Home Discussion Forum Did I reap what I sowed or is she playing mind games?

Did I reap what I sowed or is she playing mind games?

When I first met her we had been dating a couple of months before she met my parents. At the time I introduced her as a friend and I was wrong to do so (because she was more than a friend) and I apologized to her though I never went back and cleared it up with my parents…it just never crossed my mind because my family is not personal with each other like that. My family knows that any woman my brothers and I bring around the family is more than likely a girlfriend, fiance or someone we care about deeply.
At any rate, two years later she cheats on me and gets engaged to the guy weeks after we broke up (during the time I thought we were trying to reconcile and had no idea there was someone else). During a conversation I had with her recently she tells me “Karma’s a ***** isn’t it…” She goes on to explain that while we were together I told my family she was a “friend.” She says that she felt disrespected and hurt and that is why I’m suffering and hurting now.
She tells me she loves me all the time, every single day but it’s only to me she tells that. But her myspace page confesses her undying love for her fiance (the guy she cheated on me with). I didn’t know it meant that much to her for her to hold on to it for 2 years, never said anything else about it until after she was caught cheating…Am I being punished because I stupidly didn’t go back and straighten out the friend introduction I made to my parents or is she using that as a way to justify her wrong? It seems a bit petty to me and eventhough I know I was wrong is that enough to justify cheating and lying?


  1. It’s as if you dodged a bullet with that girl. Thankfully this happened to you while you were just dating and not married.

  2. Count yourself lucky that you did not introduce her as a girlfriend. This is not someone you want to spend your life with, now is it.
    She will be the one to suffer with all her lies and secrecy (she should have just told you how she felt then) and her cheating, not you.
    Move on and find someone else.

  3. If she went that crazy over you introducing her as a just a friend, then I don’t know . . . a bit too crazy for my taste. Definitely don’t think it warrants what she’s doing – if that is the reason she’s doing it. I’d think you got lucky that she revealed how overreactive she is BEFORE you were more serious.

  4. Thats the stupidest excuse for cheating i had EVER heard. You didnt deserve even a little bit of that situation. She is either psycho or trying to justify her desicion to cheat on you. FOrget about that bitch, anyone who would cheat on you, regardless of what you did is NOT someone you want to be with. SHe is playin the Sh!t outta you. Trust me, I have BEEN there.

  5. No, I don’t think you’re being punished for the “friend” thing by anyone. And I do not think there is any justification for lying and cheating in a long term relationship.
    I suspect she may have been wanting a commitment of marriage from you and when she didn’t think she was ever going to get it, she decided to move on. (Just a guess based on what you’ve told us.)
    But if that was the case, she should have been honest with you about it. Instead she is using the friend incident as an excuse for her behavior.
    I agree with a lot of the other answers…count yourself lucky that you found out her true character before you married her! I hope you find someone wonderful…Blessings!

  6. Sush man. Shes a bish. You may have made an error, but you apologized and explained. if she really loved u she would have understood and asked u to clear it up with ure parents. she didnt really love u. forget it. get drunk. date somone else and DONT let it show that she hurt u. k? im sorry about that

  7. wooooooooooww!!! she CHEATED on you! that’s 1000000x worse than what you did! (which was barely NOTHING). don’t let it get to you. if she really loved you, she would be more understanding. if she was a worthwhile girlfriend, this whole thing would have never happened, and she most definitely would have been able to talk it out with you soon after it happened. to say the least is that i feel sorry for her new fiance 😉

  8. She’s a player. You are emotionally grounded enough to understand what she told you and HOW this type of thing might hurt a girlfriend so I already KNOW you have a conscience and are the type of person who “plays for real.” She messed up and is using the ONLY thing she thinks she can to justify it. That’s saying a pretty good thing for you if the only thing she can come up with is this one “very small” hurt. None of us are perfect…we are like babes learning how to grow into the ultimate “Son’s of God” that is our destiny. Don’t let her deception lure you into moping around over this one thing that I am sure, God has already forgiven and may NOT be as upset about as He is MANY other things going on right now around the world!
    She is using your emotions and feelings and by “staying down there blaming yourself” you are letting her get by with “proverbial murder.” LEAVE this relationship and move on to someone who truly deserves a good one. I am SURE there are millions of young women out there who would love to have someone “so thoughtful.” What we ask for is not that you be perfect…but that if you mess up, that you acknowledge it and make amends for it…you tried to! God has ALREADY forgiven you! Now YOU must accept it and understand that you cannot and probably SHOULD not follow any path to further this type of relationship. What she is doing is like emotional kidnapping…and to her, its just a game. Find someone wonderful…they are out there!
    Blessing to You,

  9. What did you do wrong, coz what you said is not a reason for how she has behaved, yeah you should have introduced her as you gf, it would of made her feel that your embarressed to call her your gf, but she is DEFINATLY using that as an excuse, let this other bloke put up with her now, dont look at it that your being punished coz you didnt really do anything wrong, you screwed up abit but still not good enough for her to do that, sounds like your well rid of her, get her out your mind, coz your now punishing yourself for her mistakes


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