Like Scott Peck wrote in “The Road Less Traveled” — “In Love” is just a feeling (giddy feeling, butterflies in the stomach, etc.) — but “True Love” is about the “extending of one’s ego boundaries to include another, and about the spiritual nurturing of another, in short, love is effort.”
My wife and I are in our 40s. My wife told me, after 16 years together and 7 years of marriage, that she loves me but is just not in love anymore. She does not want to try counseling. She is basically just giving up.
I am overall a good person / husband — faithful, non-abusive, provide for her well, do a lot to help around the house, keep myself in pretty good shape, etc. I do have my idiosyncracies — a little demanding / controlling in an indirect way. I’m very opinionated about most things and that sort of turns her off. I am 1000% committed to changing these ways — it’s just not worth it, I don’t need to be like that — I get nothing out of being like that and it hurts her. Plus, I never got along great with her 19-yr old son (my step-son) — just sort of cold and distance — I was wrong but I just never really reached out to him like I should have. (I’ve already made amends with him and we are in ngood place now.) But overall I am really a decent husband.
Anyway, if any of you went through this and made it through this, PLEASE tell me some of things that helped you get the help / understanding to get back on track. Specifically, what can I do / say to her to get her to reconsider?
Thank You !!!!!
Additional Details: There is definitely nobody that she is seeing on the side.