anyone hate their p...
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anyone hate their parent ? feeling like being 'pressed' by them ?


Community Member

my parent divorce.. i lived once with my mom who is temperament and often abused me physically and emotionally by threaten to dump me out from home, it is really scary for me as a child...
then i live with my dad, he's full with negative thinking and so pride with his ego.. so i often have a deep conflict..
but now i live alone, rent a small room... still in college..
i don't hate my mom anymore since she's now active in spiritual community..
but sometimes a very big hatred arise when it comes to my father.. the story how i rent a small room is i was dumped from house.. he still pay for my college and daily fees.. but i can't stand being 'pressed'... i was threaten by not affording me anymore, pushing me to get a job.. and now i suffer from depression.. fear of being homeless, jobless that makes me can't concentrate both in my college and also in finding a career... i also ask him for some money to start small business but he seems just like want to see me suffer !
tell me your story?
i know you would say 'don't hate' or etc..
i'm also trying to overcome it... my father got cancer so i can't hate him.. but i really suffer emotionally... my childhood is much more painful that what i can write here..
i just want to know your stories.. so we can learn from our stories...
sometimes my subconscious is haunted by fear caused from words of my father...
the problem is i can't overcome my depression with those disturbing subconscious.. it makes me can't do anything.. can't concentrate on my education.. on getting a job..
sometimes i'm haunted by fear caused by his threat... and he also so negative.. the world is hard.. people are bad, tricky.. make money is more harder and harder each day.. you should this, that...
it's hard to explain in words..
it just he makes me feel like being a leech..

3 Answers
Community Member

You are really caught between them. When our survival is threatened, our defense mode seeks to resolve the survival issues first. This is why you are having attention difficulties with your school work.
It doesn't seem like you will be able to change your Dad's opinions, beliefs or threats toward you. Its a haggle. My suggestion is that you do meditation (with focus on your school work and just general peace). You will be fortified greater, and will have the increased likelyhood that you will ward off such displacements, and will be less likely to be permeated. Also, ask our Heavenly Father in prayer to keep your Dad away from attacking you. Release your burdens to Him in prayer and know that he hears you.

Community Member

I understand how it feels, though I'm only 11. My parents are the same way, only they're not divorced. I don't mean to curse them, but I think they almost are. I am often physically and emotionally abused. I hope you have good luck with juggling your college and job and stuff around. I have never heard them say that they loved me or appreciate. My mother treats me like a slave. My father is a monster. I have multiple scars . . . I wish I could just die. It feels like that is the only solution, because death seems an escape route that has no worries and no fears.
P.S. Could you also answer my question? Look in the Health>Mental Health section for "Am I fat? What is wrong with me?" -Terri

Community Member

I think everyone, at some point, has those same feelings. I grew up with an alcoholic, emotionally abusive father, who used guilt and threats to manipulate me and my emotions. My mother was completely submissive and never helped. He was definitely the "pressing" type. He was the type of parent who said that an "A" was not good enough, told me I was fat (I was a size 2) and always said I was worthless. He actually had my life planned for me. Go to college, gain an MBA at 24-25, get married at 30, have kids at 35 when I am established in the business world. As a child and teen, I was completely dependent on my dad because that's how I was raised. I was made to feel worthless, like I needed him to survive. When I did decide to make my own decisions, he threatened and tried to stop me if he could. When I decided to leave for an out-of-state college, he refused to pay for any of the tuition, living expenses, or books. I worked my butt off to pay for as much tuition as I could and took out student loans for the rest. When I moved in with my boyfriend (now husband), he threatened to slam me against a wall if I came home and then changed the home phone number when I moved out (and didn't give me the new one). That was probably the best thing for me.
Once I was out on my own two feet, I was able to look at myself. I was able to identify my strengths and weaknesses myself and realized how manipulative my dad was and how wrong he was. The silence from my father allowed me to gain some perspective and become totally self-sufficient.
Now, I've been happily married for 6 years. I will have my doctorate in a year (all paid for by me and student loans). I have 3 beautiful dogs and 3 cars (although 2 were used). My husband and I rent a 3 bedroom house and will buy one when I graduate. My older and younger brothers still rely on him, as my parents pay for their car payments, car insurance, cell phones, and part of my younger brother's rent. Being able to prove my dad wrong, that I wasn't worthless, has given me so much strength and improved my self-esteem.
I still love my father. I realized that when he had a heart attack last year, but I am still resentful for what he did. Our relationship will never be the loving father-daughter relationship you see in the sitcoms, but he's still my dad. He still tries to use guilt and threats to get to me, but I know better now. Give yourself some time and you will figure out what you need and what is best for you.