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Feminists: What have you done today to encourage women to leave their husbands and practice witchcraft?

I’m afraid I haven’t done a thing today to encourage women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians, as Pat Robertson says feminists do. What have you done today to be a good feminist? There’s a toaster oven in it for you, or so I”ve heard.
Sash-I have no idea how or why you would get my questions sent to you. If I could stop it, I definitely would!

22 COMMENTS

  1. I told my good friend to leave the looser and do things on her own and to stop depending on him for every single thing. This is not a guys world anymore…

  2. You rock!!! Thanks for dispelling one of those silly myths in such a imaginative way. We are inudated with these delusions, yet some choose to believe them. As feminists it is important to get the word across what feminism is. I would just like to add we don’t eat puppies or kittens either.

  3. i described the difference between paganism, wicca, & witchcraft…. does that count?? i did it in a nonjudgmental way, as i used to be wiccan & am currently a nontheistic pagan…

  4. I informed some of my third world friends that it’s actually the male who determines the sex of their offspring, so they shouldn’t beat themselves up for having daughters instead of sons. What they will do with that little tidbit of info, I can’t say. I didn’t have to encourage them to kill their children since they’ve been drowning female babies for centuries. They don’t mind posing in photographs with missionaries and they just love Pat Robertson.
    I was thinking I might drop in at the welfare office tomorrow and convince all the pregnant teenagers to follow me over to the abortion clinic. I’ll make a fortune from those stem cells, and Satan will laugh in delight. My lesbian friends and I will then bathe in the blood of virgins and masturbate with crosses to heavy metal music.

  5. I filed for divorce, put my husband’s picture on the floor, and sprinkled chicken’s blood around it. Then I burned the flag and my bra in the front yard, danced around the fire, naked, and dragged the good, upstanding, Dockers-clad Republican Christian who lives next store into my bed.
    Then I did the ultimate nasty. I read a book and the newspaper, putting myself way ahead of Pat Robertson and his brain-dead followers.
    The newspaper I read is the Washington Post. I strongly urge all women, at the end of the hellish years of the Idiot Boy Regime, to start using their minds again and start arming themselves to battle for their rights.

  6. Beckyroe again, I have added you to my spam list you f’in troll. And I have cast a very evil spell on you and your trollish ways.

  7. I haven’t killed any of my children today they are bigger then me and I don’t own a gun. I haven’t encouraged a friend to leave her husband, however I have taught a couple of them how to subliminally suggest that they commit suicide. I think that should count towards my witchy points. Quicker, neater and you get 100% instead of 50%. I work deligently every day to become a conciencest and minamalist consumer. I must make a confession though GASP I baked a cake . I like cake.

  8. Thanks for the chuckle! This is a good one! I was too busy today taking care of my daughter and then coming in to work a 12.5 hour night shift to actually be a good feminist today. I will try harder tomorrow.

  9. Wow . . . nothing. Is Pat Robertson going to take away my feminist card now? Or can he make an exception and give me the toaster oven?

  10. Good question. Prior to my 12 and 15 year old sons returning home from school today, I was quite busy with preparations. I prepared the chicken feet as usual, preserving the blood to rub on my husbands testicles while he’s sleeping to turn him into a feminist. I flavored our stew with a secret feminist recipe handed down from generations of witch craft practicing feminists. I then burned sage and said my chant (my favorite ritual). It must have worked because when my sons got home from school they unloaded the dishwasher, did some laundry, and vacuumed.
    Where’s my toaster oven? I will make sure my boys prepare all their own meals in it from now on! LOL!

  11. waswisgirl, get on the ball. Time’s a-wasting. There are still a few hours before midnight to do some of the things you mentioned.
    Granted, most of the day is gone, so why not focus on those at which you’re most effective. In the few remaining hours, you might be able to persuade a few impressionable women to kill their children and leave their husbands. Hell, with your charm, I’m sure you can make a lesbian out of a couple of ’em while you’re at it.
    Leave the destruction of capitalism for another day – same with witchcraft – These women would have to buy witching supplies, and Walmart’s closing as we speak.
    Then again, tomorrow’s another day.

  12. Well, let me see. . . Oh, I hung some chicken’s feet over the oven to dry and I howled at the moon this AM before sun rise, then I called 10 women and told them that they should leave their husbands but here I break from the Patti R stereotype in that I don’t advocate killing children. After all, they can lend you money when they get a job and you can live with them in your old age. I am finding capitalism resistant to the curse I put on it with the Chicken’s feet but I think if I add some goats blood, sooner or later, capitalism will come tumbling down.
    Keep the toaster oven, send me a bottle of vodka.

  13. Pat Robertson has said a lot of crazy things, and isn’t a responsible spokesman for much of anything. On the other hand, there are Wiccan feminists, and a lot of anti-Christian feminists. It’s not uncommon for feminists to treat marriage as an intrinsically oppressive institution. It’s no stretch to interpret this as encouragement for women to leave their husbands. Killing children? I’ve never heard any feminist call that a good thing.
    ___I suppose you’re as justified in citing Pat Robertson as anti-feminists are in citing Mary Daly. Every movement has its wackos, and every wacko has some followers, and their extremisms reflect the weaknesses of the movement. It’s a sad world, no matter where you stand.

  14. You talk about Witchcraft as if it’s a bad thing ;)…
    edit
    Apparently I didn’t know much about what feminists are all about until I started reading this particular category of answers and question… but apparently you guys don’t support marriage, support witchcraft and atheism, freedom of feminine sexuality (without the name calling!), and lesbianism…
    …is it wrong of me as a man to find all that kinda hot? lol. Incoming negative votes.

  15. great question. i have done all of those things, and more. i went to an evil, man hating women’s studies class today, where we did nothing but talk about how men have ruined the world. then i went to go outside for a stroll, but was disgusted when a man held the door open for me. i screamed at him for about an hour, until i was tired. and then i went home and prayed to false idols while clutching “the scum manifesto.” just another wednesday for me.

  16. I’m afraid I haven’t done nearly enough…I’m such a slacker. But I promise I’ll do better…
    Hey, who knows where I can buy live chickens?
    I’ll also be needing a snake…

  17. Gee! Is this what feminists do? I thought I was because I want to be treated equally, in the workplace, in wages, and in commerce. I guess I had better get busy and find a coven or something. I have to draw the line at killing my children. I expect them to care for me in my old age.

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