I don’t know where to start. I’ve heard that awakenings start up usually by a tragic event that takes place in one’s life. I noticed around 11th grade right around when one of my cousins died I began to feel unfamiliar feelings. I would sometimes withdraw myself completely from groups. I had a terminal sense of loneliness and depression followed by euphoria, mania and apathy. All the way through the rest of high school these feelings began to intensify. I began to fight back against these changes and the results were pure hell. Nothing but nightmares and discomfort. By the time I was out of high school I had almost entirely withdrawn from society itself, then slowly but surely my family. For the past year or so it felt like the top of my head was about to pop off from all of the activity in my crown. I cry a lot more than I used to. I’m prone to bouts of extremely distracting ringing in the ears and I’ve witnessed increased headaches, body aches and ESP phenomena. What do you think?
I will tell you the positives to what seem to be the negatives. I am striving to get out, but I will be honest and say I enjoy the solitude. Don’t worry about this being a form of denial, I love meditation and relaxation techniques and to do that requires solitude. I’m beginning to pray pretty much daily, and I am acknowledging that such episodes can be dismissed as psychotic episodes due to isolation. After a while I grew to accept the isolation and use it as time to find out who I really am. I started reading scripture more. Hebrews11:6

But without our faith it is impossible to please Him,
for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that
He is the rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Hebrews 11:6.

I have been praying and praying that God will come into my life and make positive changes. Just to name a couple good changes within the past couple of months: I have a greater appreciation of things as they are and I’ve released grudges I’ve had since grade school.
I have been off of medication (ritalin) since 6th grade. I have only been given ibuprofen for a shoulder injury in 10th grade, skelaxin and ibuprofen for my lower back when I was 18. I’ve had mild pain in that region for about 7 years but it peaked after I turned 18, and I noticed that’s when everything either went downhill or began a spiritual awakening because that’s where all of the events started getting out of control. In many cases back, neck and shoulder pains have been the precursors to people’s awakenings due to changes on the physiological level. An awakening of energy so to speak. I noticed I began to develop slight ESP capability such as simple precognition after my back pain kicked up. A couple years later I frequently find myself finishing other people’s sentences or saying what they were going to say before they even get a chance to say it. I can go on and on but you can only say so much with 1,000 characters.

4 Comments

  • It is hard to decipher between spiritual awakening & a mental disorder if you have presenting mental and/or emotional symptoms…Especially if you are taking any medicines, that could cause euphoria…Manic Depression (aka Bipolar Disorder) causes bouts of severe depression, along with episodes of mania/unexplained euphoria, so it is best you see a psychiatrist for that to determine what’s the issue.

    Personally, I have experienced a spiritual awakening in the past, and it was quite remarkable…However, you sound like you have some issues that need to be dealt with, and some unnerving symptoms that you may need psychiatric care for…There is nothing to be ashamed of–it’s just that you probably will need to talk with an experienced professional about all this stuff with…To be honest, I’ve experienced a lot of what you’re speaking of, and I got help. It’s just all about taking care of yourself!! Your health & well-being are what is critical to your being able to live a healthy, spiritual life!!

    *P.S,
    NO ONE is a lost cause!!! REMEMBER that!!!

  • If there is such a thing as a spiritual awakening, then maybe you have one. Otherwise, it’s a classic case of cyclical depression.

    On the other hand, spritual wakening might be a variation of craziness. Freud thought that Saint Paul’s spiritual awakening was real enough. He actually analyzed it. It was still a form of craziness though–although a cool form of craziness.

  • You’re socially withdrawn….

    Your consciousness is trying to find a way of relieving this depression with illusions of grandeur (in your case the illusions of ESP and psychic phenomena: Also intense cases of Deja Vu in the form of psychic premonitions in some people)

    You’ve become so withdrawn and despondent that your mind is playing tricks on you. Intense emotional stress takes a huge toll on the physical portion of the body…

    You should see a psychotherapist or doctor and discuss these feelings with them, before it worsens…

    I implore you to seek professional mental health advice.

  • Could be a spiritual awakening. Could be epilepsy. Could be mental illness. You need to see a doctor to rule out the last two possibilities before you can seriously consider the first.

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