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Christian help please!?

after a year of nothing but trouble, a few months ago i had my spiritual awakening. i was sober for about three weeks, then the first party i decided to let myself go to, i drank. I felt so guilty. Those three weeks of sobriety were AMAZING god really worked through me and with me. Ever since the party, things just haven’t been the same. Why Don’t I feel so connected now?? Am i distancing myself from him because i know im being a hypocrite?? I like going to parties but, i know it’s not the right environment for me. this may be a dumb question but is there a way to do both? im once again sitting on the fence. one side is god, the other is a party social life. why is it so hard to decide? And where can i find friends that can actually have SOBER fun, i guess im not looking in the right place! ADVICE PLEASE!

22 COMMENTS

  1. I agree, I think that you should definitly look into some professional help such as counseling or rehab. Good luck to you, and God bless.

  2. Church IS the party! You have to know what you want. Find a fairly large church, so you can make some friends and hang out with. Our church always has parties for the youth. They have blast. The do all kinds of crazy things.

  3. What you did is known as a relapse.
    Get on your knees, tell God what you did and ask Him to forgive you. Then promise to never do it again, and pray several times a day for the strength to keep your promise. You will feel the peace of being forgiven.
    Then avoid any situation where this would be a temptation in the future!
    Go to Alcoholics Anonymous for help if you cannot do this alone. But don’t try to overcome this without God…you will fail.

  4. You might want to add AA to your Church attendance. You also need to accept the fact that God has already forgiven you and forgive yourself. When you can forgive yourself you will likely feel connected again. AA and church can both help you find a new and different social life. I recommend that you just don’t worry. God accepts all of us and most churches know that and won’t condemn you just because the cross you bear may seem heavier than most. Peace be with you.

  5. In a nutshell, Jesus said that you can NOT serve two masters.
    You must choose. God wants only what’s best for you. In fact, He sent HIS very best, Jesus Christ, to die a horrible death on a cross, just to set you free from your addictions to sin.
    If you continue to reject His instructions for your life, you will only have misery in this life, and possible rejection in the life to come. It’s true that God’s mercies are new every morning, but it’s also true that you can abuse His mercies to the point where they are withdrawn, and if you deliberately go back into a sinful lifestyle after tasting His grace, then …
    He has not moved away from you, but rather you have moved away from Him. The good news is that as soon as you turn around (ie repent), He is right there to catch you up in His loving arms of mercy and grace.
    BUT – you DO need to repent! Jesus said it, John the Baptist said it, all the old testament prophets said it.

  6. You will be fine with Jesus in your heart. Life is a journey & we all feel disconnected sometimes. If you don’t want to party don’t. Most churches have youth groups that do planned activities. Also good to get involved in a sport & those that choose health over partying. You can be very social without having to “party”. Try bicycling…cyclists are a VERY friendly group & most communities have clubs.
    Keep the faith babe.

  7. I think you need to strengthen your relationship with God first. Once that is stronger and you rely wholly on Him and no one else, and you have complete faith and trust in Him, then you could possibly go to a party.
    I had the same issue. I like to go to parties a lot and drink, and even after I was saved I still wanted to go because that’s pretty much all I had ever known, but really I needed to not go because I didn’t have to strength to not do what I thought was wrong. I fell to temptation. After that I stopped going, worked on my relationship with Him and also found friends that have been such a great support system. Now, I can hang out with them, and if I have a friend that wants me to go to a party I can, but I can withhold from doing what I know is wrong.
    It’s all about Him, if you surrender your life to Him, then your old life is over, and a new one has begun.

  8. You can find a lot of sober friends with Jehovah’s Witnesses. In our most recent magazine it tells the story of an alcoholic and how he became sober without AA. Do not give up just because you fell off the wagon. Keep trying and do not put yourself down for this error. My husband was an excessive drinker. He stopped drinking after he had by-pass surgery and has not drank since. That was 12 years ago. It is possible to stop drinking with God’s help. Just keep telling yourself that you are a good person. Look in the mirror when you say this. It helps. Then stay away from drinkers for awhile. Give yourself time to adjust. I wish you well in your search for a peaceful sober life.

  9. My friend, we will struggle against God’s will our whole lives fighting the lust of the flesh and the lust of things of this earth. The reason you are enjoying the partying so much is that you haven’t found a replacement. The thing to do is go make some new Christian friends. You can do this in church or groups and events that happen after church. Christians can have a lot of good wholesome fun too! You just have to search for those people and try some of the activities they do. Unfortunately when we surround ourselves with people who are living for the secular world we try and do the same thing. We get drawn back into our old habits! It happens to a lot of us. Ask God for his forgiveness and take it one day at a time. Each day get up and ask God to make it a good day and show you his will for the day. If you do this everyday, God will show you what he has planned for you in this life. When you accepted Jesus Christ as your saviour you gained a whole bunch of new brothers and sisters! Believe it or not that is true. For all truly saved souls are children of God. So, go find your new family and have some cookouts, go fishing, dancing, swimming, etc.. If they are really saved they will be happy to meet and have fun with their new brother! I will pray that you find them and God’s will in your life! Signed your new brother in Christ!….Josh
    P.S. There is something I forgot to add. Be sure to look at God as your father (i.e. your dad). That is what he is, I’ve met people who could only look at him as a supreme creator (i.e. an almighty deity). Well he is much more than that, he looks at you as his child, just like your mom and dad on earth look at you. He will love you no matter what, he wants you to build a relationship with him, tell him your fears, weaknesses, anger, resentments, everything! He wants that relationship with you!!! He will forgive you and will want you to forgive yourself as well. No father wants their child to not forgive theirselves for their faults and wallow in misery! He wants you to accept his forgiveness, pick yourself up and try again! He wants for you the very very best he has to offer! He really and truly does!

  10. Dear Hay –
    I understand where you are coming from. God says you are either with Him or against Him. He is not into “lukewarm” fence sitting stuff.
    Read and study the bible. Try to find a good bible study in your area. The best thing you can do at this point is decide if you want to live your life for Him or for yourself.
    It is ok to enjoy life and a glass of wine now and then but God specifically says to stay sober. So all out partying and getting drunk or high wouldn’t line up with being a Christian.
    I have been part of an amazing bible study for over a decade now. We use materials from Precept Ministries. They have a web site that lists bible studies going on all over the country, here is there web site:
    http://www.precept.org
    Hope this helps
    Sincerely – Redeemed (by the blood of the Lamb)

  11. One thing you have to remember is that God will not distance Himself from you. He is only as far away as being asked to be with you. Your guilt over letting yourself go again is what is making you feel as though you are further from Him, he is still right there, just allow Him back in. Forgive yourself your temporary weakness and continue to grow in your walk. Every believer, especially in the beginning, stumbles and falls on their face every now and then. Part of what makes one faithful is the willingness and backbone to get back into it despite the shame we feel for our failure.
    Ask for forgiveness and it is granted, beyond that if you still feel guilt it is because you haven’t forgiven yourself. So chalk it up to a bump in the road and get right back to your faith!
    As far as places to find sober fun, make some connections at your church. I was in the same place a few years back, before I met a few Christian friends that I now hang out with a lot! Without the pressure of people trying to get me to drink, I could more easily forget about my addiction and get over it. One tough issue with this is that I had to come clean with my new friends and let them know that I had the problem I had. You would be surprised how supportive other believers can be when they know! It is up to you, but I know, and Jesus knows you can do it!
    God Bless!

  12. A.A. has all kinds of sober parties and lots of fun, interesting, sober people anywhere from bluecollar to professionals. They all get together and have fun and suffer with and work through the same issues.
    They’re lots of A.A. dances, grill-outs, campouts, etc. etc. give them a call. You can find them in the phonebook and they are more than willing to extend a hand and to help. Also, A.A. is a spiritual based prrogram built on Christain values

  13. You are trying to do the right thing…..but you need to realize a few things first.
    Can you social drink? Meaning one or two and then switch to soft drinks?
    Are you an alcoholic? Are you confusing Christianity with alcoholism? I don’t think God would mind you having a nice glass of wine as long as you don’t over do it.

  14. This is choice we all face and choose on. Whether to love God or love ourselves. You feel so far apart because you’ve sinned against Him. You need to repent and forgive yourself. God will always forgive you.
    No there’s not a way to do both. It’s hard to decide because you’re not willing to give up your own desires for God. You should give them up.
    Romans 8:1-17
    1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,[a] 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature,[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.[c] And so he condemned sin in sinful man,[d] 4in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
    5Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6The mind of sinful man[e] is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; 7the sinful mind[f] is hostile to God. It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.
    9You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. 10But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.
    12Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation–but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. 13For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, 14because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.[g] And by him we cry, “Abba,[h] Father.” 16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirs–heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
    You could start looking at churches. But I’d recommend those Christian youth center things. Just look around.

  15. No- there is no fence sitting with God. I think you also need to have some help at a Christian rehab where people help you be healed through Jesus. You do need to separate yourself from that crowd, since it seems that when you party with them you fall. Three weeks of sobriety- that is great but when you are desiring to follow God for that sobriety, you cannot go back to where you were. You need to realize that you are a new creature in Christ. First of all, have you accept Christ as your Savior? That is really the first step because without Christ you and I cannot live the life that pleases God.
    Sorry to say, you cannot do both, if that party scene causes you to stumble. Do you go to a true Christian church- where you can have fun but still stay clear of drinking and other things that are not pleasing to God or healthy to you? Let me know what your spiritual awakening was- some are true and some are not- email if you can and want to talk more. God bless, and I will pray that you will look to Jesus- and away from the temptation- remember you can get help from a rehab center.

  16. Start by staying away from bad associations. Then avoid people, places and things that will trigger your mood to drink. You don’t have to distance yourself from God. This is when you need him the most. God understands our shortcomings. Pray for guidance to help you through your trials. Have you considered Bible studies. You don’t have to drink and party to have a good time. There are so many wonderful thing to do. Drop those old habits and transform your life. Good Luck.

  17. It is human nature to want to be accepted by other people your age or that share your interests. However, God is the way to go. All of the time. There is never a wrong time of the day, week, or year for Him. Yes there are some nice people that will be willing to help you stay sober and they can also show you how to have a good time without drinking. I would suggest start looking for them in a nice rehabilitation area. There are going to be so many people with very similar stories to yours. (Definately stop going to the parties that involve drinking.) Stay away from alcohol all together and then one day you will be able to be around it again and you will not want a drink. Good luck with your decision and God Bless!

  18. Our Lord is a forgiving Lord. He wont give up on you so you cant either. Keep the faith and he will walk with you. When you are doing wrong and you hear that little voice saying you shouldn’t be doing this, that’s the Lord with you.

  19. You want to get high and that is natural. It is great that you are aware of your mind and actions. Yes, you can go to the party and get high and not drink. One just has to be in the present and enjoy the people there and you will get a contact high. Enjoy life and stay in touch with God’s presence.

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