question only for buddhist practitioners (laity), is ok for a lay practitioner to be chaste?
As a lay practicioner of buddhism ( not talking about monkhood) is ok to be chaste, to practise chastity, even not being a monk ? I know from the point of view of the Dhamma there's no restriction against having sex ( with morality) if you're not a monk. But, what if I want to practice chastity by now, until I get married or have a girlfriend? I mean, according to the Dhamma is ok to live like that?
If you're not buddhist or at least don't have any good knowledge, please don't answer this question.
The Pancha Shila, or five moral precepts:
1. Avoid killing, or harming any living thing.
2. Avoid stealing -- taking what is not yours to take.
3. Avoid sexual irresponsibility, which for monks and nuns means celibacy.
4. Avoid lying, or any hurtful speech.
5. Avoid alcohol and drugs which diminish clarity of consciousness.
You may be chaste as a lay person if this is what serves you. There are no restrictions to this. You need not be a monk to practice any of the sort. You may even take the vow of a Bodhisattva as a lay person, if this is the path you wish to journey. There are no restrictions to BE as the Buddha as we are all of the Buddha and all Buddhas. Lest you come across one on the road...
Buddhist teaching recognizes that sexuality contains the potential for both great joy and enormous suffering.
Sexuality can create suffering whenever we cannot perceive the impulses that urge us to action. When something is unseen, it nearly always creates a problem. And - unfortunately - most human beings have very little insight into sexuality and sexual impulses.
That's why the Buddha created rules for monks and nuns designed to help them avoid entanglement in the suffering produced by these impulses. And he encouraged lay practitioners to enter into committed, lasting relationships that could provide a container for sexual experience.
The Buddha specifically defined sexual misconduct as intercourse with those who are "protected" by their family, spouse, or the law. And, of course, in the Buddha's time, all people were protected by one of these groups - no one existed independently of family, partner or the law.
It's a little different today - we tend to view ourselves as independent and think that, if both parties consent, then there's no problem. But it's unlikely that the Buddha would hold this view, if he were alive today.
So . . . the simple answer is that you can certainly maintain celibacy until you enter into a committed relationship. This path would be very much in accord with the Dharma.
But there's also a deeper level to your question, something you might want to consider. You might ask yourself "why" you wish to maintain celibacy. Do you wish to remain celibate out of some idea about Buddhism? Do you wish to remain celibate in order to further your spiritual attainment? Do you wish to remain celibate to reduce the suffering in the world?
You will have your own answers to these questions, of course, and the answers don't matter nearly as much as the investigation into such questions.
In the end, the Buddha hoped that his teachings would turn human beings away from their intense self-absorption and toward the world around us.
Sexuality, as you surely know, may be one of the most intense areas of self-absorption. When we can work skillfully with it, we might help this whole world. And that's the point of Buddhism.
Everyone is allowed to be chaste - to my knowledge there is no restriction against it in Buddhism (even if you aren't going to be a monk).
And, word to the wise, if you are looking for only good, solid, knowledgeable answers - Yahoo Answers is an unlikely place to find them.
Yes, indeed. That's what safe-sex is for a Buddhist. It's safe from falling into immoral lifestyle. Wife and Husband - agreed to have a contract voluntarily to give up their love and their physical desires to each other. They must not break the agreement. Sacca - truthfulness must be maintained. By breaking that contract, one loses morality. One without morality cannot reach higher ground.
A good person generally doesn't have excessive sensual desires. Moderating all desires will lead to no foul but the stability of the mind. Being possessed by mania will lead to mental trouble.
Living with own partner and avoiding others' is the limit of moderate way or where the line is drawn.
Buddhism, as much as I know, doesn't have the view of gf or bf. As long as a person is living under his/her guardian such as parents of siblings, he/she shouldn't be taken away without agreement of the guardians. There is no actual rule or ceremonial ritual of wedding in Buddhism. Permission of the guardians is what all you needed to become husband and wife.
Whatever sexual activity happening behind these guardians is viewed KÄmesu-micchÄcÄra. If both sides agree to go for that, both side commit KÄmesu-micchÄcÄra. But that's depending on the actual mental state of each person during that activity.
So yes, chastity is the only way to avoid wrongdoing. To become chastity, two must be agreed by the guardians from both sides - as that means the two become husband and wife officially. Wearing rings is a different expression which people can have too.
Sacca: 'Truth'. - 1. On the 'two truths', conventional and ultimate, see paramattha
KÄmesu-micchÄcÄra: lit. 'wrong or evil conduct with regard to sensual things'; 'unlawful sexual intercourse' refers to adultery, and to intercourse with minors or other persons under guardianship. The abstaining from this unlawful act is one of the 5 moral rules see: binding upon all Buddhists. Through any other sexual act one does not become guilty of the above transgression, which is considered a great crime. The monk, however, has to observe perfect chastity. http://what-buddha-said.net/library/Buddhist.Dictionary/dic3_k.htm
Chastity of the monk is debatable. In some Buddhist sects, monks are allowed to have a wife. But in southern Buddhism, perfect celibacy is the only way.