Home Discussion Forum Do you think surrendering to another persons ego, even your beloved's is...

Do you think surrendering to another persons ego, even your beloved's is not a spiritual act?


  1. Supporting and up lifting is much different then
    “Feeding one’s ego” which does no good to either parties,
    usually the hand that feeds is bitten.

  2. I think that when you surrender to someone else’s ego, it is a spiritual act. (mind you, I’m not speaking in the religious sense of the term “spiritual”.) To put it in the most simple terms, why else would you submit to another person’s will, if not out of devotion to them?
    In domestic violence situations the person that is being abused, and who submits themselves completely to the will of the abusive partner, does so out of an unshakable belief in the abuser’s ability to change their ways. It is a spiritual submission in the sense of it being an act of faith in the other person.
    To willingly place yourself in a situation where you will be ruled by someone else is a completely selfless act. I did it, once, and so I’m speaking from experience.

  3. Shakespeare’s sonnet 116 answers this, I believe:
    Let me not to the marriage of true minds
    Admit impediments. Love is not love
    Which alters when it alteration finds,
    Or bends with the remover to remove
    So, no I do not think it is a spiritual act to bend for another’s ego, if anything you will do them and yourself spiritual harm, harmful to them because it is reinforcing their own false sense of themselves, that they are the mind and body. They will only feel more secure in the false identity of ‘I want or I am this’ illusion, illusions that die with the body, a fleeting identity and ego that changes with each thought, and each desire. Desires that are as changeable as circumstances, a will that is weak and dictated by circumstances.
    And it does you harm because it will defeat your Will to accept yourself in the moment.
    But more harmful to them from a spiritual point of view.

  4. Surrender is about our ability to let go of our boundaries and natural protective mechanisms enough to let someone into our intimate chambers of the soul.
    However, there’s a danger in surrendering too much and losing our identity. Women are renowned for doing this. Took me 10 years to stop calling myself Mrs. (his first, his last name) and retrieve my own name and become Mrs. (my given name, his last name) and get my sense of identity back. We do it so easily. But it’s not healthy to surrender your identity and I have a real problem when religion or anybody for that matter mis-interprets our vows of loyalty and love for another for surrender of all that God has naturally given us. Our souls, our core identities, are not really ours to hand over. In fact, retaining our individuality keeps the relationship vital and fresh and healthy. Empowered individuals have much to offer one another and to the children they produce. Surrender is simply giving away your own power to another.
    You’re talking about co-dependence. There’s tons of books on this subject. It’s debilitating, crippling, sacrificial, and unhealthy.

  5. Spiritual acts are done by spiritual people. I am spiritual, so I would think it was. But there are many, many motives that get folks through their day.

  6. once my honey surrendered to my ego. it was the ultimate trick to let my ego surrender too. surrender has the capacity to heal. no matter what you surrender to, the very quality heals.

  7. Ego is definitely not a gud thing. However, surrendering to someone’s ego can be explained as a gesture to keep things in control. In a husband wife relationship if both are egoistic then things can turn to be drastic. thus, it is no bad in surrendering before someone’s ego as it will be an act of maturity rather than an actual surrender.

  8. I don’t believe the ego is the part of me that loves. I won’t surrender to my own, much less another’s. I may surrender to them, but not their conditioning.

  9. Ego is nothing but establishment of ones supremacy in all Fields though it is related him/her or not. If few people nurture this type of character of a person, then it is good as giving a person Godly character. After few years, this person will become Devil for some one who do not bend in front of him/her and good for those who obeys him./her. You are the better judge on this topic. Hope you will…………………… !

  10. It sounds spiritual, because people have such confused notions about what the ego is. Charlie Manson had a whole platoon of females who surrendered to him. I wouldn’t surrender to another person willingly; this is how slaves are made. It’s good to have role models; it’s also good to be a role model. Surrender should be reserved for the divinity in you and the divinity in others, and even then you still have to have your feet on the ground.

  11. Definitely it is not a spiritual act. But it is a very humanly reciprocal to maintain the relationship. It is based on the saying only if two hands join the clap starts. This is an echo of Jesus saying that if somebody slaps on your right cheek show the left cheek. It is not surrender. It is a strong will power as shown by Mahatma Gandhi to out do the British.

  12. i’m not sure i understand.. what would it mean to submit to someone else’s ego? but yeah, i don’t think it would be spiritual.
    i like unity in diversity’s answer.

  13. It is not a spiritual act in my eyes no. I feel anyone who uses the ego to be masterful is nothing short of a bully and needs to be told so……………………………

  14. Anything embedded in ego is still ego-driven…so, of course, the question arises whether your surrrender was from the ego as well. If so, then what has been accomplished but the reinforcement of two egos, unconscious, asleep, dreaming? If the surrender entailed “awakening” on your part (dissolving the ego so that no separation from the other is discerned), then, of course, a higher consciousness or enlightenment has happened. There is only one Beloved in whom Love is shared…we all are one in the One.
    i am Sirius


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