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what do you identify with?

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Like many others, I am reading The New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I am only on ch.2 So last night I was reading about how the ego must identify with things to define itself. It seemed he was talking about material things, but for me, the things are more ideas. My ego identifies with the ideal family situation. Where everyone is respectful, considerate and responsible for their own behavior. I know this because my ego feels empty when I am faced with the reality of my family. Ultimately I feel that because my family is disfunctional that it defines me as unworthy... From a spiritual perspective, I believe we must all detach from our ego's and we do that by whitnessing what we identify with and reasoning if it really defines us or not. Anyone willing to share what your ego identifies with in a spiritual step to releasing ego? Thanks for your thoughtful response.

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to be saved you have to die to this life...no ego

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this question would be better suited to the psychology section especially since you are reading Eckhart
but i identify with me myself and i

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see, you are already watching the ego... you are the watcher of even the ego, so you cannot be the ego...
mental or material possessions build the ego. in seeing that ideas, materials are all transient one comes to the original source of self...
go to http://www.oprah.com
eckhart discusses the book on mondays live with oprah and you can participate in sending questions via e-mail or skype video call...
great, highly, truth seeking being you are, nice to meet you here...

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I haven't read the book you speak of, but the writings of Taoism also speak of detaching from the ego as a way to avoid pain and disappointment. Buddhism teaches something similar.
While I understand the theory behind this, in practice it is not so simple. I can't seem to help being attached to my children, who I adore, and I can't seem to stop hoping for certain outcomes. And part of me is not so sure I should, because I feel I have a responsibilty to love my children and to guide them in the world the best I can.
Neale Walsch wrote in Conversations with God that an asthetic has it easy to see the divine, who can sit on a mat, eat a simple bowl of rice and meditate all day on the divine. How simple to see the divine in those circumstances - but ah! give one a spouse and children!
I think that the answer may be a duality of mind. To trust the wholeness of things, to trust in the harmony of all outcomes, to trust one's ability to meet all challenges, but still move in certain directions and arrange one's life to enjoy it, in happiness and love.
I think we are defined by our choices, and our perceptions. These things are unique to us and would be even if we were clones. We are this bit of the universe manifesting itself. I think we should do what feels right and be happy and healthy, and feel free to love.

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Z

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I don't really know. I've always believed that the ego was more a distraction. It gets in the way when we want to learn. It remembers those things people have told us about ourselves. When you mediate it's the thing that jumps in there waving a flag around go look over here.
I honestly don't know what I identify with.

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