Something in the last month happened, which I shall try to really shorten. I should also mention that before this I was an atheist, did not believe in magic, paranormal or anything like that. I was an open-minded skeptic. Yes, I know, hypocrite.
Note: I also did not, and do not take drugs (pharmaceutical and recreational).
I had been very depressed for about 3 months, so depressed to the point I thought “to hell with this life and world” many times. So last month when I was at the lowest of my low in my whole entire life, I went to sleep hoping I would never wake up. I went to sleep and what happened changed me forever. I know full well that this was NOT a dream for reason I will explain.
I remember everything was black and then a door appeared. This door opened and I felt myself removing myself from my physical body and watching myself sleep. Then I went through this door and I somehow knew I had “passed on” (someone was telling me that this is what dying really is, and it was beautiful) and my spirit/soul started traveling through different planes of existence to, it seemed like, the “spirit world”. I felt very safe and extremely peaceful and happy. Then my spirit body traveled back in time and space and to places I had never seen, but I know 100% exist, specifically a very green, luscious and empty field where I “landed” and remote viewed at the same time. When I arrived there, things just began to click. Through my mind, the same someone was telling me not to be afraid anymore and that what “exists” does not really “exist”. It told me that the physical world and everything in it (my relationships, aspirations, wants, desires, hopes) were not me and that I need to seek out the messages I had been receiving through my dreams all these years. I left the field and knew instantly that I had somehow changed. When I arrived back in my room, I actually again saw myself and when I “touched” my body, I woke up and it was morning. After I “woke up” everything felt different. People, my room, it had all changed, though it was still the same. It felt like I was floating through this fuzzy world and when I looked around I realized how pathetic my life had really been. I had a deep feeling that I was in the wrong place and I just felt a deep urge to “go home” (spirit world).
The next day after, I did something I would have never done. I went out and bought painting supplies, a journal for poetry, music and art because something deep in me was telling me to. I also started reading about all things connected to spirituality, spiritual world, paranormal, and things like reincarnation, meditation, mysticism, remote viewing, ghosts, spirits, shamanism, guides, angels.. anything to do with things “out-of-this-world” began to REALLY make sense to me. I also felt very connected to the natural world and saw how beautiful it really was. Even a leaf just floating by or the clouds were enough to make cry out in awe. I also starting feeling “invisible beings” around me. I could sense them, especially at night (though it did scare me sometimes).
After the background explanation, I shall get into my real question. Since that happened, my dreams have become even more vivid and the field I went to keeps reappearing, “inviting me to come”. I keep feeling something is also pushing me, like I NEED to leave so I can visit mystics, shamans, priests, monasteries, Native American priests…., but I cannot understand why. I have also been trying to understand dreams that I have had since I was little, dreams I am still scared to tell anybody because I know I would be locked up. But I am slowly connecting the dots in some of them and know 100% that I have been astrally projecting in some of them, though I did not know it. ex: I was watching National Geographic and I recognized the forest they were showing. It took me a while to find out where I had seen it before. Surprise, surprise; in my “dreams”, where I went walking around it, climbed the trees and everything; (and every forest is different, look it up). I thought that I had probably seen the program before, but I checked and the release date was 2007 and I had had that dream about 4 or 5 years before that. It also happened with my other very very vivid dreams. It is quite unnerving.
I could go on and on about what is happening, but I want to ask you, what do you think of all this. I know that this is not all in my mind, because even my sister said that there is something strange about me, but she cannot put her finger on it. Is someone or something sending me messages now that my eyes have been “opened”? Should listen to that “someone” and leave my “life” behind? or should i just dismiss it? please be serious and do not make fun of me, I need some help. Thanks if you do answer.