for the wrong reasons, but look at it as if you are going there to have a little peace between you, God and no one else. God does not care about your religion. He just want you to have a relationship between you and him.
    Let me ask you this. If Mary and Joseph would have taken Jesus to a Wicca church, do you believe that Jesus would have practice it. Than wind up teaching it? No because that was not of his Father will. The best way I can tell you this is this. Just because your body is there at the service, doesn’t mean your spirit has to be. I have been to nearly a hundred churches, worked for three preachers and two missions, and believe me, I have shut down mentally and allowed God to teach me through the Holy Spirit. Because either the service was boring, The preacher was talking about something that did not benefit my life (basically a money hungry preacher), or one who would preach as if he had acted out the sermon weeks ago. Try it, and watch how God will talk to you. But you must have the faith and believe that God will talk to you. People will tell you that you are crazy for believing that God will talk to you. I may be crazy, but this is one crazy person going to heaven when I die. Just something to think about. I am not telling you this stuff from here say, or from someone else experience. This doesn’t come from a book but it comes from someone who had to say the heck with what other believes. I have to have a relationship with God to believe what he wants me to believe. And that my friend is what counts.

  19. A question for you to consider. Are you interested in knowing and seeking the truth, or are you interested in making up a god(s) and or faith which fits in to what you would like him/her/them to be?
    I can only offer you this advice, if you want to seek and find the truth (and there can only be one truth), then ask the God who created you to show you. If you want to seek your own truth, then be prepared to be bombarded with confusion and doubt and things which “seem” right. Sometimes what appears inviting, exciting and enticing is the very thing which pulls you the furthest away from the truth.
    With regards to your parents, simply gently tell them your doubts. I am a Christian, but not a Catholic ( I too struggle with some of the doctrine, rituals and traditions and therefore would have talked to my parents too about my concerns.) I also have a daughter who is asking questions about God, her life, her faith and her doubts. My advice to her is the same as I shall give to you, you have to seek the truth for yourself. When she asks something about God, I will give her every answer that I know, however it is up to her whether she wants to know the truth, or whether she wants to follow some other path, which although I believe is false, she has free will to reject or embrace the truth (and there are plenty of things that will entice you and that you can choose from).
    I hope and pray that on your journey in life, one day, you will seek and know the truth. May God bless you 🙂

  20. I did this at 16 -when I became Muslim,
    I couldn’t say anything at first.
    Then a relative spotted me in town with hijab on…
    I wish I had been clear, upfront and had a mature conversation.
    The first few years were difficult, after the communication started to flow more it became easier.
    My Mum now believes that Islam is the truth.

  21. I would recommend to you the book “The Great Controversy” by Ellen White. Find a copy of this, and when you have read it, you will have plenty to ask your parents about. The book gives an overview of the history of the major religions in the world, and helps anyone to see how they have evolved over time. More importantly, the book will help you to understand where everything is headed.
    God bless!

  22. You have every right to explore other faiths of course, I hope your parents are understanding enough to allow this. You could try this argument, that if the God they follow is for real, He will surely guide you to find Him again one day, and that all you want is the chance to find Him in your own way.
    I am concerned though that you have chosen to believe in a God of your own making. God is not who we make him to be, He is who He is.
    Be aware that many faiths believe things that are similar to Christianity and you may be pulled towards the one that most matches what you want to believe, rather than what is actually true.
    I would therefore recommend that you start with an alpha course, which is a safe place to ask any question you want without fear of ridicule or pressure. Show your parents the page I give the link to, so they can be reassured that you have thought about it.
    And please don’t do anything without praying first, if God is real it’s important that you allow Him to show you.

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