How is so easy for a man to change his feelings but its so hard for women?

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I was recently dealing with this guy that I reconnected with from HS. Anyway, he and I started talking and hanging out when we could and within a month and half, we were inseparable. Im not sure if anyone really understands anything about Chi energy, but our energy was so connected. We felt like time stopped when were together, or the weather was changing when we were together. Me and this guy became emotionally attached. I would find my heart aching for him when he wasn’t around,. I got butterflies in my stomach whenever we were together. We finally decided to make love and I swear I never felt like that before in my life. ive never had sex so fantastic before in my life. Recently, me and this guy haven’t been speaking much, we used to talk everyday and couldn’t wait to see each other, now for the past two weeks, he hasn’t returned any of my calls or texts, when I finally spoke to him, he has this whatever attitude like my feelings don’t mean anything anymore. Here is the catch to this whole story, Hes married and so am I. Our marriages are not doing well, that’s the reason why we started fooling around. im not saying what Im doing is right, but he came at the time when I really needed someone. what do u think is happening? What should I do? I fell for this guy and my heart hurts.. talk to me please.

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I don’t know what chi energy is, but I recognize lust. For you it was all”chi,” but for him it was casual sex. Sorry.
How can you have CHI when you’re both CHEaters? Interesting.

La Enigma

when married you should only turn to your mate


What a horrible but familiar story… for him, it was the thrill of the chase, to see if he could get you to sleep with him. Now that you have, he’s experiencing the weather changing with somebody else. : (
If you want your marriage to work, you have to fully commit to addressing your issues with your husband. If you don’t want it to work, then get out. But don’t stay in it, stay unhappy, and cheat; that’s not fair on anybody.


Because you believe in crap like “Chi energy” and being “connected”. He believes in the real world but will tell you whatever you want to hear to get what he wants. So when he got tired of you and went back to his wife, he was fine by it because he wasn’t really connected to you. You got used. Welcome to the real world.


I may not have the answer to your question, but I have been through alot, please check out my book and my story at & God Bless
Southern Endings By Lisa Elizabeth Rose


He had no feelings for you. His marriage sucks and he just needed somebody to sleep with. It sounds like the work of a conqueror. You should forget him.

Im trying

I disagree. From my personal experience and observation men are struck pretty hard emotionally by a woman they love. It seems untrue because of certain aspects. 1. A large percentage of time that a man seems to love a woman, they are acting, they only want one thing and when they are done with it they move on. in this scenario the man never had true emotions for the woman in the first place. 2. Some men are very good at putting up a front that is completely false, they appear to not be affected and most often will try to dissociate themselves from the woman completely to try to get over it. I am guilty of this my self. Either of these first two require a lot of lying, one for personal gain and the the other to not give satisfaction to the woman that broke their heart. 3. A good number of men don’t really experience love at all, they are instead possessive and callous, not to the point where they are dangerous, though that does happen. They believe that their possessiveness of a woman is love, but when an extended period of separation from the individual goes by they then loose their desire for that person, because they never loved them anyway. To the woman on the receiving end, it can seem as though the man got over the woman very quickly. In your case, though I don’t know any details about your situation, I’d say number 1 is most likely what you are describing. The man has no care or compassion for any woman at all, he is clearly good at pretending he does and will even tolerate the little things for a short time to get what he wants. If he did truly love you he would not cheat on his wife, but would leave her and you would not be feeling this way about yourself. Sorry to say it, but I believe you have been played.

Captain S

I understand chi and chi developing exercises implicitly, but it is not an inherently emotional endeavor. I think you may have ascribed some degree of emotionality to it (because of the rocky state of your marriage) that wasn’t necessarily warranted or mutual. Chi development and Tantric practices will make for great sex, but great sex can easily cloud and distort the larger issue: you were emotionally by yourself all along. I am sorry for that, but the good news is, awareness of these things is more wide-ranging than you think, so maybe there is a guy out there for you who can bring both the heightened sexual dynamic and the emotionality you seek…when you’re free, of course.


It’s not easier. Men just cope differently.
Maybe his feelings for you were different to begin with.


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