How does this sound (wording-wise), please do not judge?

- Advertisement -

Is it clear enough?
We all dream of a time when we don’t have to work anymore, live free from disease, poverty, pain and death. This feeling reminds us of a time long ago, where technology is more advanced that it is now and man lived in total harmony with his environment
Members from past Golden Ages millions of years ago still walk among us to this day, and we can join them. People have been resurrecting from the dead long before the days of Lazarus, and have total power over this world. Sages can communicate telepathically with others, walk through walls, teleport at will, shape-shift, become invisible and more. Nothing is impossible for them. Immortals guide humanity to promote spiritual evolution and freedom, by working from retreats deep under mountain ranges or in bases beneath the ocean. Century after century, they do not give up on us. Immortals have perfect bodies and can appear at any age by lowering or raising the vibrations of their bodies into different realms of universal light.

- Advertisement -
Notify of
Most Voted
Newest Oldest
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
TEH TYME KITTEH ~pantheist~

We have become slaves to freedom

BoogyMan Messiah

It is clear in that I can clearly understand the individual words on the page.
However, taken as a whole, it is very unclear. You make a great many assertions which are unsupported and unconnected. If your intent is to persuade or inform, this piece of writing needs quite a bit of work.


no they havent. They are all sleeping still…PARADISE WILL COME BACK YES…but we will work in something fascinating and our bodies wont get tired.


First paragraph is good, second is way off.


Are you truly looking for gramatical clarification in the R&S section or are you trying to make a statement without having it questioned?
Wording-wise. Looks ok to me. Logically, it doesn’t stand to reason.


sounds like total rubbish you only have one shot at conciousness enjoy it all these promises of after life are designed to keep you working and breeding quietly till you die, thus causing no trouble to those who rule

Eclectic Heretic

Second paragraph is too long. It could be divided in a couple of places without losing the meaning. Long paragraphs tend to get ignored.
Also, when you write something like this, you need to provide sources unless you are writing a work of fiction. Right now, that is all you have.

Judith A

Hi Michael,
I’m confused by these 2 thoughts:
“This feeling reminds us of a long time ago . . .,” which seems to indicate that the everyone has these memories, and “Members from past Golden Ages millions of years ago still walk among us. . .,” which seems to indicate that only certain people would remember past ages.
Also, you wrote: “We all dream of a time when we don’t have to work anymore, live free from disease, poverty, pain and death.”
That doesn’t resonate with me and the whole first paragraph seems like a throwaway intro. Personally I would either start with the second paragraph or maybe even switch the paragraphs, but clarify what “reminds us” means.
Good luck!


Psychic/medium experiences?

I Was just wondering if people had any psychic experiences here is my story.I just wanted to speak about my psychic experiences over my...

What are (if any) the negative effects of solar energy?

I'm assuming that collecting solar energy essentially "robs" the earth of the energy from sunlight. If this solar energy was used on a much...

Can those who see auras see them around people on television or just in person?

If they can see the auras of public figures appearing on television, are there any reports about the auras of political or people who...

Is the answer to the unfairness of life to be found in reincarnation?

Our lives often seem unfair, but what if reincarnation exists? Then in one lifetime we might be privileged and fortunate. Then in the next...

Will Colour therapy work and will my masculine side be balanced?

I went for colour therapy and the therapist used coloured oils to massage my body. Before the massage she used energy rods to check...

can people who don't meditate have open chakras?

I meditate and practice opening them with chants and such, but I wonder if people who are unaware of their existence or may not...
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x