HomeDiscussion ForumCould this be the cause of my anxiety and phobia?

Could this be the cause of my anxiety and phobia?

I just found out today that I witnessed violence against my mother when I was about 3 or 4. Apparently I only saw it once, but did hear them argue violently extensively. I don’t remember this in my conscious mind, but I guess I might in my subconscious mind. I know that what I was told is true.
Could witnessing violence like that be the reason that I have anxiety when it is time to go to sleep at night and could it be the reason I am fearful that someone is going to hurt me (especially at night)?
I need answers from people who know what they are talking about. Please tell me how you know your answer.
Thank you!
This is a very serious question. Please don’t answer if you don’t have a clue. Narcotics and alcohol? I didn’t ask what I should do about this, I asked about the cause.


  1. I is very likely that this early life trauma has affected you.
    I would suggest talking to your doctor, and having him prescribe some strong narcotic to force you to sleep.
    You may also want to combine the narcotic with alcohol, and perhaps some other drugs.
    This should make you feel a lot better, and also help you deal with other problems (big and small).
    I hope this helps.
    Remember; You can only face the future if you leave the past.

  2. You have asked a VERY complex question. The cause of anxiety can be very hard to pin point. I would advise you to seek out a counciler ASAP.

  3. You hit the nail right on it’s head!! Sounds like your reason is based on what you found out about that early trauma. I would bet money on it!! And I can hear you already know this.
    Now you can deal with your phobia by recognizing it for what it is, talking to it, making it your friend, and then finally biding it ado. I don’t mean to make that sound easy because it’s not. Nor is it a fast fix. But from the way you write, I really do think you can handle this. If not, others are waiting to help you overcome your fear. Good Luck!! @8-)

  4. My two adopted children were ages 16 months and 3 1/2 when they were removed from their home. They were witnesses to violence. It is unkown what exactly they might have been exposed to themselves, as they are too young to have a conscious memory.
    Both girls are extremely afraid of the dark, and seven years later, still duck if you make a sudden movement close to them, as if they expect me to strike them. They are afraid of loud noises, and don’t want to be alone in their rooms in the dark, and always need a light on in their rooms.
    They are afraid of shadows, and we use blue or purple lights in their rooms because they cast less shadows. They stick blankets and stuffed animals between the mattress and the wall to keep “monsters” from coming up through. We put rope lights underneath the bed so that they can see that there is nothing or no one under there.
    People have told me for years that they are “too young” to remember. Obviously not! They can’t tell you what they are afraid of, but they certainly know that they are frightened of something.
    I do think that there are some things that you can do to help yourself. Music has made an incredible difference for both girls.
    Soft music, that plays quietly and doesn’t change tempo much is soothing. We picked songs to download from Yahoo Music and Walmart.com music that was about sleeping, angels watching over them, etc, and burned them to cd. I have heard that music with pan flutes, nature sounds like ocean waves or rain also works. White noise (like a sound machine from Wal-Mart) tends to mask household noises that might wake you up and frighten you. Even a fan can make enough noise to do that.
    There are new sleeping pills that aren’t addictive that can help you relax at night, and make it easier to get to sleep. Ask your doctor.
    I think one of the really big parts of your success in over-coming the issue will be your flexibility, and your willingness to try different things to help you, and find out what works.
    For us, it was a combination of things. Both girls keep their bed-time routine the same, always pray that angels will guard them while they sleep, keep blue or purple lights on so that they know where they are immediately when they wake up, a comfortable temperature, soothing music, and a solid “written in stone” rule that anyone entering their room for ANY reason, or for any amount of time, will turn on the light immediately upon entering the room, lessoning the chance of them fearing imminent attack in the dark.
    We’re all willing to modify our behavior to make things easier for them. This makes them feel more secure, and eventually, things are getting easier for them, and they feel like they have more control over what is going on.
    Good luck!!

  5. It’s possible. I think that only you can truly know, you have to explore that within your mind. What are your feelings now about what you were told about the past? When you encounter people arguing violently now, how do you feel? Sometimes seeing a counselor can help – we sometimes shy away from the things that make us uncomfortable… counseling can help us confront things anyways.
    Something else that you might consider is that someone may recall things very differently than what you perceived at the time. It’s important to acknowledge the differences in perception of a 3 or 4 year old versus someone who’s older. Sometimes, later, we are told about things from someone else’s perspective, and we develop feelings about it that perhaps we never had.
    From my own experience with my past, I know that early experiences have had a significant impact on my level of anxiety and my ability to trust people, especially men. I don’t want to go so far as to extrapolate that to your experience… but I am suggesting that the possibility is there.

  6. OK – I’m not a doctor or even a specialist about that but I just wanted to tell you that you are completly knows what are you about and know the reason of your anxiety so your question is already answered through your mentioning connecting between that event in your childhood and your anxiety then you were ask about if that may cause or not I think you know the cause of what happeniong to you .. And I suggest you to look for your mother and tell her that and also tell her weather if you are sorry about that or not and however will be her reply or her reaction your conscience will be conscienced and you will sleep .. Also I don’t advice you to have any drugs or narcotize because that will cause you a bigger problem later and not to solve a problem is to make another huger problem ..


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