help with a title please?





I wonder if you can will someone parts of your body when you die. I don’t mean like donating organs for people who need transplants, I mean like saying ?I bequeath my left thumbnail to my little sister.? but willing someone your fingernail would be pretty stupid. I think I’d like to will people different parts of my brain. You know, give my pineal body to some insomniac friend so they could get some sleep. Or my hypothalamus to those people who feel like if a room is any warmer than 60degrees then its practically stifling. And of course, I would have to go out being thought of as a decent person so I would will some of my brain matter to some not-so-good friends. Maybe even to a downright enemy. But if thats the case, then I hope I get brain cancer and they end up with diseased brain tissue. These people had better come up with some good ideas for taking care of my brain though, if they chose not to let me get inside their heads so to speak. If they just stuck my present in a Ziploc bag and dumped it in the back of a storage room, I swear, I will find out and haunt their asses until they get the point. Nobody puts my brains in a corner. Now the real question is what do I give to my closest friends? The hippocampus stores memory, but not all of them are good. The amygdala is in charge of emotion, but mainly those of fear and anxiety. Can you imagine that, getting the amygdala in a will? Its like saying ?Here, have some phobias.? You know, maybe what ill give my friends will be bits of the corpus callosum. That all that stuff in between the two halves of your brain. All it does is spread stuff from one side of your brain to the other whether it be visual information or seizures. It serves no purpose other than being a relay center so once I’m dead, its meaningless. Wouldn’t you agree that it would be better to give something meaningless than something that gives them the wrong meaning? Because who wants to die and be remembered as ?that bitch who gave me her pituitary gland. What did she think I was fat or something?? Honestly, if anyone said that…screw them. They can just give it to someone who might want it. Then those ungrateful people can go fight over all of my material possessions. Because they really don’t deserve me anyways.
I kinda need a title and to know what you guys think.


  1. This just cracked me up. Reading this is by far the most fun I’ve had all day.
    Thanks for posting.
    As for a title, how about:
    Sharing the Wealth
    I like that one, it suits the rest of your tone.
    Gray Matter
    Double meaning, expresses your ambivalence as well as being a common way to refer to the brain.
    Oh man, I know there are more. I just can’t think of them. I’ll edit if I do.

  2. it sounds really good so far, are going to try and get it published? ha ha, i like Lend a Hand too.
    or maybe The Little Things About My Brain?
    Eh, i like Lend a Hand better.

  3. since u r writing about the subject, get a lawyer to explain the legal procedures and terms for such a thing. If there is a legal word to sum it all up, then use that word to be your title. you can add the word ‘strange’, ‘questionable’, ‘weird’, ‘forbidden’, etc. in front of the title word to cause curiosity. this will urge someone to want to read it.

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