I don’t know where to start. I’ve heard that awakenings start up usually by a tragic event that takes place in one’s life. I noticed around 11th grade right around when one of my cousins died I began to feel unfamiliar feelings. I would sometimes withdraw myself completely from groups. I had a terminal sense of loneliness and depression followed by euphoria, mania and apathy. All the way through the rest of high school these feelings began to intensify. I began to fight back against these changes and the results were pure hell. Nothing but nightmares and discomfort. By the time I was out of high school I had almost entirely withdrawn from society itself, then slowly but surely my family. For the past year or so it felt like the top of my head was about to pop off from all of the activity in my crown. I cry a lot more than I used to. I’m prone to bouts of extremely distracting ringing in the ears and I’ve witnessed increased headaches, body aches and ESP phenomena. What do you think?
I will tell you the positives to what seem to be the negatives. I am striving to get out, but I will be honest and say I enjoy the solitude. Don’t worry about this being a form of denial, I love meditation and relaxation techniques and to do that requires solitude. I’m beginning to pray pretty much daily, and I am acknowledging that such episodes can be dismissed as psychotic episodes due to isolation. After a while I grew to accept the isolation and use it as time to find out who I really am. I started reading scripture more. Hebrews11:6
But without our faith it is impossible to please Him,
for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that
He is the rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Hebrews 11:6.
I have been praying and praying that God will come into my life and make positive changes. Just to name a couple good changes within the past couple of months: I have a greater appreciation of things as they are and I’ve released grudges I’ve had since grade school.
I have been off of medication (ritalin) since 6th grade. I have only been given ibuprofen for a shoulder injury in 10th grade, skelaxin and ibuprofen for my lower back when I was 18. I’ve had mild pain in that region for about 7 years but it peaked after I turned 18, and I noticed that’s when everything either went downhill or began a spiritual awakening because that’s where all of the events started getting out of control. In many cases back, neck and shoulder pains have been the precursors to people’s awakenings due to changes on the physiological level. An awakening of energy so to speak. I noticed I began to develop slight ESP capability such as simple precognition after my back pain kicked up. A couple years later I frequently find myself finishing other people’s sentences or saying what they were going to say before they even get a chance to say it. I can go on and on but you can only say so much with 1,000 characters.