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Ego/ higher consciousness struggle?

I have stifled the higher conscious/ inner/ god energy (which generally comes through writing)for years because the revelations I was experiencing were giving me severe panic attacks.
I kept being reassured not to be afraid, but still I am. I am afraid to trust for fear of becoming severely mentally ill (that’s if us crackpots aren’t already!). But I also have realised that deep down I am keen to continue.
Is there anyone else who understands what I am going on about here?
Are you going through this or have you overcome it? Are you happy to take two minutes to talk to me and offer any guidance please?

8 Comments

  • I kind of understand, I had an experience several years ago when I had a vision. at the time I found it disturbing, and impossible to comprehend.
    It took me years to come to terms with and fully understand,

    I learnt to look within and know myself, to find the God, Holy Spirit or higher power within and trust in it. As you must also learn, you wont go crazy if you learn to relax, don’t fight it, let it carry you.
    I believe meditation would be helpful for you in coming to know and accept your true self. and not the representation of your ego that pretends to be you.
    its easy to do.

    How to meditate
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0rSmxsVHPE

    Its not possible to serve Two masters, there is truth in that.
    enjoy the Journey.

  • Your ego is the only part of you that is experiencing fear. Ego knows it’s fighting a losing battle. Ego was never meant to be in control. So, know your fear is from ego and that will make it easier to get rid of. What you write down, don’t worry about it. Do you focus mentally on good or bad things? It makes a difference. What you are given is not a personal thing, it is just knowledge.

  • So how is it working out being me?
    And oh by the way, have I decided what exactly that entails?
    Years of delusion, Pride, Vanity and always guilty
    These destructive friends have been the wind in my sails
    While all along I have floated within your ocean of love.

    Silent and perfect has been your strength and patience
    While I and my ego have believed in only one thing from the start
    My ability to ever truly be separate from you, my creative essence
    So is it true that you desire the love of my heart?
    This hearts so full of abandon and found broken and poor?

    Perhaps I am stronger than I think.
    Perhaps I am even afraid of my strength
    And turn it against myself, thus making myself weak.
    Making myself secure. Making myself guilty.
    Perhaps I am most afraid of the strength of God in me.

    But you know what it is to feel this way don’t you my Lord?
    You weren’t acting that night in the garden or day of the Cross
    Your faith in your father as a perfect model for us, my Lord
    I ask only that I may get it, apply it, and carry my own Cross
    But I ask for your help in this fight between my ego and your light

    So my dear Lord and brother how do I empty me and enter you?
    This discursive logic and desire to be seen by men as right
    It tells me, there is no need to engage this fight from my pew
    Surely, he will over look your ego and judge my heart a worthy plight
    But your spirit tells me that I must empty me to enter you

    Perhaps I am stronger than I think.
    Perhaps I am even afraid of my strength
    And turn it against myself, thus making myself weak.
    Making myself secure. Making myself guilty.
    Perhaps I am most afraid of the strength of God in me.

  • The Buddhist speak of ego death, fear is just ego running scared, if you’re nothing then there’s nothing to fear.

    In other words stop freaking yourself out.

  • Self fulfilling psychosis.

    Try to spend as much time in the real world as possible, no matter how awesome you think your “revelations” are.

    From where I stand, its just in your head… unless… let me take a look at these writings!

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