How do you handle living with a love vampire?





by Lyra:

With someone who sucks all the energy and love into themselves with little regard for you? Even when they always say they love you?
What spiritual coping mechanism would you use?
What kind of emotional healing would you use?
Thanks to all who answer!

Nah, I have enough love for like, 10 of those guys.


  1. As other people have said, get out of there. Easy said, of course. Not so easy to do. These people suck the will out of you as well.
    My own daughter lived with such a being for years. She stayed until her children were able to cope on their own, then she left. It was a horrible time but she came through it and is now very happily married to a good man.
    Spiritual coping mechanism? Join any church which has a strong sense of fellowship and a faith in the future. Pray for help. Have a rosary or something similar so that when it gets bad you can concentrate on telling the beads, shifting your mind away from the present circumstances. (The rosary is about deepening the mind rather than adoration of the saint).
    But these things are only coping mechanisms. They won’t solve the problem, just help you to turn away from it. You need to heal.
    Emotional healing? You need to heal mind and body! The trauma from this relationship need to be brought out into the open and cleared at all levels. Some techniques are – Emotional Freedom Technique. Focusing, (get the book by Eugene T Gendlin). My own work, (see my profile). Emotrance, (Bit of a silly name but a very powerful method). Psychotherapy. Meditation, (either Zazen or TM.)
    It’s important, though, that you remove yourself from the source of the pain. Get out of there, Lyra.

  2. I say unto you, that the man that doeth this, the same cometh out in open rebellion against God; therefore he listeth to obey the evil spirit, and becometh an enemy to all righteousness; therefore, the Lord has no place in him, for he dwelleth not in unholy temples.
    Therefore if that man repenteth not, and remaineth and dieth an enemy to God, the demands of divine justice do awaken his immortal soul to a lively sense of his own guilt, which doth cause him to shrink from the presence of the Lord, and doth fill his breast with guilt, and pain, and anguish, which is like an unquenchable fire, whose flame ascendeth up forever and ever.
    And now I say unto you, that mercy hath no claim on that man; therefore his final doom is to endure a never-ending torment.
    O, all ye old men, and also ye young men, and you little children who can understand my words, for I have spoken plainly unto you that ye might understand, I pray that ye should awake to a remembrance of the awful situation of those that have fallen into transgression.
    -Mosiah Ch 2

  3. Sometimes the most loving thing you can say to someone is, “No.” Separate for a while. Seek counseling alone if you can’t go together.

  4. For myself if the energy doesn’t feel right and good I remove myself from the situation, however I keep in mind that there are knots caused by programing and conditioning that need to be worked through in a relationship so that the energy, Kundalini can continue to flow upwards but both partners need to recognize these knots and work together to untie them.

  5. you can’t these people usually tend to selfish in all aspects of life, they expect you to spend time with THEIR family and go to THEIR events. Especially if theyre men, they require more attention than normal people. They like constant praise. It sounds like a very tiring life. You should talk to this person and tell them to show YOU more attention and loving affections. Maybe you can come to a compromise before moving in together.

  6. I would go see a licensed mental health counselor (your medical plan would have a list of those who are on your medical plan) and get some counseling to get out of an unhealthy relationship or at least to cope with it psychologically. You are dealing with a manipulative narcissist at best and a sociopath at worst.

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