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How do I stop people from laughing at me?

I have a little weight problem, I weigh a tad over 435lbs and I just bought a little yellow Mazda Miata car and everyone laughs at me when I drive it around. It is a real snug fit — the steering wheel digs into my belly when i drive but the worst part is when i have to git in and out. I always have to open up the top and flip it back so I cans queeze into the seat sort of from the top down but when i git out i gotta open up the door and just sorta roll out onto the ground and pull my legs out one at a timeand flop around some till I manage to git up and brush myself off. Everyone at work always lines up to watch me git outta my car every morning and they just laugh and laugh. I almost got ran over the other day in a parking lot when I stopped at the store cause a big ole truck whipped into tha spot next to me and i was trying to crawl out of my car. he stopped just in time to not squash me and knock off the door of my car but it scered me so dang bad i squeeled like a pig and wet myself. How can I git some respect? I know my ole fat wife will never respect me but i don’t care about her. I just want to impress cute women cause i got plans to leave my old hag of a wife someday. Can y’all help me?

10 COMMENTS

  1. You lose weight. If you lose it fast enough people to start to respect and become how surprised you took that responsibility.
    Watch The Biggest Loser on tuesdays, it’s a reality show but they also teach you good exercises and good nutrition.

  2. You can’t spell, you’re extremely overweight, you own a girly car, you wet yourself and you’re incredibly disrespectful to your wife. Hmmm, I’m thinking you should change all of those things and just maybe people will stop laughing though I seriously doubt you’ll ever have any luck impressing cute women.

  3. well first off you need to address your real problem: your weight. being that heavy isn’t healthy for you, and while some people may laugh at it, sooner or later you are going to need to face the fact that you are completly unhealthy, and could die of a heart attack at any moment.
    Dealing with your car issue, you need to learn to laugh at yourself, i was trying to imagine this, and while i vision it i laugh, because while it is a hard thing for you, it is a little funny to watch. The best way to get people to respect you is to be able to find humor in yourself, the reality is you are big, and it does look silly that you squirn out of your car, i’m sorry i know it sounds insensitive, but i grew up in a family of six, i was the one that was always made fun of, the only way i earned their respect was to laugh with them. i hope that helps you, and if you want to impress “cute women” you need to have a better attitude about everything life isn’t all about respect, and its not about putting someone else down- like your wife.

  4. Awwwww! Herman, you poor thing. Lol!
    Don’t listen to those people laughing at you. They’re just jealous because they don’t have that new, fancy, beautiful, yellow Mazda Miata car. That’s all. They’re all a bunch of haters who want what you got. Don’t pay those haters any mind. Lol! I saw that little Mazda Miata wrapped around your torso when you drove past the dollar store last week and I thought you looked real nice in it. Lol!
    You Go Herman!

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